Stay at Home Husband - Should I make excuses?

idgaf

My fiance is the same as your husband.. I can afford for him to stay home (I work at home anyhow) and he cooks, cleans, takes care of our puppy, cars, and anything else we need or want to do.. I don't see anything wrong with it.. I know how you feel though.. In the beginning, I would make excuses for why he was at home too, but now I don't care.. If people have something negative to say, it's just because they are jealous that they can't afford to do the same!!!!!!! Don't feel bad or ashamed of your husband!! There is obviously something that he does good that makes it work for you guys if he is staying at home and you are both happy with your situation!! Screw everyone else and enjoy having your man at home!! I love having him home all the time, it's great!! But he also knows he is free to get a job whenever he'd like!!

mable3691214

Tell them he has a job. He is a stay at home husband and let them know how lucky you are to be able to afford it.

MICH

NO...you should not make excuses. I applaude families who can find the thing that works for them and do it...no matter how unorthadox it may seem to some. Happy life!!

born west coast

tell them you married a loser who you out earn 2 to 1.

but he has a 12" personality so you put up with it.

watch their jaws drop.

happygirl

Oh, so you're saying you don't have kids and he just stays at home? I see. Well, usually a spouse stays home to take care of kids. If he isn't taking care of kids, then I can see why people assume he's looking for work.

Just tell them he's retired.

SDS

If you are making excuses for him than you are embarassed.

ANTHONY M

So much for women's lib if people are worried about reversed roles. Didn't most women stay home in the old days and take care of the house. We have come a long way since then, so why is it a problem for a man to assume this role?

Violet Pearl

I'd be embarrassed, frankly, if the man of the house was at home while I was out earning a living. If you're embarrassed and have to make excuses, perhaps it's time to come to terms with how you really feel about this arrangement.

Mamalissa

Make excuses? be embarrassed? Are you crazy! Thank your husband, thank god and enjoy it!!!

As a stay at home mom people ask me the same question "Do you work?" "When are you going back to work?" I ask what their definition of "work" is. If it is earning a paycheck, then no I do not work. I do however have the most important job there is, taking care of my home and my family, it is a 24 hour a day job and although I do not recieve monetary compensation, it is the most gratifying job I have ever had. It is also the toughest job I have ever had. The mental, emotional, and physical demands are grueling and often times seem impossible.

Should you be embarassed? NO WAY!!! You should be proud and thankful and thrilled that you have a husband who is willing to take on the role. Not many men I know can handle it, I know my husband couldn't. The repetetiveness, the lack of adult interaction and converstation, the lack of quiet. Sometimes you feel like you are going to loose your mind and when you catch yourself humming Barney tunes at the grocery store you know that you have! It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination.

It takes two to run a family and a home, one goes out into the world and makes the money and one stays home to run things there, both roles are equally important. Anyone who thinks that it matters which person does which is just plain ignorant and needs no response, those days are long gone. My husband says "I make the living, and my wife makes the living worthwhile"! (actually I think he stole that from Dr. Phil but I'll take it!) So you make the living and your husband makes the living worthwhile! It works either way!

Give your husband a big hug and kiss and say to those who ask, "Aren't I lucky to have a such a wonderful husband!!"

Good Luck!! and God Bless!

Jamezy

Be proud, for all those stay at home moms or dads we all know how hard it is to take care of the child. Don't be embarrassed, they don't know what they are talking about. Being a real dad also takes alot of guts and says alot of him. He is a great husband and dad. He wants to be home with the kid/s and that is a great thing and nothing to be ashamed of..

Lisa

My stock answer would be, "We are doing what is best for our family and we are happy so we must be doing something right, don't you think?"

It is no ones business but your own.

Shy Girl S

I do understand why you feel the need to defend yourself and your husband however, it's working for you and you both are happy with it so, bugger everyone else and their opinions.

The only ones you need to please are yourselves. It's nobody else's business.

I think it is awesome that he stay home and cares for the kids, he is a very good dad, I wish more men would take and interest in there home lives. I apploud him for doing so.

jetskichick25

It is nobody's business. Keep doing what works for you and your family and don't worry about what those other nosey people think.

Alexander

Do not be embarrassed by your husband staying home and taking care of business at the home while you are at work. If you have a PC at home, and if he feels it would be lucrative, he can work from home and make money from the PC, even start a good home-based business. Don't let society dictate to you what your husband should be doing.

elizatash

Absolutely not. There is no need to make excuses. If you and he decided that that is what works best for you, then who cares what anyone else thinks. If anyone else makes the "Oh, when is he going to get a job," comment, you tell them that it is 2007, and they wouldn't bat an eyelash if the situation were reversed and you were the one at home caring for the children, so why should they have issue with a man doing it. You and your husband have my deepest respect and congratulations for being strong enough to go against the norm and do what works best for you.

belle_la_donna

If I cared, I would tell those that ask when he is going to get a job that he has a job; taking care of his children, his home, and his wife. If it makes you feel better, further explain that you and he came to the decision that children fare better at home with a loving parent than they do in sterile child care facilities...and he was the obvious choice to stay home, since he likes to...and you don't .

Or, you could always do the Dorothy Parker thing, look them in the eye, and reply: "why would you ask such a personal question?"

tellthetruth

live your own life if that what you like keep on keeping on be blessed

Colleen O

No reason why you should feel embarassed, when people ask if he is going to get a job tell them he HAS one, taking care of your home. Or tell them that your marriage works with the roles reversed. I know a number of couples who have reveresed their roles.

sheloves_dablues

You don't need to make excuses. But ask yourself this - is having him take care of the house (no kids) worth the lack of income? Not that money is everything, but if you don't have kids, why wouldn't you both work? You'd be able to sock a bunch of money away for a house, vacations, kids, whatever! I suspect that people are curious as to why/how you don't feel like he is "sponging" off you.

If you have kids, and he's a total domestic diva - go for it! Women have been doing this forever - if he's good at it and enjoys it, there is no reason on earth for him not to do it!

Melanie J

Its working for you, than its ok. There are more househusbands out there than you might think. I would tell anyone who asks that you are each doing what you want to do/are good at and that you are happy. Its honestly none of anyone elses's business, but I understand why you might wish to explain it anyway.

Sto telling people he will get a job, they will think he is a loser when the job never appears. Just be honest and unashamed about you and your spouses life choices.

Tactical Medic

it is normal but not common, if it works for ya'll then don't listen to every one else

countrychic

Don't make excuses. If someone asks further, just say, "Well, this is what is best for our family". Just know there's nothing wrong with what you've chosen!

sugarplum

It is none of their freakin business. Don't make excuses--what goes on in your home stays in your home.

bestadviceever

I think it is fantastic, embrace it and be proud of yourself, you are the bread winner!

HelloPeeps

As long as you are comfortable with him staying at home then I wouldn't worry... However it is typical for people to frown on men being the homemaker because most all of us grew up with our father having the job and the wife staying home to rear children and do housework.. If you are making excuses for him then you feel like there is something wrong with the situation... If there are no children involved and he is not handicap then there is no reason for him to stay at home.... Two incomes are always better than one honey.

wildlifer

You rock on! If it works for you guys - then go with it. Though I know what you mean about people and their petty comments and thoughts - they do get to you sometimes. But just remind yourself that it works for you and no I wouldn't make excuses. We are in the 21st century - people need to get with it!
BTW - I am in a similar situation, I work full time and my husband went back to college and doesn't work so he can focus on school. We both know that it is right for us and it is working - but we get comments too. It is annoying!

Adina B

don't make any excuses it is what it is and if you guys are happy that way then let me be who cares what everyone else says. but if it does bother you and you want your hubby to find a job and wonder when he will get one, then i say you talk to him and let him know about the way you feel and talk him into going to find a job or at least go back to school. but other then that if your happy then don't let other people bother you with what they say, you live your life the way you want to not the other way around.

jkhtown07

A man is responsible to provide for his family. Your situation, while convenient now, will not work in the long run.

presleygirl

God said a man who doesnt provide for his family is worse than a non believer and God doesn't mean porvide the bed being made, he needs to get out and work for a living, you will regret this, when he gets fat, watches tv all day and will never go to work, even of you lose your job, you are starting a very bad habit, dont tell me he isnt on the internet, you must be very desperate to have a man in your life. if you ever get a divorce the judge will force you to pay spousal support or alimony, even though you are with another man. He's akept man, and evn when you do GET STRESSED OUT- YOU WILL NOT ADMIT IT, HE IS LOSING HIS MASCULINITY.

ahhchoooo

No because most women would envy that.. Be proud to have a manwife

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