Spouse caught in dozens of lies, but still insist she did not have an affair. Forgive her for what?

The story about the night she spent with a man she said was "just friends" changed four times,along with other brief meetings for 3 more months but she dont care and says I am being mean for asking questions when she gets caught in a lie. Has been over a year now and she says to just forgive her and let it go , while she insist she did nothing wrong at all and not even try to acknowledge the lies. Why would anyone keep lieing when its so obvious ? Why for so long ? Do most people need the truth to be able to forgive and let it go? I feel like I do , but it has nearly driven me crazy. I would give anything to have somthing to forgive her for and accept or the lies explained so I could see she didnt have an affair, if thats possible. Why lie for so long when its so obvious? No details I know . Other than wild guess's doesn anyone know about people like this? Said the cell phone bill was wrong too.

Sue C

You ARE absolutely rite in that IF you are "suppose" to forgive her, WHAT just what are you forgiving her for IF she claims she did "nothing"?! You know darn rite well IF a story changes, that's the very FIRST reason I've ALWAYS believed a story is in fact a lie. All because they cannot remember "for sure" what they told you from the beginning, so one lie to cover another & another, & it gets to the point of just WHAT IS the truth from the very beginning. Just come rite out & tell her that you're sorry, BUT you're really totally confused at this point & she's telling you to "forgive" her, but just what are you forgiving her for? Tell her to think about it all herself, & if she does, then maybe some of the things she's been telling you w/click in her mind too as how ridiculous it all is. She definitely is playing games w/you of some kind & things are getting totally all wound up in a ball of yarn & none of it is making sense. And, what the heck about the "wrong phone bill"?! She's just trying her best to hide things, but is not good at lying & it's all just coming back to hit her square in the face. I would plain & simple ask her to just "fess up" w/EVERYTHING, get it all out on the table so to speak so you both are reading the same book & on the same page. Let her know you've got to get to the simple truth & go from there w/it all. The best to you...:)

luvtochasecows

I agree with #1 poster, but if you tell her that, you have to make it stick. No threats, only promises.

free_angel

Don't expect to ever get the truth from her. She lied to you once and she will lie to you again.

Mainmaster

Tell her she needs to come clean or its over.

Spindrift

Why are you putting up with this? Dump her cheating a$$, she's a skank ho. Divorce her with NO alimony and be glad you know what she is.

romika

yea right. its obvious that she is trying to hide something from you. just tell her to let you know the truth or she can go to where she came from

SAT

She's taking your for a fool dude. Don't let her out that easy. She thinks that all she has to do is say that you are wrong, the phone bill is wrong and all will go away.

Let her know up front that you can not let it go and more importantly than that, you refuse to let it go without her first acknowledging that she lied and she comes clean with the truth.

If she continues with her lies, the next time she goes out, follow her and make an impromptu visit.

By the way; why the heck is she staying with a guy friend over night anyway when she is married to you?

If this happened before you were together, then yes drop it and move on.

monksfriend

Pack her bags. But remember you will be the no good person in court. The man never has his day in court. The poor wife and the husband who is the bully. That is how the courts will look at you. They always blame the husband.

Tommy T

seriously? Why are you wasting your time with her? What a piece of sh*t!

ubu

I was lied to for a very long time. You need a divorce.

Rosessis

she knows she is in the wrong for whatever she has done, now she will never get into exact details cause men don't give details either once they get caught. Evidently this is still eating @ you. So you can stay & keep hearing the same for the Next Year Or you can move on w/your life it's entirely up to you+

Katie P

I understand you love her and you want her to tell you the trueth, well that's never going to happen, she is going to lie to you until the day you leave her,but if you know about her with this guy why would you stay? why would you put yourself through that? I'm sure there are alot of beautiful women out there who would treat you right, stop putting yourself through hell, get rid of her.....hope this helped....

mamamoon

She cannot be sorry if she doesn't even admit that she was wrong. You well at least I couldn't forgive her lying cheating butt....can you?
Yup my ex husband was just like that. He felt if said something did or didn't happen that makes it truth. He also got sick of me getting angry that he was cheating on me....so I kicked his sorryass out and moved on with my life!
Yes I know it's easier said then done but it is better in the long run.

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