Spouse and friends???

there is this couple who are quote un quote friends with my spouse and I , however the female of this couple will speak more to my spouse then to me... example: greeting she will greet him first then me. ( every time)
my husband and we at her house when her dog went into labor I delivered some puppies for her but when she told the story the she was so gratful my husband was there and forgot to mention i was the one who did all the work.
I own a dog grooming business, she has never been a client but she is quick to try and refer, even my friends to another groomer. or cut down my business in front of others due to my policies I have in place ( from what I have spoken of) not of what she experienced. ( my clients are very happy... I am a hard nose perfectionist when it comes to grooming and business service.

She calls my husband if they want to invite us for dinner or emails him... SHe has my number as well. but prefer to contact him.

I have been playing this back and forth in my head but it has been reccently that others are seeing the same thing as I am from her like I don't exsite, so it isn't my imagination.

I don't want to be petty about this but it is sorta getting on my nerves.
she says she is so happy in marriage, and I know my husand isn't cheating , and I do not think that she wants my husband... but maybe i feel like she is over stepping the boundries in how to conduct herself in a proper fashion. .......... I don't want to cause any waves

i am a little sensative about it right now as another person brought this same behavior to my attention today about her, everyone says the same thing they don't think she after my husband , she doesn't talk bad about me to any one ... but something just isn't right.

how can I get over this type of crap.

maybe I am just a little old fashioned. but a woman should contact another woman for dinner plans, a woman should greet another woman first then the man spouse.
Additional Details
I have had lunch with her however she had her husband along with her , as well I have invited her out to all girl events and even invited her out to the horse arena where I have horses to have a BBQ .

marina

I can't stand women like that.

Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Make a plan that when she calls, you pick up the phone. When she emails, you answer her. It may be awkward for a minute, but she needs to figure out that you are not going to take her crap lying down.

Eventually, she will stop inviting you guys if she only gets to deal with you. Won't that be nice?

letterstoheather

Perhaps she's jealous of you for some reason, or doesn't particularly like you?

You must be a glutton for punishment - i wouldn't even be around her. she's plain rude.

foxytail_redhead

Hmmm I hate to tell you, but she just does not like you. She likes your husband and she just considers you the "spouse".

To be honest, I would try to socialize with other couples and not as much with them. If she calls your husband for a engagement. Tell your husband, you do not feel like going, if you need a excuse say "honey I just want us to do something together".

sasavert

I don't think she is after your husband, because if she was, she wouldn't do it in front of you!! I think she has a problem with you, YOU. So you need to ask her point blank what is her problem with you, and if she has a problem and how to fix it, because you shouldn't have to put up with someone that show you any sign of disrespect

Ariiiiii !

its possible that she has a thing for your husband, but its more likely and please dont take this the wrong way, but that she might take you as a bit frigid. You seem very to the point, and she might feel a warmer nicer person in your husband, being the reason she always goes to him first. These other things she does may seem more suspicious being that your not sure of y she's doing it. If you want to stay close friends with her, try getting your nails done together or going to lunch. Have a bit of bonding time and let loose, dont be so tight up and maybe she'll show more compassion towards you.

GOOD luck didnt mean to be harsh :]

Definitely, women should contact the woman, for example, when making dinner/visiting plans. Don't put yourself down by saying you're old fashioned -No- What you are is a decent person with a good, morals, values and boundaries in place.
I think it's time to slowly [or quickly] distance yourself from this couple. You don't deserve to be treated like you are invisible, that's blatant disrespect. Your hubby should be firmly by your side in brushing off this woman, change your phone numbers if you have to, to get rid of her. Of course there should be some sort of respect and basic etiquette when interacting with other couples, even God wants this for goodness sake. So you are correct.
Seems she really really wants your husbands attention and admiration. Kick her to the curb!

No you are not old fashioned. If some women called my husband and invited us for dinner, no matter who they are. I'm not going and my husband better not go for dinner, or he is not coming back into the house. He can stay there. How can you allow this? Tell your husband to limit himself and not be over friendly with her, and he should be pushing you forward for all this kind of stuff. Why is he taking care of all this matter when clearly you should be the one attending it. I think your husband is not cheating but he is definitely fond of her. Put a stop to it right now while you have control of the situation.

hazzeleyes0

She sounds VERY insecure & even jealous of you.
Talk to your husband, explain everything to him about your feelings.
Ask him to intervene. The next time she calls for dinner arrangements,have him to tell her that it's best if she called to ask you about it.
Your husband 'could' fix the entire problem here!
~~~Good Luck!~~~

Generic User Profile

Good luck with this situation. I went through it myself and believe me you are right to proceed with caution. Many men get very sensitive when you try to weigh in on their friendships. This woman doesn't like you and likely knows she has you over a barrel...boy have I been there with a similar situation. Also there may be a lot more than you realize going on here. At first I didn't think there was anything romantic between my DH and his female friend but later I learned that at one time before I came along they did have some sort of emotional bond. Nothing happened and DH actually got bored with her, realized the situation wasn't quite right and refocused on his friendship with her husband. She couldn't seem to let go at some level and really caused problems for DH and I that we are still working through, though most of it is behind us. If you can get him interested in other couples and can limit your interactions with that other couple that would be your best bet. Hopefully you won't have to do much beyond that. But, be prepared that you might have to discuss this with your husband and set boundaries. You are his wife and you come first. Also be prepared that if this other woman feels invested that she might make trouble. Hopefully that won't be the case. Decide where your boundaries are with spending time with this other couple and with your husband. Once they are crossed that is when you have to have the talk with him.

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