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enzuigiriuk
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I am 12 years younger than my lady .. the age is irrelevant .. it is the age of the personality that counts.
Of course he is sensitive about it .. he is the older man and as such feels threatened that you will want to 'live 30-40 again with a man your own age' ...
The point is you cant leave a relationship based on 'how you might feel' .. I dont think any of us are enlightened enough to know that .. you need to sit down and think how you feel NOW. If you want to stay then stay .. if you want to go then go .. but you must reconcile yourself one way or the other otherwise your indecision and subsequent concern WILL start to impact the currrent relationship ..
Good luck with a very hard choice ;) |
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firenice
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if he treats you well and you are in love with him...go to counseling and see if you can work it out. if you are not in love...end it now - both of you will only become miserable because your heart won't be in it and that is more unfair than leaving... |
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hahahahahahaha
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yes sooner the better |
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longneck242002
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You worry too much about age I would say. Stick it out if you care for each other. |
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Princess
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you need to go to counselling to deal with your insecurity. |
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sinned
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as an older man, i surely see both sides of the coin. you need to reassure him that it is not his fault. no way will he accept this, you knew going in about the age difference. he did not suddenly age 14 years. |
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giftfromgod
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Sounds like you will be cutting off your nose to save your face. |
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canguroargentino
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What is it you want to do that you can't do with him? Leaving only means starting again from scratch: finding "the one" (two in your case), getting to know him, getting to know his secrets, getting to know his bad habits, arguing about them, getting over them, working all day, all week to pay the bills, getting angry at his bills, him getting angry at yours, talking about children, agreeing to disagree, fighting, breaking up, getting back together, compromising, and back to work! It'll be all the same with just a different shade of grey.
Think it through all the way- don't just think about U- that's why having kids is so highly recommended- less egoism! |
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Ba S
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hah i'd love to help you with this one, but i struggle with my own relationships and am in no situation to give you advice...
relationships are evil evil stuff...
you leave him, you'll probably regret it in no time...
you stay with him.... you'll be curious for ever...
human nature always wants what they can't have...
now with that said... it's up to you... look deep down and ask what you want
don't stay with someone because you feel guilty *pff i'm really no one to talk there*
if your not happy or wanting out it will bring on more fights and more jealousy and he may not even know why but you will
so what i'm saying in a round about way is
you either have to Be Happy, and figure out why you married him in the first place and Love Him
or you have to leave him even tho it will be difficult... because having that... can't think of the word... animosity?? against him will not be healthy |
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Mit
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Okay. Then leave.
Do me a favor when you leave take the things you came with and let the man keep everything else.
He deserves that at least |
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chunkybaby
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being that i am with an older man ill tell you its better to let him know rather than pretend everything is okay |
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seaside_girl_03
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What is it about the age difference that actually bothers you... if it that you can't bear the thought of being seen in public with someone who is showing signs of ageing then leave him for his own good so he can find someone that truely cares about him. If its about looking after him cos he'll be elderly and unwell before you well, who knows what could happen, any of us can become ill or injured at any time. If its because you don't think you'll want to lead the same lifestyle think about whats changed since you got together, you must enjoy some similar things and why do you think this will change in the future? Its a tough decision but really only you can make it. |
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heatherlynnmorrow
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Wow, thats deep honey. My husband is 12 years older than me...He's 38 and I'm 26 at the end of this month. The age difference doen't bother me at all but I have thoughts just like you but I don't freak out. Age does not define who we are. You are as old as you act/feel whatevever. I would say stay with him because you have no basis for leaving. Unless you find yourself attracted to guys more your age/younger. Then you have a slight problem. But you mentioned nothing of that. You said you love eachother so I think you should try to stick it out but definetly talk about your fear/issues with your husband. Maybe he is feeling the same way. Ya never know....Good luck! |
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jaredsmommy2004
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No where do you mention that you no longer love him in this question, and the only factor that I am reading into is the age difference. A person age doesn't change the person inside and whom you married. Maybe you should seek counseling first before deciding on such a drastic end of a marriage. To me, leaving a marriage because of a age difference is not justified. You were fully aware when you married him how old he was and as well as to who the person was inside that was standing in front of you when you said I do.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel |
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live2ride
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The feeling likely isn't going to go away, and since you didn't say anything about loving him, clearly you should not stay in a loveless marriage out of pity or concern for him. That wouldn't be fair to either of you. |
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hebe935
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Wow! You have to ask yourself if you love him or if you are in love with him. Because there is a big difference! I believe if you are truly in love with a person age doesn't matter. But your both peoples needs have to be met also. You could be going through a kinda mid life crisis too. Just ask yourself if you are truly in love with him and couldn't live without him. Then you will have your answer. I mean, it's not really fair to the other person if we cant give them our whole heart and soul if they are giving that to us. Just do a little soul searching. You have to do what will make you truly happy. Good luck with this! |
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I_C_Y_U_R
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What does ‘marriage’ mean to you?
Does ‘till death us do part’ or ‘for the rest of our lives’ mean anything to you?
I’m bloody glad I never married you.
I’m 55... I guess you would have ‘traded me in’ by now!!!
Do you realise that to a lot of young people, 36 is old !!!
How does that make you feel? Do you feel old???
I’m 55... But I don’t feel old.
If young people want to believe I am old, then that’s fine.
I guess when I get to be 80, they’ll think I am ancient.
But as far as I’m concerned, I’ll still be young, and God willing, I’ll still be loving my wife!!!
Your husband may be 44 years old, but don’t you for one moment think that he can’t attract women who are younger than you.
There are an awful lot of men his age who are going with women who are half your age.
So if you want to think that he is too old for you, then perhaps you need to think again!!!
You asked if you should leave while he is still young enough to get on with his life.
I reckon you should leave him… as a favour to him.
Because if ‘marriage’ means that little to you, then he would be a damn side better without you!!!
Get out of the marriage… and when you turn 50, 60, 70, and you don’t have anyone looking after you… you just take a moment to remember the love you threw away, and that man who should’ve been by your side, loving you for the rest of your life!!! |
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Sarah
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i think that you should express your feelings with your husband. tell him that you are a bit confused at the time. if he loves you he will understand. try to go to a marriage counselor to talk about the problems...don't just leave because of the thought that you two are seperated by an age difference. just try to get some extra help from family members, friends, and your husband. don't go through this by yourself. |
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Sali
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The difference in age will never be the reason for a broken relationship, sometimes partners have difficulties coping together even if they are the same age, having a sensible man who is caring and giving you love is a fortune you might regret it if you leave him, no one can gurantree happiness, it depends on the person not the age. |
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Sarcastic Sid
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I don't mean to make you feel guilty' But think about this' 1 day u will be old and not as attractive as maybe u are now. How would u feel if you knew he was thinking this way about you? You need help. More than we can give here. |
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dnlrawson
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I always say you`re only as young as the woman you`re feeling. He`s probably thinking the same as you, worrying over the age difference. Stop fretting and sit him down and have a good talk to him and get the situation straightened out once and for all. Just remind yourself why you are with him in the first place and it should all be right from there. |
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daisymae
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I'm not trying to sound mean, but you want to leave this man because he was BORN before you? And somehow not having any children together should be a factor? I am 49, not that old, and you are not that young. Not so young that you didn't understand that being married was forever, not until you got bored. You know older men happen to treat women with great respect, unlike younger guys. Did your husband get any flack about marrying a gal as young as you? I bet he didn't even care, if that was the case, because he loves you so much that nothing anyone says matters. Do you love and respect your husband so much that you would be empty without him in your life? Would you be living the rest of your life without your best friend in it? Would you hurt him SO bad by leaving that you couldn't do that, and you'd rather stay and save him from that pain because you love him that much? Or are you just worried that he's fourteen years older than you and he wouldn't give you a hard time if you went? if thats the case...GO. He really loves you. |
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freeman3905@sbcglobal.net
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good true love is hard to find now days you must have loved him at one point stop thinking of you . you will be better off with him the age is in your head stop the age thing and go on with your life and start loving the good man you have that loves you vary much for the rest of your life and not leave you if you get sick or can't work don't hurt the one you love and the one that loves you thanks good luck to you |
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Caro
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I think you are looking for an easy way out, hoping people here will tell you what to do, leaving him because of an age gap is shallow and you know it, if you do not love him then thats a different matter.
I think the best thing you can do is sit down and talk to your husband.
"Never hurt the heart that loves you"
Good Luck with whatever you choose to do. |
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Issabella
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Every marriage has its challenges...you have to focus on the things that are positive and try to minimise the age gap. Marriage is not about being selfish but about shaping two lives into one. It seems to me that you care for him and he for you....don't throw that away. Take a long breath and love what you have...you will see the special blessing if you look for it.
And remember, time flies quickly...in a few years the age gap will seem much smaller again... |
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wrong_bananas
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Love, comfort and security are the only important things. If you receive all of these things then the age shouldn't matter. There are 11 years between me and my boyfriend and I wouldn't change him for the world. |
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mclamb63
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Do you love your man? What about the marriage vows--for better or worse. Look at it this way,put yourself in his shoes. Now, do you still feel the same way? |
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cheetah7
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I'd normally suggest to someone to leave their spouse if their spouse was cheating on them...but an age gap? Wow, come on. It's not like u didn't know he was 14 yrs older than u when u first decided to give your vows to him and now lately u are somehow feeling that age gap and wanting to bail? Personally I feel it's a very shallow reason because I don't know what it is that's bothering u about it. If u said that he treats u well and thinks the world of u and u knowing it would break his heart if u left, then I would say u are being really unfair.
This is just my opinion and it is still up to u to decide what u want but at least think about it a million times more before u make a decision because every choice comes with consequences. |
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chigirl
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my ANS is WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL YOU ARE YOUNG, FACE THE THRUTH U 36 AND DATS CLOSE TO 40 AND U KNOW IT MEANS WHEN U 40 A WOMAN'S LIFE ENDS, I SUGGEST U HANG ON WITH HIM COS OUTSIDE FROM HIM BELVE ME NO MAN WILL APPERICATE THAT MUCH DOOD LUCK |
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MC
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You say you love each other,have a good relationship...so what's the problem? Age is but a number, it should not be that big of a factor, and as for kids your 30 it's time to do it or forget it! |
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