To all the wives out there...?

April

If this isn't the first time it's happened and you have talked to him about his behavior and he simply refuses to change, then you are not overreacting. If you didn't communicate with him about it at all and out of nowhere said, "that's it, I'm leaving", I'd say you are over reacting.

I hope you realize though that flying home to "punish" him may not get the reaction you expect. He may not feel enough remorse to just fix things on his own and expect you to come home when things are better. Any problem in marriage, no matter whose fault it is, needs to be worked on by both partners if things are going to get better. If you are going to run away from your problems and expect them to solve themselves, it's not going to happen.

If you are doing this because you genuinely are thinking about leaving him and need some time to decide, then your decision wasn't irrational.

jewels

Take it from an Alcoholics wife. GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!!! you are not overacting at all.

daljack -a girl

I can't image my husband doing any of that....but if he did I would leave him until he got some help.

e2track

You are not overreacting, especially if this is not the first time it has happened. Your husband needs help. Apparently, he doesn't know his limits. I would suggest you talking him into getting some help--maybe he should stop drinking all together.

monique_065

Get out you deserve better.

loving 40+

he'd be replacing my couch with one better than the last.

he'd have to get some help with his problem, because the frequency of these nites with the boys can change to more, thus making the situation worse and ruining our marriage. i'd do what i can to assist and be supportive however, he must be of the understanding and desire to improve himself to restore our relationship. if he isn't willing to do that, then unfortunately i'd have to love him from a distance.

freinds F

he peed himself on the couch? was it on purpose like a perverse thing? ro was it bcuz he is an alcoholic and did it during a blakc out?? either way id make him get helop and if not id dump him

Susan R

Sounds like he needs to grow up, and you need to get a real man!

Live_For_Today

For starters I would be making him clean it up and wash what ever needed to be washed. As for over reacting depends on how often he does this. If its every week I would be giving him an ultimatum and saying he either cleans up his behaviour or you may start to look elsewhere, as you are not going to be put through this every week. Cheers and good luck.

Mary O

Leave him and stay gone you can find someone else that won't chose to be with his friends over his wife.

Simply Lovely

I would not be married to such a person to begin with. I would suggest putting plastic on the furniture.

Kitten Hood

I'd say he can sleep in that mess till he gets his lazy butt to AA.

Sexah Mamma :)

WOW...If my husband came home like that it would leavesoo much doubt in my head as to what else went on...and if he chose to sleep on the couch and wet himself Id be pretty perturbed.Id most likely tell him exactly how I feel in the nicest possible way and see what changes from there. MK

be3kidz

The next time he goes out to do that with his friends, change the locks while he's gone, he'll learn when he's sleeping outside!

duckygrl21

Are we talking like he's an alcoholic or he occasionally goes out and gets drunk with friends? How old is he? Have you discussed his drinking? Running away (which is essentially what you're doing) won't solve things. Marital problems don't get fixed with the "dump him" attitude most on here are giving you. Is it worth it to walk away from him without trying? You've gotta weigh the pros and cons here. Best of luck.

princessfionafantasy

he has *except the peeing part*
and he realized it was a mistake. so i just gave him the slient treatment for awhile!

scott_v1963

wow, did that one time...but wife and i were out together and it was a hotel bed...

...if its a one time thing, no worries.

Sailor's Wife

I would totally remind him of that night and take pictures. But if this happens constantly like it seems to be, I would talk to him about, and if it still happens, you have to do what you have to do.

Carmen S

I would make him buy me a new couch.

Nananina

You're not overreacting. Your hubby needs some intervention. Get a hold of a pamphlet entitled "AM I AN ALCOHOLIC" and leave it someplace where he can read it. Ask him if he thinks he might need some help (a detox) and help him get to one.

West Aussie Chick

Hmmm...My sisters Ex used to do that all the time. Still does with his new girlfriend apparently. Dirty so and so. She ended up kicking him out as he peed on her in bed a few times and she realised he had an alcohol problem..

mommyneya

I dont know.. It depends on how often this happens. Id certainly make him clean it up himself though!

vis

omg.. i thought i was the only wity this prombem. but mine is a bf.. and he dont go out with freinds.. stress makes him act that way..i try to understand but some times i cant..but i am not going to give up on him because i love him.. search your for the answer

WORKING OLDER SMARTER BLONDE

i sure would make sure my ticket went only one way and you left this looser. get a lawyer and get everything you can get.

sweettart29646

personally, id make him bye me a new couch each time he did that and then maybe then itd stop! but id definatly get another couch out of it!

chicago floater

lol yo hubby peed on the chair. i hope he doesnt poop his pants too or we will havta get him adult diapers

That's what my grandma had to put up with ,and she also had to clean up his feces when he was older and was so drunk he wet and soiled his clothes the house and everything .He has now passed away.But she said it was hell and if she had to live her life over again she would not have married an alcoholic.

Squiddy

You aren't overreacting-he sounds like a serious alcoholic-get out while you can.

Alicia B

I would be pretty irritated myself. Especially if you have children in the house. But, even without children this is no way to treat your wife, very disrespectful. I could understand if it was just a once in a blue moon thing where he and his buddies got together for a ball game or something, but this sounds like it happens more than once in a blue moon, so no, I dont think you are over reacting.

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