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mjm52
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I thought about leaving about every other day my first year of marriage. I had these pictures in my mind about how it would be when we were married and it was nothing like that. I was young with preconceived ideas. Boy that was a very long time ago. The first year is always the hardest. It's a big adjustment to make. This is when you get to really know who each other is with no frills. Give it some time sweetie. It will all work itself out, you'll see. Oh, I'm married 35 years now, I never did leave. |
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angel davis
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Our first year of marriage was what i call the year of great emotion. Weither it was a happy time it was intense, weither it was a sad time it was intense. Everything was still so new and fresh and lovey...and then reality set in and we realized that this was something that wasnt gonna grow and thrive on its own, we had to care for it, feed it and nurture it like a real living thing. To be honest, our 5th year was really the hardest one. I was begining to become more independant and wanting to have my own space as in a job for income to do things i enjoyed, my own vehicle to go places when i wanted to and my own phone. All of these things, i now see , were ways of not really having to communicate with my husband about the way i felt in our marriage. I felt he was the important one with all the control, even though he didnt treat me bad, i felt i had no independence or value. We have now been married for 13yrs and it is really a day by day thing. Learn to communicate and laugh and you will make it through anything together. |
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I'm all yours
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I loved my first year, and I wish I could relive it. I've been married 32 years now, and I have to say the last 10 or so have been horrible. I'd leave, but there is too much at stake. I just wish the good times could come back. |
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lina
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No it was stressful. I did think about divorce but not seriously. We had just started living together and had 2 miscarriages in the first year, but I'v heard that most people find the first year the hardest. We're in our third year and have had 2 more miscarriages, and we are getting stronger and love each other more. We're more committed, although we still have bad days. But this is normal. Nothing is ever perfect, you need to work at it. |
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krazy4hd
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my first year of marriage was total hell - even tho i'd been with my hubby for five years before we got married, he totally changed once he got that ring on his finger. turned him into an old fuddy-duddy that acted like, since we were married, we weren't allowed to have any fun anymore. luckily, i stuck it out - it got better, and we've now been married for 14 + years. biggest key to marital bliss - COMMUNICATION! talk to each other, girl! |
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gamerunner2001
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Man, it was a mess from day one and at the end of year 1 we were almost ready to end it. It got better, we stayed together, I grew up, big part of the problem in year 1. We had 4 children over our 32 years of marriage and things couldn't be better but it was very hard at first. |
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katydid
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It's really common for the first year of marriage to be stressful. You're both learning about each others ways, habits and families.
The first year of my marriage was all that I hoped it would be. Not to say there weren't any problems but I never considered divorce.
If divorce is already being considered, look into counseling before the problems get too big and too much resentment builds up. Good luck! |
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?
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My first and second year of marriage were very hard, with alot of adjustments mostly on my part because I'm older and more set in my ways. We both considered separation several times and even had bags packed several times, but the third year my husband was in Iraq and it forced us to set everything else aside and face our biggest issues head on. After that, we both seemed to finally hit the same page and we are both much happier people. It was the hardest 2 years of my life, but I never loved anyone more than I do this man and have never been treated better by anyone before either, so now this marriage is what I hoped it would be and even better. thanks for asking. |
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lucki female
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My first 4 weren't great. Considered cheating, considered divorce. It wasn't until I got pregnant with our second child and considered abortion our communication opened up. It has been pretty steady ever since then. I am glad I stuck out those first years. I know 4 years sounds like a lot, but now it's been 10 and I am as happy as I could have imagined. A lot to learn. If you married for life - find ways around it. Tell him how you really feel, if he can't take it - you'll find your answer. You have to get to the point that your opinion matters or the whole relationship won't work. |
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appleblossom_dreamer
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I think the first year of my marriage was very rough. The day we got married we were already fighting about what'll happen to the kids when we got divorced. I thought about divorce almost everyday, actually even called an attorney to see what I could do. But of course, 7 years later, I'm still unhappily married. Marriage is nothing like I ever dreamed it would be!! Maybe my expectations of what a marriage should be like are to high. |
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Violet Pearl
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It was the start of the best years of my life. |
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~Annette~
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Yes, My husband and I are extremly happy. We have been together 11 yrs, married for 9.
I was married 2 times before, and I never thought of divorce the first yr..
If you are thinking of divorce, alot of people do that when they are upset or not happy..I know a woman who threatens divorce all the time, just to scare her husband..Which is sad.
Do you and your husband still get along? Do you communicate at all? Communication is the key to a very happy and healthy marriage. Sometimes we have fantasys in our mind of how we think marriage will be, before we marry, then after we marry, reality sets in, and the $$ problems come, family problems etc..and its not what we thought it would be at all. We just have to try to work through all these things, work as a team with your partner..The first 2 yrs of marriage are supposed to be the hardest.
Mine is all I had hoped for, But I knew what reality was..I had been married 2 times before, so I knew what to expect, I knew that communication is the key..etc..etc.
So I have a wonderful marriage...and we have never even discussed divorce, never even threatened it when we were upset with each other...(like some people do), Not talking about you either...I just know people who use that word as a weapon, and that is so wrong..It can really destroy a relationship.
Alot of times before people marry, they dream of the "White picket fence, with 2 kids, and a new car" etc..etc. Life is hard, and everything takes time...
If you and your spouse still love each other deeply, then work on it, and things will get better...
Alot of people do think of divorce, when $$ is tight and times are hard..But divorce isnt always the answer...
Wishing you the Best.. |
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Ellyn
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Yes, because i knew him well. We waited 5 yrs before getting married and I am glad we did. I think some people get married way too soon |
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blr3938
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i have been married for 18years yes thee first year and the 5th year was the toughest but just remember why you married him marriage isn't easy you both have to work at it that's what makes it so hard it would be easy to end it but its worth trying to work it out |
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gina l
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Been happily married 16 yrs and our whole married life has been happy not always easy especially with money but happy. |
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?
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I never thought of divorce ! The 1st yr is always the most stressful one. You have to get used to each others little annoying habits. My advice to you is to communicate, communicate, communicate ! Every night before we went to bed, we would talk over what was bothering us. Don't let a little speck on your heart turn into a cushing stone ! We even do that now, after 23 yrs of marriage. Also learn to have faith and trust.
You cannot a change a person, but you can learn to understand them.
Good Luck |
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MotherMayI?
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I found my first year a learning experience. I did think of divorce. Mainly because I was very used to relationships with conflict. We don't much so I was bored. Stupid I know. It's much more then I ever thought it could be. |
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♥ Lady L ♥
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I have been married for 2 1/2 yrs. These first two years have been kind of hard on me being that I have never lived or had to share space with a male. I grew up with 4 sisters and a mom, so I did not know much about the male species. It is hard trying to adjust sharing space and money and responsibility with him. We now have two kids and we both work full time jobs. This marriage thing is just like any other relationship, we have our good and bad times, but it is definitely not all I thought it would be. |
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Mensa Head
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NO |
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HA! HA! HA!
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No, but did after two years, cause I married an "Adonis" that refused to get an F'ing job. |
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mamaof2
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WE HAD A CHILD WHEN WE WERE YOUNG AND, WE MARRIED AT 17 AND 5 YEARS LATER CHURCH HAS SAVED OUR MARRIAGE. YOU NEED TO BE INVOLVED IN CHURCH AND TRUST GOD THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE OK |
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sweetgranny06
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i was very happy |
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TEA
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Yes, it was happy, but it was also stressful. There are adjustments that have to be made by both parties. Many couples think about getting divorced during the first year, but have found that staying together was better for them in the long run. |
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Shelly t
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15 years of marriage never happy think of divorce on a daily basis now. |
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Lady Hewitt
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No i did not think about divorce at all... Had its up and downs but for the most part was pretty happy:) I dont know if it was all i hoped it would be but it was good:) We are now very happy and so very in love and we have a good marriage and are going on 8 years of marriage... Marriage is what you make of it..... |
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jenapher
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My firs year was our best year of marriage, we wouldn't fight about anything, now 3 years later all we did is fight. |
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visrom
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The first year of my marriage was mixed...it was definitely not the happiest year of my life. We had a lot of fights and arguments. We realised that once we start living under the same roof, we come to know the true colours of each other. When you are dating and spending time before marriage it is totally different. You are trying to impress the other person by doing a lot of sweet things, but after marriage, you sometimes take the other person for granted...for example, my husband who used to phone me at least once a day before marriage could not find time to sit down and talk to me after marriage because of the work pressure. It was just that because we were in the same house, he didn't feel it necessary to phone me. Then there was this problem of sharing finances...this is one factor which has a bearing upon your relationship after marriage. Overall I would say that my first year after marriage was a mixed bag. Divorce did occur to me a couple of times, especially after the birth of our son because I had to quit my job and my husband was working extra hours to compensate for the loss of my income. We were hardly speaking to each other once a week. I used to feel lonely stuck with my baby 24 hours a day with no adult conversation and very very depressed about the setback in my career. I did give him a tough time by venting out my feelings at him.
But we have come though it tougher and more tolerant of each others habits and lifestyle. We are now married for 6 years and even if we have a big fight and the thought of divorce does occur, I don't think we would actually divorce each other. Over the years we have grown to love each other inspite of all the imperfections we have. |
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snoringcouchprincess
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My experience...
The first year was truly blissfull! Absolutely no thots of divorce at all!
Second year was not too bad but developing second thoughts.
By third year, it was bye bye birdie ;-)
Good luck! |
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nhmomma2006
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marriage is hard but at times can get easier . Maybe you guys should consider counseling? |
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I Like Grapes
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My first year of marriage was hell. It's very stress full but dont even think about getting a divorce after just one year it WILL get better you just have to work on it. I lived with my husband for about a year before we got married and it was great, then we got married and things started to change (ex: his family thought they HAD to envolved in everything, or my family thought we HAD to do everything with them.) Block out what your families are trying to tell you (unless you ask for advice) and concentrait on you and him, we are going on year 2 and i've seen a big improvment and less stress. |
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