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johntadams3
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If he has made threats -- and it looks like he has -- you should move to your new apartment while he isn't home.
Once you're there, get a protective order to keep him away from you.
Since you're a nurse, it may be possible to change your shift, which would make it more difficult to follow you home from work.
Good luck. |
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Amy
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Just pack up and leave one day and send the divorce papers to his residence. If he tries to find you, call the police. Don't find an excuse to go back to your old place (take everything with you when you leave) and only tell people you really trust where you live. And I mean really, really close friends or family. If he's abusive and really wants to find you, he'll ask around and may even resort to violence to get information from people he thinks may know something. |
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scarlett_bytch
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On my last B/F that beat me all the time I would always leave while he was at work.. thats the best and most safest way to do it. Make sure he won't get off early... B4 he leaves act like there is nuttin wrong an that nuttin unusual is goin on....Or he might leave for a min... Give him time to get to work and then make up a reason to call him as if..were did u put the bread or sumthin that u no he may think that he wouldve misplaced... that way u no he is there and not just drivin round.. God please becareful! Thats a hard thing to get of... As soon as u leave with all your stuff don't leave no trace... Change all addy's tell no one were u live not even ur mom he could trick her or ne body in to givin u up Pllease do it fast an careful |
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Rawrrrr
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I think that you should get a restraining order on him and make sure you are reporting all his threats to the police. Moving out while he is at work and/or having a police escort there with you would be a good thing. If he flips out then the cop can see whats going on and your claims will be validated. |
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I'm just me
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NO. Chances are good, he's only bluffing, but guys like that, sweetie, they're mentally unbalanced and you never know what they're really capable of until they do it. And I haven't read any of your other posts, but if he's abusive to you now, I wouldn't put it past him. DO NOT tell him where your apartment is. Move out while he's at work, do not tell anyone who might tell him. Do not underestimate him.
ps: I like the police escort idea. That's a very very good idea. It never hurts to be TOO safe. |
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tearsNheaven
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as a woman who went through that
what you need to do is dont tell him your plains /just do what you need to do change jobs and also CALL THE COPS when he threatens you
you do not have to tolerate anything from HIM at all
if possible move in with someone else (not saying another man) just a person needing a room mate or your parents or siblins
he wants to rule and he wants you scarede so dont get weak and dont let him make you weak |
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goldwing
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you did not move far enough, I can tell you that. You need a restraining order immediately, move immediately. ..you are in an unsafe position..this guy is nutsoid, and you know it. Good luck |
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juslookin
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That would probably be the best way to do it. Make sure you make the move when he might not be expecting it as much.You should also go and talk with the local police about what he has said to you, see what they tell you to do. They take these threats pretty serious now because many women have gotten hurt by their husbands because the police failed to do enough. Let them know the day and the location you are moving to, and ask that they do an occasional drive by to see that things are OK. good luck |
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hotkitten152
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Talk to your local police..see if they can have an escort to protect you ,while you move. Don't tell him you are moving. And stop having him think you're scared/need him. That is part of the intimidation.Take only what you need(important documents,photos) so he won't miss much. Have someone stay with you. Good luck. |
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hell_gate_boyz
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don't tell him at all just pack your stuff and leave asap. if he stock u get a pfa. |
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whom
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if you really wanna leave -- you would of left long time ago -- something is stopping you -- if your gonna do it just leave while he's at work or when he leaves for something -- but make sure thats what you want and not what your family wants! |
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arelente2
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moving out when he's at work?
Disrespect. Do you want him to be more, furious and hunt you down?
Theres no other way than telling him the truth right? If you want to break-up in a matter without any regrets then you just tell him straight and leave also if you want, you can have a freind with you but then your freind musnt be interfering with your quarrels (well, just in case)
let's face it, you cant avoid angry and crying hearts at theese kind of situations |
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belleville
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I would contact a good lawyer before you do anything else. In most case in abuse you can have him removed form the home. Or you can move and have him served papers the same day with order of protection. Anyone with life threats must take them serious and report them ASAP. Stalking is a federal offense these days . and violation of the restraining Order is jail time
I would let family members know and be safe at all times . |
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nanny2
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Get a protection order against him and move when hes not home. |
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jc1959
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let the police tell him look for the gun and give it to the police and get a restraining order on him and fast. but you will have to move from that town and fast and not let him know where you live. Take him to court first. |
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starship1239
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dont tell him just write a letter and leave thats all u can do he crazy
i dont take the answers that u dont want it and he cant deal wiv it
just go when the day comes and at like u love him |
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mimi
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in this situation I would leave the entire state and not give a forwarding address. go start NEW somewhere far from him. don't file for divorce..abandonment is sufficient here. dear GOD. don't work in the same place..he knows where you are. just move when he's not home and do not be close to him. move as far away as possible and don't let any of your friends know where you went. he'll go to them and harrass them as well. he sounds sick. |
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tdm1175
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That's what I went through. I moved out on my husband while he was at work and told his friends a fake apartment address at the other of town so he wouldn't find me. Then I got an order of protection from the justice courts as the police can't issue one only courts. Your address will be known to your husband by the p.o. as he has to know where to stay away from. If he violates the order he goes to jail. Good luck. I hope you everything works out for you. |
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helixburger
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You need someone who he is scared of to have a "quiet chat" with him, to change his version of reality.
I am quite serious.
Tell him no more, you told him too much already. He is not "hubby" anymore. Your next bf had better be ready.
You are property to him. |
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dlmrgnk
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Look, don't fool around with this nutcase. Don't even THINK about giving him notice. Don't tell him anything. In fact, you'd be much safer to move into a women's shelter for a time before going to the apartment. Do that even if it's inconvenient for your work. Get the protective order before hand. Alert the police that you are going to move and follow the suggestions of the folks at the women't shelter. |
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chancesare45
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Emotional abuse is hard and I feel for you. I had the same problems I walked around my house for a year wondering what to take and setup a new life. These are the things I came up with, Pictures memories, my degrees, all my financial information,Make sure you have your own credit setup, Have a lawyer, Cash, I had separated all the checking and Savings accounts years ago and the same goes with the credit cards. My ex got me out of the house by calling the police and saying she felt threaten now she is trying to get things that I took even though I paid for everything I took. Oh and I left the marriage debt free. Because of her vindictive personality its now going on three years in the process of divorce |
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AUTUMNSUNCATCHER
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Definitely do it while he is at work, but be aware, because my aunt's husband had a friend and neighbor of his watching their house to let him know if he saw moving trucks or strange activity. So, make sure you dial the local police, so you can just hit redial if he shows up. Also, don't take anything of his when you go, just your stuff. Oh, and definitely get the protective order if he has abused you in the past, what's to stop him now?I have heard of people getting the man served divorce papers at work, this is a bad idea, because it just embarrasses him and enrages him more. After you have moved your stuff out, just leave him a note telling him you have gone. Make sure to tell your employer what is going on in case he makes trouble at your job, so they can be prepared. Hope this helps, and lots of luck to you. |
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sally
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Tell him in a public place and not alone. You need to protect yourself because he could react or blow up. Don't do it by yourself. Definitely move while he is at work and bring some friends with you. If he is violent, it might be a good idea to get the police to come with you. Let all your family know when you are going to move. |
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chandrasanyal
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YOU ALREADY HAVE THE APPARTMENT. MAKE SURE THAT IT IS SECURE. DO NOT TELL HIM THE ADDRESS. ONE FINE DAY TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE LEAVING FOR GOOD, NOT AT HIS PLACE OR YOURS AND LEAVE FOR THIS NEW PLACE WHEN YOU ARE SURE HE IS NOT AROUND. HAVE A GOOD LAWYER TO ASSIST YOU. TELL HIM AND MOVE OUT WHEN HE IS AT WORK, AFTER 1/2 DAYS OF TELLING HIM. |
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sinned
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if he has been abusive, you should be able to get a no contact order. make sure you always have friends with you. and leave when he doesn't expect yo to. |
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puertoricout
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you've already told him your moving out plenty of times, just do it when he's not around but dont tell him when... in fact dont even mention it anymore... take the day off when your new apartment is available and just do it. once your in your new place get a retstraining order. that will keep him away from your new place and at work. if he comes around after that call the cops. |
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Ricky Lee
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you need a restraining oder against him, and be sure you let your family know whats going on. (GOOD LUCK) |
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â?¥ Sexyatsunrise â?¥
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I wouldn't even know how to begin to handle that situation. So I'm not exactly providing an answer for this question but what I am going to say is Good Luck to you and God Bless. I will keep you in my prayers that you make a safe move.
Take Care!! |
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twinsmakesfive
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Girlfriend don't tell him just move out and I would get a restraining order as soon as you were moved out if not the day you move out. I have been there and done that. I would also talk to the Police and explain the situation and they will be more then happy to be there while you move your things out if he is going to be there. I would wait till he was gone and leave him a letter. Also Domestic Violence Intervention in your area are very helpful and can help you get a restraining order at no cost to you and will be with you for the process and after. I know the one in my area helped me and we are still close. I truly wish you the best. I have enclosed the link for the National coalition against domestic violence and they will be Abel to direct you to a office in your area. |
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FireHorse
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I haven't seen the other question you refered to --- you mentioned that you are in an abusive relationship, you should have filed a police report for those incidences. That way, if anything really awry happens because of your husband there is a case history available.
With regards to the threats, put your own number on speed dial and call yourself on your cell when you talk to your husband and leave the voicemail on so that it records your conversation. You can then record your voicemail onto tape and make several copies stored in several locations (1 at home, 1 at work, 1 with a friend etc)
With regards to moving out, you should have started with a change of job so that your husband do not know where to wait for you when you get off your work to go home.
Then you should just move out when he is not around.
You might also install some security cameras inside and outside your new apartment (there are some inexpensive ones available).
Get to know your new neighbors and if you're comfortable with one or two of them let them know your situation and ask them to call the police if they hear any disturbance inside your apartment. |
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