Should the "other woman" just get away with it?

LAL

My first husband cheated on me more then once. I thought he would stop, that it was a "phase" and when he quit then we could end up in a good marriage.....NOT! After 2 years I divorced him and moved out of state. I loved his family and we always exchanged Christmas cards. So, I got on with my life and I saw him 7 yrs later. He quit his drugs and got a good job and his head was on straight. We got along great. And he admitted that he did me wrong and I was the best thing that ever happened in his life. He wanted to get remarried, but my life was way past wanting to be married to him. I truly still cared about him, but realized that the best gift he ever gave me was to do something that made me leave him. My life is good now. So, what I'm telling you now is, that he let you know what kind of person he really is and she was part of that lesson. Maybe you need to seize the opportunity to make a better life for yourself without him. Their relationship isn't going to work out because it's built on quick sand. By the time they realize that, you'll have a wonderful life and quite honestly, there's no better revenge then to have a wonderful life after someone did something so destructive.

aloneinyourinsanity

I think the effort it would take to try to make her life hard could be better put to use. Lets stop and look at what the homewrecker is getting.....
She is getting a guy who will cheat on her next only she is too foolish to see it. Send her a get well card or a my condolances card, she's the poor sap he is going to screw over next. You are lucky to be rid of him and you deserve and will have so much better.

gypsy g

A family friend should be shamed and never spoken to again.

David B

I think that while you may feel better in the short term by doing some of those things, they won't change the facts and often times is not worth it. I'd move on and focus your attention on something positive no matter how hard that may seem at the moment.

vaughnc5920

Well considering that it takes two to tango, I would say that the "homewrecker" should reap some of the responsibility. But sadly, there is not much in this world that can be done to "force" responsibility on someone. If you go to their apartment and scream and yell, you could be arrested. However, I would be more concerned with your emotional recovery rather than her homewrecking ways. You need to realize that you don't need someone who would betray you like that, and recover your life, and not give her so much power over your soul.

I have gone through this one....

dpilipis

Life is not fair. However, what you are suggesting does not help an already bad situation.

It is for this sort of thing that women have acquired their notoriously "catty" reputations.

You are right about one thing though, it is your partner's fault, above all else because he is the one who owes you the duty to stay faithful, not the other person (whether they know you or not). Focus your efforts there.

hazeltine4

While it sounds like a good idea, she can have you arrested for disturbing the peace and for libel or slander. She is not doing anything technically illegal -- just highly immoral. What you suggest would be illegal.

It is better to quietly make sure that pweopl know what this tramp did. The guy that broke up my marriage now has no friends, and neither does my ex-. And now, after 5 years of them dating, she finally realized what a loser he is, and dumped him, too. Now neither one has friends, but at least people will talk to her now.

Our mutual friends during our marriage all stuck with me - once they figured out what this homewrecker had done.

"What goes around, comes around!"

fire4511

You seem to be very angry, but all you do if you do something like that is make yourself look petty and foolish! While both parties are wrong to cheat, the one who hurt you is your partner!

You also could subject yourself to legal troubles. Liable and slander suits, or arrests for disturbing the peace will not make your life better.

You are hurting, but do not do something stupid!

Gypsy Girl

None of those things will give you piece. If you stand outside her apartment and yell, you could be arrested. You could dedicate your myspace page to her for a while, but what would it accomplish? If it will make you feel better than go ahead and do it. But if your only motivation is revenge, I guarantee that it will not help you at all. You need to move on with your life. Ruining hers will not help you to do that.

Romans 8:28

It takes two to tango, and if the "other woman" knew the guy was married, she is just as guilty. Don't stoop to immature behavior - forgiveness is key for moving on with your life. Trust me, God will deal with her in His time.

olderbutwiser

Take the "high road"! If you mess with manure, you begin to stink too.

maya

move on & let it go coz if you do anything now she & your partner will think that you still have feeling for him & ur jealous of her, & don't forget what goes around comes back, God is watching & she will get it to lol

Bingo

No it is not right of the other woman, but your spouse isn't innocent either. Don't go yell at her tho, You have to be the adult here I know it is hard, First I would make sure the whole family knows that you don't like her at all and you don't want her around if your family respects you they will no longer let her be involved in your family functions, If your family keeps letting her around then I would tell them straight out that they know how you feel about her after what she had did to you and your family and if they really love you they wouldn't keep hurting you like that and tell them you wont come around any more if they like her around better, As for your husband if he cheats once he'll cheat again, I'd leave him in a heart beat he is no better than her, Stay strong they aren't worth it.

HeadLiner

if the other person knew your spouse was married, then they deserve a proper beat down. otherwise, let them go.

theartisttwin

I have suffered at the hands of cheaters many times. Though it is a pleasant thought to imagine severe consequences to the "other woman"....or even your partner, this just puts us on their level. Why lower ourselves when their own behavior in life will bring about their own consequences. People with no morals or empathy generally get what they deserve in the long run.

Marcie

If I did the behaviors that you suggest, I may feel better at that moment, but in the long run, I think I'd feel foolish.
I believe that we all have consequences to our actions.. good or bad. I think you may never get the satisfaction of seeing her consequences of this specific action.
The only way that she won't have some emotional consequence is if she is a total sociopath (& those are rare)
and has no feelings.
If you really think it will make you feel better... go ahead, but I suggest that it's between God and her, not you and her.

Maureen

I think that behaving vengefully does nothing to make you a better person or improve your life at all.

Accept what happened. Learn from it. Move on in your life.

Allow others to do the same.

holister54259006aerogurliscoolha

it is indeed the partners fault and if he/she is cheating on you than you deserve better. i know you want to make him/her feel the same pain that they caused you, but sometimes it is better to let it all go no matter how hard it may seem. you are better off and will meet someone terrific someday.

lindseygirl

I think if she knows he's taken and especially if she knows the family, then she is a major w h o r e and I would just let her continue to live her life like that and she will get what is coming to her. Going out of your way to piss her off or make her look bad only really makes you look childish.

Sal SR

You will only get yourself hurt this way. Ask yourself this question .... What do I achieve if i take revenge on her? Will i get satisfaction or will i feel guilty for the bad things i do?

In life, there are alot of things we cannot take into our own hands. It is not for us to punish someone whom we believe has done wrong to us.

I wld blame it on your husband. If he is such a weak man who can be unfaithful to you, chasing away this woman will not assure you that he will not cheat you again in future.

Let them go. Find your own happiness. Love and take care of yourself. You are more worthy of the beautiful things in life than losing your sanity over your husband's infidelity. Just remember that there are more people out there who love you than you might ever know.

Btdt

Lulu

If you follow her and tell everybody what kind of person she is you'll be acting as low as she is. Be a lady, it has much more rewards and you'll find out.
Believe me, somehow, people know how she is, you don't need to tell then.
Also sooner or later he and she are going to "pay" for what they done, as incredible as it sounds, you'll hear about it.

mac&cheese

Things we do that we know are wrong usually come back to bite us. I really believe that if she knows she did wrong and isn't sorry she'll never really be at peace. Also, how will she ever have a happy marriage herself knowing that there are women like her in the world. My advice, go vent to a longtime girlfriend. Use every swear word you know, all in a row. Then try to be happy yourself. Let someone else be her judge. Besides, what if she comes out and says things that just make your heart break more? I totally understand your anger. Good luck and God Bless.

I actually feel compassion for the woman who picked my husband up in a bar while he was blitzed drunk...he confessed the next day and thru the power of God and forgiveness he and I are working through it...our marriage is stronger and healthier than it was before he cheated and I praise God for that!! However, the "other woman" is probably still a broken, lost, hopeless individual still out there getting wasted and messing with other women's husbands...what is so broken in her own life that she would use married men to make herself feel better? I dont think revenge would benefit anyone so I pray for her...

singlechick26

No im sure she is not just " getting away with it " like you think she is. there is probably a lot of bad stuff having happend or happening to her - you just dont hear about it.

princessfionafantasy

i think its really immature. your just hurt and wanting to make someone feel as bad as you. the "other woman" never does wreck a marriage. im sorry but there were issues LONG before she came along.

BOTTOM LINE: if a man is HAPPY with his wife he isnt going to cheat! if he is unhappy he will.

sweetcup

if they knew your family it is her flat for entering that type of relationship to begin with i would have bet the h**l out of her then told everyone she knew to stay away from her that she is a man stilling b****and made hers and his life a living he**.

Quigley

Yep, the other woman usually get away without a scratch. That is until the guy falls for another woman. I would try to get some other woman to break up you partner's new love.

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