Terrible night of fighting?

Last night I was on the computer checking something about my school. My fiance, who is 45, was out of the house, and I noticed a strange email address, anyway, it was a yahoo, and it showed it was his, because I didn't even get on the computer that day and he had had been on it for a couple of hrs while I was at work. He came walking in and got really angry cuz I was sitting in the office in the dark, I told him I was checking up on him and he got very angry. He also drinks and he had been drinking last night. He pretends he doesnt even hardly know how to use a computer and then accuses me of chatting online (which I only bought the computer for school). To make a long story short, he cursed me, called me names, started hitting me in the back of the head several times, and pushed, flung lit cigarette ashes on me, and called me every name in the book and told me to get out. All the while keeps telling me to admit why I was on the computer, I said "spying on you, then he proceeds to tell
Additional Details
me that he hates me, and doesnt love me and that he never has. He always tells me this and the worst meanest things when he argues. He called me terrible names, a B, S, W, and fat, and I have even lost 60lbs in the past 4 months. He has hurt me so bad so many times. In his previous marriage, he even got caught talking online and even met a couple of women. Last week we got into an argument and he become very physical. He had stopped drinking and has started back and has started with physical violence. He then always turns his words around like he did last night to make it be my fault. He even said his dad and sister said I was caught red handed which I was not! We are not married and do not have any children together. What in the world is going on with this man? He is 45 yrs old and I'm 36! Help!!!

Sophiesmom

Why are you even bothering with this guy...Run far, far away from him.

Queen of Beer

Leave him ASAP. Why would you let a man hit you in the head? That's a sign of future beatings! Get out now!

USMC Wife, Pit Bull Mama

leave him, it's only going to get worse.

ndnqt1966

I sure hope you are leaving this man....He is controlling, abusive, a liar, and apparently a cheater....

Messykatttt

Violence is a dealbreaker.

End it today.

It never gets better, nor does the drinking.

you're marrying this loser?

good luck with that.

lisagreen1119@sbcglobal.net

Get off the computer. Pack your things. Leave. Don't leave a note. Don't talk to him. Just go. It won't be easy, but you need to get away from him. Do not talk to him. If you do, he will apologize and tell you how much he loves you. Don't be an idiot and believe him. Any man who would strike you, regardless of his "reason" is abusive, and probably cheating on you. He reacted that way because you were honest enough to tell him you were checking up on him. If you felt like you needed to check up on him, you probably do.

melouofs

I'd never have anything more to do with him. He's an abuser.

Chris

he is not a nice guy, get rid of him as soon as possible, find someone that will make you happy, and worship the ground you walk on, i would not DREAM of doing anything like that to my girlfriend

iffbiff

Wow, I would get out of their so fast my wheels would spin. No man will ever raise a hand to me in that fashion. My dad hit me now and then, and one time almost broke my nose. I made a contract with myself that if I saw any violent tendancies in my fiance I would warn him that I would leave. But if he all out hit me and then verbally abused me? Screw him, he's so gone.
Just think of any potential children. How would he treat them if he beats you?
On top of that he's a potential alcoholic? What on earth do you see in him?
Please move on, the love you feel isn't mutual here. He'll say he's sorry and want to do anything to fix it but it WILL happen again and it may just get worse and worse until you're in the hospital or dead.

He is transferring guilt onto you it sounds like. If I was you I would be thankful that you are only engaged and not married to the psycho. He is abusive, that is completely irrational and abusive behavior, if he told you to get out, then get your stuff and run.

BostonCollin28

Leave that jacka*s now and get to a safe place.

cobots

time for you to leave him

michelle

sounds like he's hiding something if he reacted like that!! that is not healthy at all, you need to elave him, he's too old to change now. he doesnt respect you and that is hard to regain!!

Just curious

No hitting allowed. I would leave. Violence is not acceptable in my book.

julie s

Leave him now!!

Alicia S

I dont think any woman should have to go through that so yuo should leave him cause i bet you dont want that to happen again? do you? I dont know why some guys think they can treat women like rag dolls, that makes me very mad!

~!(3B()X~

um...leave...that's the best advice I can give you..no one deserves to be treated that way

Ali V

From experience, this just sounds like its gonna get worse. Leave him. No one should be treated like that no matter what they may or may not have done. His reaction is also very telling - what's he so guily about??

lovinlife

He told you to get out, are you packed yet? The abuse will continue and get worse! Run for your life!

AgeofAquarius31

What exactly do you need help with?! LEAVE his sorry butt! And, don't bait someone like that; you must have known he's violent, before last night, but you deliberately say things that you know will set him off? That could get you killed, seriously... Get out, and don't bother to CARE what he's doing, online, or in real life... Be smart, and GO!!

Electric Blue

Why are you even posting this question? Have you not read all the other posts regarding abuse?

You didn't need to tell the whole book.

Did he hit you? Yes.

THEN LEAVE!

*

Marcee M

Sounds like a guilty man. Could it have been that you Were invading his privacy? I guess I'd like to know how you would feel if he had been checking up on you?

dreamweaver

This is a bad abusive relationship and if you feel the need to check up on him and there is hitting involved and you two cant trust each other break up and go on with your life

pegetto

you need to leave hime ASAP...

even if you may have been the one that started the argument (not saying you did) he still should not be getting that violent. especially if you guys are only engaged. there are MUCH better men out there, and believe me, you can get one.

Sue B

Why are so many couples fighting, hurting, and leaving each other because of a damn computer and the damn internet??????????

Time to decide what is real and important people!! We lived without a damn computer i our lives for years! Why not just go to work or to the library and use them and save our damn relationships??

Never put up with a person who "hits".

daphine_h

Imagine yourself spending rest of your days in this situation. Are you sure you can? Women see the signs long before they decide to marry a guy. Don't ignore the signs. I know that telling you to leave him is out of the question. So counseling seems to be your best option to get to the root of each of your issues. Please don't become another statistic.

star69

What do you need help with? I can call you a taxi if you like...

Dont try and understand him, you're beginning to be caught up in his games, you need to step back and see the wood for the trees. At the moment its like you're studying one tree really close up....

The bigger picture is that he's nasty violent and cruel to you. Who cares what he's up to or whether he believes what you've been up to, you're letting yourself be a victim of bullying. Who cares what he tells his sister, what is she to you compared to bruises and burns???
You've lost weight for him so when he calls you fat you can say, "but Ive lost weight for you" the point is you have done it so he stops punishing you. Did he ever have the right to punish you in the first place? No.
Listen. You KNOW he's lying and being unfair to you. That's the bottom line. He's beig an ar.se. You mustnt get into the argument with him thathe's being unfair etc, you'll never win it as he's making up the rules as he goes along. And the punishments.
Stop being a victim and leave him NOW.

six7foru

Definitely, DO NOT marry the idiot!!!

talschevy

Anytime, there is physical violence involved, you need to go! Alcohol doesn't help matters! This will not be the last time he does this! Regardless, of what you did, he does not have the right to abuse you in anyway. There is no way of coming back from crossing that line!

If you do decide to leave, get a restraining order to keep him away. Men like this do not like to be rejected. They confuse violence with love.

Please, leave! Let me know how everything turns out.

hi! i'm harmless!

first off, his dad and sister need to butt out. this man is a punk woman beater. leave him now and find a man who will respect you. this man has issues and needs professional help. i was married to a abusive man who always brought his family into our business. this man just got worse over time. sometimes it's just better to be alone.

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