Should we stay together just for the kids?

brianprsly

No because if you stay together and its not working out there will be fighting. The kids wont be happy if their parents are fighting. I say break up/ get a divorce and move on when the kids are still young because if you do it when they are teenagers they will think too much into it and blame it on themselves.

do your kids a favor.
separate.

BabeHeart

No. What will the kids learn but that Mom & Dad don't love each other, and relationships are about settling, being miserable, and staying together even when someone cheats (betrays) on their partner.

The kids will be better off if you two are living apart and happier with your lives, than together and dissatisfied (or worse).

huny

You should never stay together for the sake of the kids. You will end up causing them and yourself more harm than good. My heart goes out to you. It is an awful position to be in and hope you find someone who will be faithful to you in the future. You will never be happy if you stay with your wife as you will always be wondering what she is doing or who she is sleeping with. Give yourself a chance to be happy again and leave. make sure your kids know that you love them more than anything and that you will always be there for them no matter what happens.

dr_quatto

No, it will hurt the kids more to see a living loveless relationship than if you move on.

Tom J

saying together for the kids is one of the worst 'epidemics' in America...the kids can tell if you are miserable, it wil affect tehm and makethem think that an "unhappy reltionship" is normal

Girly1

My parents stayed together because of us kids, honestly to tell you the truth I wished they had split up. Dad was always cheating and Mom was always snooping to find out who he was with. We kids got caught in the middle, I never had a teenage life because I was always watching my brother, they were out running around.

WoNdErWhAtSnExT

i believe it will be worse for the kids if you stay together, just imagine, after time words, feelings and actions may just be thrown about, and it may become not so much of a secret anymore, and i think the negative impct of that would be far worse.. plus the kids are young... if they are teens, they think it may be that they are the reason...but when they are little ones, they tend to adapt easier.

Me Oh My

Dude I'm i know where your coming from, leave and find someone you deserve. You will be doing the kids a favor, and who the heck knows who she is doing.

sexy mammi

no seperate why would you be with some one you dont love any more your kids will be happier if you guys were sepperated

Queen of Beer

No - staying together for the kids is a joke. The kids will respect you more and grow up healthier if they don't see you both miserable and fighting all the time. Move on.

lisalisa

stay together and your kids will grow up seeing two people not touch love and have affection and mommy having affairs.

that will really screw them up.

Elaine M

Been there done that!! Your wife wants to have her cake and eat it too. Sounds like she wants the security of you but when she wants a little something on the side, she get it. Coming from one that has cheated and who has been cheated on, once she cheats, she'll cheat again. Are you prepared for that? Besides, what kind of relationship are you teaching your kids is "normal". If both of you decide to divorce, just remember the kids. It will be easier on them if both of you try not to pit them against the other parent. We all need love, affection and to have our needs met and if she can't do that, find someone you can. Good luck with that.

~Baby D~

NO, you need to do what is best for you. It will also be what is best for the kids. She took the honor out of your marriage, not you so don't feel guilty about this.

What is best for you and those babies is to have a happy, loving life.

starshyne59

Staying together for the kids is very seldom a good idea.

Would you rather your kids be raised with both their parents being happy in separate relationships, or being miserable together? My personal opinion is it's better to show them that some relationships can be good, instead of only showing them that marriage is a strained relationship.

Whatever you decide, it won't be easy. Good luck!

Canadian Yummy Mummy

I'm normally not an advocate for divorce but with something in this case where there is no love-divorce, separation shold be the option. This is not something that is good to show the kids, and It's also not fair on you. To stay together for the kids sake will not be doing any favours, you're setting them up to see how marriage works and living as a couple who's not in love is not a marriage. They won't be thankful that you stayed together for the sake of them, they'll feel responsible for your unhappy marriage. Better live two separate happy lives than one unhappy life as a couple.

Elly

Things won't ever go back to the way you're used to.
I'm sorry =[

But you two shouldn't stay with her. I think it's sweet that
you stayed with her this long already, after she cheated.
But she's broken trust, hurt you and you said yourself she isn't in love with you anymore. Your children matter and I know you love them and care about their future. But I'm sure when they get older they'll be okay with it. I'm 16 years old, my mom and dad never even got married. And I can't change the fact that they aren't together but they've met some amazing other people so I'm happy. You're children will understand. Trust me.

mommy2

I feel that when you no longer have feeling for one another then its time to start over. I think it would be hard to stay with my husband if he were to cheat on me but want to stay w/ me for our kids sake knowing he doesnt love me anymore. Its not that way but if it were I wouldnt be with him. Its between you and her but if it were me I wouldnt you would feel all the tension and be angry toward her then the kids would pick up on it and thats not healthy. I think you should divorce and live your own lives but be good parents to your children not let them feel unloved but partner in parenting. You are a good guy she messed up and I am sorry for that but she told you she doesnt love you anymore free yourself and be happy. good luck.

~Carolyn~

This is no way to have to live. You can still be a good parent even if you divorce. You only get to live this life one time. Do you really want to spend the little time you do have in a miserable relationship? The children will be just fine. Lotsa luck to you!

Iisfriendly

Depends on what the kids are seeiing in all of her cheating. If they are aware, or will be aware of it in the future, I would move on. Better for them to think their parents divorced, than that it's ok to be married and cheat on your spouse.
Plus, you deserve to be happy. As it is, she's the one really benefiting with the set-up.
Good luck finding a good woman in the future. They are out there! :)

kimd9832004

in therapy right now trying to save my marraige and i will tell you, the kids KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWW

so its better to separate. don't tell the kids until you both have suitable housing and tell the kids you both love htem and you will both have custody.

compass_landscaping

You'll probably hurt the kids more by staying together. You'll also be depressed. Get a divource, stay friends with your wife, and love your kids.

Steve L

Just be friends? She is just afraid if you divorce she will get the kids and that will really put a kink in her single lifestyle. She would rather you be there as a built in babysitter at a moments notice.

How are you going to feel to see her going out on dates while you stay home with the kids.

aquaopal

Never stay together for the kids. The kids always know when their parents are not happy. Save face and leave, share custody of the children.

My father lived in another state while still married to my Mom, they "stayed together for the kids", me and my sister just wanted them to end it already, I hated seeing my Mom cry, and my Dad didn't want to be seen as this "bad guy" he wasn't a bad guy but he was a bad husband.

Don't put your kids through a loveless marriage. Seperate.

Gummy Bear

I agree with what every person here has said. It sounds like a loveless unhappy marriage and I KNOW your kids would rather see you happy.

dixie

NO!!!! Staying together for the kids is the worst thing you could do for the kids. They will catch on if they havent already that mom and dad arent together and arent happy, when if you guys went your own ways, you could be happy. This will affect the children more than you if you stay together, this eventually will tear the family apart

You know, kids are much smarter than we give them credit. My parents went that route, and I hated the fact that they lived that lie for me. I knew they were unhappy and miserable with each other and it effected me most of my adult life. Just end your marriage and let your kids know that you love them very much. Good luck.

Maria A.

What you wrote was my husband's previous life. That was his past marriage, almost word for word, and he did stay for the kids sake, and she ran around even more, as she was not happy either, and he could not convince her to stop having affairs, in the end they parted bitterly. The kids were teenagers, and grew up to be men, and all they saw was one fight to another between their parents, a love less marriage. The kids did not believe he did it for them, they thought he did it to win her over, and miserably failed. He said if he only knew that true love was around the corner for him, he would have made significantly different decisions, his ex too, found true love right after they broke up, and is now happy with a new man she appears to love alot, now they are both happy with someone else, and the kids are grown men that are OK. I think that they could have been spared the tension if the parents had broken up sooner. How can children learn what love is between a man and a woman, when all they see are the fights.

moe

just because you may divorce doesnt mean you have to love your kids anyless. i think you should make the move and have your kids half the time .stay friends with your wife , dont talk bad about each other.when the kids see you happy they will be happy too.to live in a lovless marriage is not the answer you need to be happy too!

mrsdawson2000

this is probably one of the WORST mistakes you could do in your life and in the lives of your children. Your children look up to you as an example of what marriage should be like. if you are Staying together, you are only agreeing to teaching your kids that marriage is loveless and meaningless. Also you are teaching them that marriage is based around children- its not, marriage is based on the love and committment between husband and wife. Your children will grow up in an environment where two parents dont love eachother and are not happy - how is that best for the children? My sister just broke up with long time bf because after 4 years she doesnt feel he loves her. He does love her deep down im sure but he has never said I LOVE YOU, he shys away from her and is basically emotionally handicapped. As it goes, we've just learned that when he was 7 his mother said she didnt love his father and they stayed together ''for the kids'' - for 5 more years they lived in one house...never once does he remember his father and mother holding hands, kissing, enjoying eachother - ever. Now look how this has effected him - my sister wanted to marry this man. Now its dust.

You are about to take a step towards ruining your childrens future potential of keeping relationships and a family.....

Get a divorce buddy.

Kristine

kids can sense when you all are not happy together,
so NO.
i mean she cheated on you already, what are you waiting for?
made this Bi** pay!!

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