So Im gonna break up with my abusive husband?

Well I have though about it and I think that you are all right and my children should come first regardless of how in love with him I am. I dont want them to grow up in an unhappy home. I can raise them myself I have done so for 2 years now. I am going to tell him that I dont want ot be with him though I know the first thing he will do is go with another girl to hurt me and make me regret rejecting him plus I find it very hard when it comes down to it to tell him that I dont want to have a relationship with him I call him but I end up backing out I dont want to send a letter or a text or e mail he deserves to hear it from my voice though I can not do it face to face becasue we are 900 miles apart. I do love him but I love my children more I just gotta find out how to get the strengh to do it... has anyone done this before? any advice? only nice answers please I come here cus u are all so great and supportive I hate people writting horrible stuff.
Additional Details
I just said im going to dump him! I just find it hard to do it! I want to know how to do it without chickening out.

wildwillyinva

Write your script out on a note card and give him a call and read what you wrote down.

Remember, if you rip of a band-aid slowly it hurts more. So, just get on with it and move on with your life.

It will help him get on with his as well.

Melissa G

your doing the right thing and you are a very strong woman to do what is best for your children, they will thank you when they are older and understand everything. i think that it is great that you have the guts to do whats best and take action instead of just sitting on your butt wishing things were different. you will move on and find someone new that you deserve. why not try to have the best of both worlds. why settle for a dirt bag that is abusive. way to go mom

Smily

dump him

tmalbro13

No sort of abuse should ever be tolerated and should take the parties involved in different directions immediately.

windmill ever

when i was in a situation like yours i literally had to move half way across the country and have minimal contact with him and I told him through an email that I wasnt coming back because i knew that he would play with my head if i called or tried in person...

so yea. I didnt have kids though..

mandabear

you can't put it off any longer. the more you sit and think about how to do it and what the "perfect" time to do it is, the more likely you are to talk yourself out of it. you need to really think about what's important to you and what you want out of your life. it's never too late to start over and you will find the strength in yourself to move on without him. no one deserves to be abused in any way and your children most definitely don't deserve to group up in an abusive household or with the knowledge that their mother is being abused. it'll scar them forever.
you are worth more than that. you have to dig deep and really believe that. it's going to hurt and it's going to be painful...but nothing worth anything ever came easy.
you will get through this. you know what you have to do.
you deserve a happy life. so do your kids.
best of luck to you, sweetheart.

Voodoo

Leave him, sweet one. He will never change. Once a man puts his hands on a woman in a hurtful way, or harms her verbally, it changes things in the relationship in a negative way. You know in your heart that you will never trust him again.

spider

So whats stopping you. File for that divorce and get on with your life.he is abusive you do not have to take that and your children should not be subjected to it either. I was in a verbally abusive marriage for 20 years with 3 beautiful children; finally I got the courage to get out I took my youngest child and moved half way across the country. Within a year my other 2 children joined me. My X filed for divorce;(he paid he wanted it) I met a gentleman and after 2 years I moved in with him; we got married and my children adore him; him & I have never had a fight and we have been together for almost 18 years; I have one regret and that is that I did not leave my husband before 20 years had passed; I wasted all those years of my life when I could have been blissfully happy with the real love of my life.
Do it you have so much waiting out there for you to discover.

Cee

You dont have to Tell him that you re breaking up with him...
if you are breaking up then just end it, you don't owe anybody who is abusive an explanation any way they should have enough common sense..

after breaking up with him, you should go do something positive for yourself and give yourself a treat.. it will be a huge step and deal for you so welldone! ...go join a free course, business enterprise, book club, or just get your hair done or just spend a nice day out somewhere relaxing....
then also go do something positive with your children ; ie take them to the beach, picnic, park, kite flying, theme park, zoo, museum, tour in london, pantomime, music concert....

R.M.G!

Speak, with all the confidence of a Mother protecting her children.
He cannot hurt you. Pity whatever Woman degrades herself to be with him. He will be just as abusive to her, bet on it. He thinks he is "right" being this way, he won't change.
I'm surprised that you say you still love him. What's to love in an abuser?
God grant You the strength of character.

tweety

Since your husband is abusive I would have another family member there when you tell him or tell him in a public place just don't be alone with him.

Katie M

He ABUSED you. That's a deal breaker and you don't owe that dirt bag any more than a letter or text message. You are making the best decision of your life. Not only will your kids be happier, they won't think his behavior is acceptable or normal and will likely be pickier when it comes to looking for partners for themselves. You should be proud of yourself. Good luck.

box of rain

Therapy.

You need therapy.

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