To those who have been in an abusive relationship...????

lyzz115

It's only going to get worse. I am speaking from experience. He needs major anger counseling, and you both need marriage counseling. Please seek help ASAP! Don't feel frightened to call the police. Call them if you feel like your life is in danger, please.

Roy Sencio

get help quick, its only going to get worse

Saddam Hussein

Yes it will get worse the arguing is the beginning stage then comes pushing and then hitting, if you hit him he will likely hit you soonner than he would have, it is called teh cycle of abuse and he will also beat you childern if you have any later.

Good luck

Mrs. Pierzynski

It will get worse. Verbal abuse is worse than physical. Get out sweetie, you deserve better.

Cornell is Hot!

well you have 2 choices........

stick around and pray he don't kill you.

or get the hell out!

i hauled *** myself!

Lynn

It's not going to get any better and it's just going to keep getting worse. Don't put up with it. I'm sure that you can't be happy like this and every sixty seconds you spend unhappy is a minute of happiness that you can never get back.

Rachel C

get out and get out now. if he is shoving you soon he will be hitting and then he will kill you or put you in a coma. get out. there are programs to help abused women. GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

boozer

It's only going to get worse, get out now!! I know you probably have some feelings for this man, but you life will be miserable.

gypsy g

It may not get worse,but it will never stop, especially when he doesn't think that he's done anything wrong.
But do you really think pushing and shoving ISN'T physical abuse? I'm going to inform you....IT IS!!!!!
I've been there, once they get to this point there is no help for them, leave before you find out that it can get worse.

www.drirene.com Its a cheeky looking website but it has great information about different types of abuse, the signals, the signs, and most of all, no matter what it isn't your fault. Its only your fault if you stay and continue to let it happen. It helped me.

one_goofy_devil

GET OUT NOW!! if it starting at verbal abuse and has escalated to shoving.. its only a matter of time before it turns into beating you... he needs to get some help

Penny

I have been in your shoes before. The abuse starts out small, such as pushing and shoving, but then it gets worst. He is testing you right now to see how much you will allow him to get away with. It will get worst so if I were you I would leave. You need to let him know you refuse to put up with any kind of abuse...verbal or physical.

good luck!

Jessica T

As someone who has been there, it usually only gets worse. If he is denying any wrong doing in the matter then he probably thinks treating you that way is fine and will keep doing so as long as you let him.

Scott M

get out, get out now, i dose not get better. the longer you stay the harder it willl be to get away from him.

aneta

its gonna get worst and i wouldnt stay with someone like that

jt mom

Is he drunk when he is pushing you? If so, it is likely he may not remember it. Either way, he is abusive, needs help and you need to get away.

Free spirit

OH my god!!! That is physical abuse!!

He does not need to literally hit you to call it physical abuse

This will only get worse. If you have kids you don't want them to think that this is ok.

Your spirit will die slowly if you stay in this marriage
I can understand once done in anger, but not agian and agian. He is controlling and very dangerous. Get out now!!!!

mhireangel

It will only get worse, if you don't want to leave him have him go to an anger managment class. But I suggest you get out.

allley

i would getout because it's not worth it ihave been in an emotionally abusive relaionship for years and just now accepting it i am trying tomove on believe me it killing your spirit .while you have the chance move on.

mama_cheeky

It's going to get worse, trust me on this one. Leave while you can. The damage that can do to your mental health is extreme and the recovery from mental/verbal abuse I think can sometimes be harder than the physical abuse. Don't let the damage get that bad. And get out. At ANY expense.

blue eyes

Sounds like abuse to me. Verbal and emotional and it's not going to stop there. Get a marriage counselor, if your marriage is worth saving. If not, get out NOW, before it is too late!

crappiekat1

Apparently he abuses you because you can't think for yourself. Any idiot knows that abuse only escalades.If you don't understand this it means .GET OUT BEFORE YOU DIE!!!

J_Mama

definitely seek help now, call an abuse hotline, talk to SOMEONE, tell them! if you keep letting it go on, it's just going to get worse. please get help now before it's too late!

bbq

yes. it IS abuse and it already has escalated !
who know s there are prob other forms of abuse that you are suffering and not even aware of.

dear abyy lists signs of abusers
http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20010329

I know I was until i got schooled in the subject. What you need to do is call your local battered womens shelter

http://www.ehow.com/how_8640_find-battered-womens.html

talk to them. they will guide you into group and individual therapy and help you escape your current dangerous position.

one of the things i learned there is this abuse wheel
http://www.uvm.edu/~women/Files/abusewheel.htm

let me know if u need more help ! be strong

kim_faut

Yes, I have been in an abusive relationship and yes I know exactly how you feel!!! I am now divorcing him. We were married for 1 year and 10 months when I left him. He was emotionally abusive but beginning to show the signs of physical abuse.

Your husband is physically abusing you now. Its not just the hitting, its the pushing, the locking you in the bathroom and the pinning on the bed.

This is how they lure you in: its gradual. Slowly, he'll increase his abuse as he sees you wearing down more and more. This is how they gain control over you.

He doesn't love you. Abusers don't know how to love. Its all about obsession and control. Something happened to him in his childhood. How is his family life? My ex's family are all weirdos too.

Please leave him asap. You certainly deserve better than this. Its only going to get worse, seriously! You are in very grave danger, hon. Find a time when he is at work for you to leave. Get your things in order and get the important docs together: bank accounts, credit cards, his SSN, your docs for your car...

Ef Ervescence

Two words:

G E T

O U T.

You have received only the first part of what will turn VERY bad.

Very frequently people think if they love their partner more, or try to accommodate him/her more, this will turn their partner around.

They are NEVER right.

You can and should seek counselling for yourself. Look for women's assistance/legal aid/shelter.

Do it NOW.

If he repeats any of these things, or does other things similar, or worse, call emergency services and the police.

PLEASE do not underestimate the danger you are in.

You owe it to yourself to leave the relationship, and that means cancel it entirely.

There must be NO half-way measures, NO compromise. None at all.

Go back to the top two words:

GET OUT.

mchana79

Oh my, You are in a serious situation. YES!!!!!!!!!!!! IT WILL GET WORSE, and it doesn't matter either way, what he is doing is Bad enough. I watched my father pin my mother done and be extremely verbally abusive until she divorced him when I was five, and has deeply affected my life for the worse. Are you planning on having children? Also, what if your daughter came to you with the same question, what would you tell her? You are in my prayers. You need to get out NOW, if he will not get help.

toby

take my word for it it will get worse before it gets better. you need to get out of that situation, somehow...family, womens shelter, something...ASAP

Bridget

When you met him he wasn't like this I am assuming... Since he just started this, it will probably get worse. I would go to couples counseling if you want to try and save the marriage.

Personaly I think this guy is a control freak and will end up hurting you in the end. I would get out of there.

me a

It will progressivly get worse. the more he does it and the more you are willing to take, he will keep pushing the limits. NO MAN should ever touch a women in a violent way!
I suggest you move out, kick him out and or get a restaining order until he gets help! If he loves you, he won't hit you. Love don't hurt!

Call a Battered Women's Hotline asap! It has clearly escalated already! Nothing at first, then verbal abuse, then pushing and shoving. I think you know what's coming next. FYI pushing and shoving are forms of hitting but they are only the beginning. Your husband is following the stages to a T and you are beginning to be in serious physical danger.

You might be surprised to know that domestic violence isn't actually about hitting. Hitting is one symptom only. It is about domestic terrorism basically - an escalating pattern where one party in a relationship gains power and control over the other party in a relationship through coercion, lies, entrapment, neglect, brainwashing, and sometimes physical force.

I think you know the truth already. Your husband is not the man you married and he will either deny what he is doing altogether or keep apologizing and keep doing it. Get out before there are children - that's a real nightmare. Protect yourself immediately. The people at the battered women's hotlines are just sitting there hoping you will call them. Call more than one if you need to, if you need additional confirmation of what you are going through.

The stories only differ in the details. The pattern is always the same. Call now. You are absolutely not alone.

kim t

If I were you, I would get out of this relationship now, it will get worse, I put up with this for 30 years, I'm getting a divorce .

gunnygurl

Been there, done that. It does not get better, it gets worse. It does not help if you believe the crap he says afterward or promises not to do it again. Abusers stay abusers. They have to want to change and make the effort. Every woman who goes through it blames herself for letting it continue. Trouble is, when some women have no support, either financially or emotionally, they are trapped and they feel it. For any woman that has never gone through this, you have no idea how painful it is to hear the abuse or feel the abuse on a regular basis. You have no idea how hard it is to leave that kind of relationship as well, when you wonder is this all I have to look forward to the rest of my life. If you start to believe it, or believe it now, you are stuck with no way out. Restraining orders are designed more for a paper trail than they are protection. So even though you get one, if you don't call the cops, it ain't going to do you any good to have it. It also doesn't do any good to call the cops and then not press charges. Abusers don't like cops, they also don't like their power taken from them. So putting them in jail and keeping the charges on them is your protection. You want protection, look at your state laws and see what you can do legally to protect yourself. Then if you have to cave his head in to get him to stop long enough to get yourself and your kids out if you have any, then do it. Start getting Mad, and stay that way. It will help you focus your energy to get out. It was the only thing that kept me going when I wanted to give up. Get some serious rage going, and cut loose. Every time I hear about this stuff, it makes me ragingly angry. I hate the lures and the lies that these jerks tell, and yes it makes me angry when women don't get out, because they don't need to die, they don't need their kids to witness this on a daily basis, and it is senseless. Every one here is urging you to get help.

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