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Should you stay with the woman you hate to be with the child you love?
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Should you stay with the woman you hate to be with the child you love?



    




~Mustaffa~Laff~
Rating
a clean break will be easier for everyone. If you love the child? then continue to show it outside of your bad relationship with his/her Mother....

most men collapse, I hope that you dont :-)


Clear thinker
No, you should love the child you made by not exposing them to hate.


rostov
No, I hope I would not.

Hate is not a good environment in which to raise a child.


Tina
Rating
If you truly hate this woman, you're not doing the child any favors by staying. You can leave the woman without abandoning the child. Just make sure you do right and be sure you take care of your responsibilities. And be sure you understand that once you leave, you have no say in her life anymore.


Rhoda
no, if you don't want the child to hate you.


ANDREA K
no


china doll
Rating
No, don't do that. I tried it with an ex boyfriend and the relationship between me and my daughter was strained because i was so stressed. It's easier and happier for the child if you split up and gain access to the child. Whatever happens, i wish you luck.


luminosa
No, it only causes stress for parents and for the child. If you argue in front of the child he/she will grow up thinking it is a normal healthy relationship and will expect the same out of their own marriage. If you argue behind closed doors. Children hear through walls better than you think. What they hear is the hatred in your voices and it is frightening. Nope, not a good idea. Better to separate and have joint custody.


flashylights
No, because one it's not a healthy relationship and two your child will eventually catch on that you hate his/her mother and then he/she will not be happy. If you really love the child, do what's best for you and him/her, don't stay with the woman if you hate her.
Hope all goes well, Merry Christmas.


timetraveller
Rating
no..you can still love your child even if you are apart from the woman.


Miss_Jacquelyn
Rating
no. alot of people think 'staying for the kids' is the answer but it isnt. kids are really smart and can pick up on things. a bad relationship is a negative one. and a kid living in a house with his parents who arent getting along, will be bad in the future. its best you dont stay with this woman you cant stand. you will be able to see the child, it wont be as often, or easy, but think about the kid since you obviously love them enough to even consider whats best for them.


cheshire_cat99
No way! You don't want to have the child see you fighting all the time or not getting along. Also you will just keep yourself miserable all the time if you in a relationship you dont even want to be in!


AngelVirgo9206
Rating
No just be civil towards her for your kids sake and move on


yourpastlifelover
Nope. That makes it much harder on the child. Split up with her, but see if you can work out at least partial custody or visitation rights. If the kid sees his/her parents expressing hatred, it will just make him/her feel scared, confused, and very very depressed.


pnut
Rating
Absolutely Not! An unhappy person never raised a happy child. Children are the products of their environment and deserve the best chance at being normal productive members of our society.


hogsnotbubbles
Rating
NO! NEVER!!

People forget how smart children are. They have feelings and they see things.

There's no reason for you not to beable to spend time and be around the child unless you have done anything to harm them.

Fight for custody. IF that isn't a possibility, you can ask for alot of visitation.

You'll just make the child unhappy if you stay where your not.


justmedrt
No....you will only be miserable...and children pick up on and know more than you might think!


mel271172
Rating
No! you should'nt stay with someone you hate, as the child you love is watching and learning! Teach them how to love not to hate...


mistickle17
Rating
No because the child will pick up on the vibes of hate no matter how much you both try to disguise it.


3D Farms
Is she a good mother to the kids and just a bad wife . Can you talk to her about it .
Maybe she would let you have the kids and she would leave ?


Common Sense
Rating
Nope


Bren
NO NO NO!! Children are very perseptive and can sense when there are ill feelings between parents. The child would be better off if you divorced and shared custody. This way the child won't be in the middle of your hate fest with your wife. Just make sure your child understands that whatever decision you make, it is not his/her fault. That, for whatever reason you two divorce, it is between you and your wife and has no bearing on how much you and her mother love him/her. Children too often feel like its their fault when parents separate or divorce. But the worst thing you can do is to stay in this relationship with the feelings you have for this childs mother. Good Luck & Merry Christmas!!


North London Lady!
No way. Even if you do, your child will grow up in a very uncomfortable environment and what will happen when your kid turns 18 and leaves home? You need to be true to yourself and there are so many legal procedures of getting access to seeing your child that you can look into. Don't make yourself or your child unhappy. Best of luck.


CrystalEyes
Rating
That might result in undue stress on the child. If the man is with a woman he cannot get along with; he might argue constantly in front of the child or even build resentment towards his family for keeping him in a situation he is not happy with. He does not need to stay with the mother to love the child. He needs to make sure to live close enough to the child's house so that the two of them can see each other everyday. Stay involved, but he should be careful not to put his family (Because if he stays with her or not; she's family) through something that might hurt later.
If she is not mature enough to understand this, he needs to be.


MsCurious
Rating
Well it's an eternally difficult question.

You have to do what you feel is right. But think if your child asked you that question what would you say? "No stay in that abusive relationship" or "make do". Perhaps you might say go for it achieve your dreams and all that we wanted for you.

You are a role model for your children. If you stay in a situation that is less than perfect thing what messages you give to your kids.


christine h
The goverment at the moment are going on about broken home children and the effects on them ,but at the same time tell us they support abused wives/husbands and give them shelter.So we cant win.We leave we have bad kids and if we stay we have bad kids.If your not happy leave,after all we do have a choice in our lives also.We just hope for the best and if its not good enough well we have tried.Just do your best and stay close by .Have a happy life and your child will still love you ,trust me .


C
Absolutly not . This is not a healthy relationship for youre child to be in . So get of of that and have a relationship with youre child alone .


mentallyill
Rating
I found myself in a similar situation so i know how you're feeling but i left my husband and my kids were upset for a while but healthier for the best part now.

Don't stay in a situation that affects your health, sanity or self esteem for the sake of a child. You will see the benefits if you move on - truly x

Take care and if you want to email me you can if that helps x


dave p
Rating
been there done it ,years of hell,did it for my children


Eddie
No. Thats a life wasted, be civil and make proper arrangements.





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