Soon to be ex says that he's going to shut off utilities...?

He walked out on me and the kids after 21 years (I know I sound like a broken record on that, but just wanted to recap). He walked out and for a long time he didn't give us any money. I got an attorney and filed for a divorce. Well, in the papers it says that he cannot cut any utilities off before the divorce. He called today as he often does, saying that he is dropping by to give my oldest boy his birthday card. He wasn't around on his birthday, because he went on vacation with some friends. Well, he gets back to town, we're all busy. We have company and he demands to drop by and further more, wants to let me know that he will be taking the boys with him this weekend. Well, for starters, the boys are afraid of him. He was abusive in many ways including physically. Well, I told him NO that he could come to the house and see the boys as long as he gives me plenty of notice. Well, he tells me that he is going to cut my phone off and the rest of the utilities after the first of the month. What will happen to him if he really does this? Will he be forced to turn them back on. I'm worried about this.
Additional Details
My lawyer advised me to keep the utilities in his name, because he needs to keep paying them until the divorce is final. Until alimony and spousal support payments are set.

IQ lady

You tell him to go right ahead and turn them off as it'll make your settlement even better when the court hears about this!
Don't take this BS.

free_angel

It would be best if you got the utlilites in your name that way he can't use this as ammo against you. He sounds very irresponsible and is thinking only of himself.

Just Surfin

Talk to your attorney, let him know about the threats, and see what your atty says. If it's in the papers, then the idiot has no grounds to threaten you wtih it.

Lilmama

Is there anything in the divorce papers that says what will happen if he does not abide by the rules in the divorce papers. If not you need to talk to your lawyer or a lawyer about the possibility of his turning off the utilities before the two of you are divorced.

AnaT

This is nothing that a couple of simple phone calls can't handle. Call and get the phone, electric, etc in your name. And in most cases they won't even have to come to residence to switch anything over--it's just a matter of giving them your information. Then tell the ex where he can go too.

titania_woodland_fairy_queen

If you want to have control of your own life and the situation why don't you get the utilities put in your name? Why are they still in his name? As far as this particular situation with the utilities go it's hard to feel any sympathy since your the one giving him the power by leaving them in his name.

EDIT: Your lawyer should tell you that even though their is no visitation agreement, he in the eyes of the law still has full parental rights and can come take them any time he wishes without court ordered visitation. You are still committing child custody interference, which is a crime (parental kidnapping). If you don't take them out of state still witholding him from picking up the kids is misdemeanor child custody interference in most states.

msims52

Call your lawyer first thing in the morning and let him/her know what your soon to be ex said. Your lawyer should call his lawyer, who should warn his/her client the court will hold him in contempt if he follows through. The worst that can happen is he does shut them off and you have to turn them back on in your name. Matter of fact, when you talk to your lawyer tomorrow talk to him/her about having his name removed from the accounts, this way he canâ€™t have them cut off.

nodumgys

tell your lawyer that you insist on an ex-parte hearing so that temporary support terms can be established. (whether it be directly to you and the children or by way of supporting the household)

purplesmiles19

If it's in the papers and he cuts the utilities off he will be in big trouble and even possibly go to jail for it. Not to mention that the judge will look on him badly and you'll most likely get all the things you're asking for in the divorce, especially since you have the kids and he's not only cutting the utilities off on you but on them also

windmill ever

so put them in your name. easy question.

Bio hopeful

do what your lawyer says

poodle mom

get those put in your name, and quick!! even if he does have them cut off, do you really want to put your kids through that until you can get him back in court? thats crazy!! i wouldnt wait another second!

Janet W

I'm not sure what the question is exactly. I think that you should stop depending on this man because he is obviously not dependable. You need to figure out how to take care of yourself and your husband. I know that you are codependent and in a perfect world everyone would be responsible but this is reality and your husband is not responsible so instead of trying to figure out whats right and whats wrong and whats fair and whats not you need to figure out how to be a good mother to your children. Be strong and take charge of your life don't be anyone's victim.

Betty M

Call your lawyer and ask him. What will happen if your ex goes through with his threat and actually turns off the utilities.

I'd be careful about interfering with his visitation rights to see his children. By doing that you could find yourself in jail. Seriously!

If your ex was abusive to your children and they are afraid to be alone with their dad and have overnight visits with him, then why didn't you bring this up in the divorce and show proof of the abusive and file with the court for him to be given only supervised visitation with the children?

You can't protect your children by breaking a court order for visitation. Your children will end up living with their dad, because you are in jail and he could end up taking the children away from you and get full custody of them.

Do things right! Prove he's unfit and the children are scared of him and have the court order him to have supervised visitation and force him to go to parenting and anger management classes before he is allowed to have unsupervised visitation with his children.

Pinkie

This sounds like a crock. Come on? get a divorce and have him pay you child support and alimony but now you want the bills under his name too?! That's ridiculous. Pay off the balance you owe (tis why you dont have them in your name) have all the bills transferred to your name and be DONE WITH HIM!
You two are getting divorced here, why should his name hold liability on YOUR bills. Yes there's kids and they are probably all his but thats what child support and alimony is for, so that you can take care of all that with out having him in the picture.
This reminds me of a joke I once heard.... Lady asks for a ride but insists on driving? doesnt make sense huh, well neither does all this. Good luk to you.

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