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Brian
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if you are staying home to take care of your (and his) child and you are flat broke at the same time, he is not taking good care of you. he should be covering all of your expenses. |
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cutie420311
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he should be willing to help out with those, since he's got to realize you were going to run out of money eventually and it was by agreement you are staying home |
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Jewells
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I think it is his responsiblity to fully take care of you and his child. |
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QWERTY
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If he wants you to be a stay at home mom for his child he must provide for you and pay all the bills both yours and his. Otherwise you need to return to work. |
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Mr. Bugsme
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He should pay. If he agreed with you in the beginning that you should stay home, how in the hell can he expect you to pay these bills? |
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chaoss13
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If he pays the bills, he needs to pay ALL of the bills. He can't expect you to not work and him not pay all of the bills. Doesn't he live with you? If so why doesn't he just pay everything as he should? |
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ndnqt1966
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If your fiance wants you to stay home to take care of your baby, then he should be prepared to take on ALL the bills. Where in the world does he expect you to get money if you aren't working outside the home? |
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Maya's_Mama
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since he is the one that wanted you to stay home, then yes it is his duty to support you fully. remember he is always in debt to you, you gave birth to his child. |
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switchmistress
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if you both agreed for you to stay home, then yes he should take care of all the bills |
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Sweet B
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It should not be a problem asking for the money for your personals. Remember, this is your fiance' and you are the mother of his child. Also, he did request that you would stay at home and care for your child. Inform him about your account and he will be the great man that he seems to be and take care of his business, which is you and your child!!! B |
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Fast Pace
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If he is generous what u talking about? Your kid needs u around! Tell your fiancee that u got fat having a kid and the list he can do is pay some stupid bills like phone. If he is a cheapo than find a better one. If he is not spending on you, he will in someone else and them u will regret your saving life style! |
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Sparkles
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If he is wanting you to stay home with the baby, then he should be understanding enough to pay all the bills, not just the ones from the household expenses. |
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misty l c
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Try working a part time job. So you can spend time with your child and have a little spending money to.You can do both.He should help you too. |
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Kitty
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If you're staying home taking care of HIS child, his income is your income too. Sit down with him and discuss the finances. You're getting married, for god's sake. Why are you afraid to tackle this issue? It's not "his bills" and "your bills" anymore... these are your common bills, and they should be paid from a common account that both of you have access to. Don't ask him to "help with the bills" - ask him what your long-term solution is going to be for bills and finances. Set up a budget, and pay all the bills together. |
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stephanie_nature
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I don't think it would be too much to ask since you are Mom to his baby. I do however think that it's a good idea to have a way to make a little money on the side so you don't have to ask him alot. I was there not long ago, he didn't mind giving me money when I asked.....but I didn't like asking unless I absolutely needed something. If you'd like someone to talk to, you can email me from my profile.
Good luck!
~Stephanie |
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skotishdelyte
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you should have discussed your financial well being prior to agreeing to become a stay at home mom since it was a mutual decision, he should have anticipated your financial needs and given you a monthly income to assist with these needs
you should never have had to touch your savings (that money should have been a nest egg for your family in the case of an extreme emergency)
what if he decides he no longer wants to marry you now you have no money left how will you support you and your baby
that's water under the bridge now agree on a fair amount for your monthly allowance and start saving again |
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*Freedom*
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I'd say you should expect a prosal instead. |
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Emily G
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If he agrees that you should stay at home with your baby then he should understand that you're going to need help financially. If he doesn't then I think it might be time to go and get a part-time job. |
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Jeremiah
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No, you are not asking too much. If necessary, tell him that if he doesn't help you pay your bills, both of you may be jeopardized |
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Jeff D
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IF he wants you at home,He should pay all bills, that includes telephone, insurance, food, even clothing(not Channel or Prada maybe depending on annual income).Any entertainment or wants should be agreed upon mutually. If he goes out to drink with the guys you should be financed to go for a girls night(not for all your friends of course,maybe one round on you). |
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gwg1965
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Here's are your choices.
1. Get a part time job.
2. Tell him if he wants you to stay home, he has to pay ALL the bills and tell him about the ones you have.
3. Even if you don't get a job outside the house, you have a right to some spending money. You should be able to go to the occasional lunch or "buy a candybar as you put it"
I wonder if he is controlling at all? Alot of times the man really isolates the woman to get his way. Beware that this is not happening.
Personally, I think you should get a little part time job to get yourself out of the house. You can have some adult time and still see friends and maintain a life of your own.
Good luck! |
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Luvvie
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I was in a similar situation years ago though my children were in elementry school, I had to sit my "MESO' most significant other, down and explain that I needed to #1 have some living exspenses #2 help supliment his
income. He did not want me to go out to work so I advertised to 'do day-care' in our home. I actually stared a 'Moms Morning Out" and had a mini day care morning two mornings a week. I was fun.
The extra money was all mine and I felt better not having to depend on him for everything and I could pay for my personal things. It helped with my self asteem.
Explain to your honey that you appreciate his kindness and love the fact that he wants to take care of you both, that's very admirable, but you DO have needs too.... and it would make you feel better if you could earn a little bit of your own money while the baby is still so dependant on you.
Good luck. |
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Woman in Red
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I could see him not turning over the magical joint debit card since he pays most of bills. And knows how much needed when. But certainly he should give you a monthly agreed upon "paycheck" since you no longer work. It usual is much less than what you use to make but it is the independance not $ amount that is important.
It is a sense of independance and freedom to be able to buy something for child, him, or you and not ask permission. Get this negotiated ASAP. Ideally, it was a question I approached with hubby before we even conceived. Also revisited before I turned in my resignation while preganat, but I am a b#@$^. LOL
Good Luck |
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happy@50
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He doesn't take good care of you if he doesn't support you. Maybe you should start giving him the bill after you cook for him.....If he wants you to stay home he should support you-in every way. |
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SinSister
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Does he really expect you to pay your own bills after asking you to stay home with the baby? How does he expect you to get it? You shouldn't have had to go through your savings to begin with. He should have supported you from the beginning. What happens after you're married??? You need a joint checking account NOW! |
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loulou
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Perhaps he could give you an allowance? He must realise you need something for yourself if you're at home and not earning? Or maybe after a year you could get a few hours a week somewhere for some pin money, it would probably be good for you to have some adult contact too, if you stay away from work for too long it gets very hard to get back to it, just 1 nite a week to fit round his job would make a difference to you and he won't be inclined to think you only want his money!!! |
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♥pokey♥
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i dont see why that would be a problem at all. just talk to him about it and see what his feelings are before you just straight up ask him |
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Tsunami
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hes your fiance and hes not doing his part period. my good ness its high time you told him to start paying or elase the marriage is off. i bet that gets him to do something. if he doens't leave him hes not worth it take him to court and get child support. |
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pappysgotitgoinon
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I would wonder why he isn't living with you. If he requires that you are a stay at home mom, then he should expect to pay everything including some spending money. This should be talked over with him and if he isn't alright with the idea, then get a part time job someplace for the extra money that you are needing. |
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Mama Mia
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This is just one of the reasons why people get married. It should be understood that you have access to the money that both of you earn by doing the jobs that you do. Yours is being" a stay at home mom", and his is" taking care of the three of you and receiving cash from his job". If you don't both have an understanding that the finances are an "ours" then you better plan to find a job outside the home. That uncomfortable feeling of being destitute, is your guardian angel telling you that something isn't right and you better level the playing field. |
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merrybodner
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First, get married. Now. Then you won't be flat broke. |
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