We lived together, now what?
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We lived together, now what?
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My girlfriend and I used to live together for about a year (we've been together of 3 years), I had left my parents and moved into her flat - did not pay for half the time(she genuinely wanted me there) . Now I bought a place on my own and she is coming and going when she feels like, she would tell me the days a week before. it really bothers me, especially when she used to complain if i left her alone for a night at the old flat. I offered her to drive her to work in the mornings but she still prefers to sleep at her parents saying that work is closer there (it's a 15min drive from my house).... She says that she will never live in my house because she is independent. I'm not comfortable with big "this step" back especially when she is calling the shots. On average she will be at my house 3 nights in a week now... as oppose to the 7 nights. I can't help to feel like a sitting duck!
Last Friday I told her that I wanted to spend the night alone, I wanted to clean (she never helps with the cleaning, because she says it is my house) and wake up late - she complained about me not wanting around for the next 2 days! I do give her loads of space, and i know that she is not cheating on me - I can feel it.
Would this bother you if it happened to you? any suggestions?
Additional Details
She is 21 and I am 25 - we don't want to get married! at least until she finished her degree
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ah-ight
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yes, but what would bother me more is the fact that i am allowing this to happen in the first place. you are not a doormat, in case you didn't know, and your feelings are equally important as hers. instead of letting her "call the shots", maybe you could too. |
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kpopp
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This is the problem about "shacking-up." You really have no rules. There is no right or wrong. You play it by ear. If you want her to live with you why don't you propose marriage? Check out my source and read the chapter about "after all, we're not married." |
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Merrium W
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She gives you your space and you are complaining . If she loves you she will be with you . I think she loves you ,but do you love her? |
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Patricia M
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Here is the problem... YOU HAVE BEEN TOGETHER 3 YEARS!! Instead of buying a place together, you bought one on your own. This means if you guys break up, she will loose her whole life... plus, why would she do that, you haven't even proposed AFTER THREE YEARS!!
Unfortunately, is sounds like your girl is being smart, by not moving in. I would not move in with you either without a ring and proposal. Plus, she has been waiting 3 years and you go and and buy a place of your own. If my BF went out and bought a place of his own, I'd be upset. I would be upset because I would want to start a life with someone by buying a house together.
What you did, was start YOUR future without her. I think she is starting to pull away, because she sees your relationship going nowhere and she is tired of waiting.
I would say, the only person you have to blame is yourself. Women can only wait so long for a guy to pop the question, before they move on. Instead of popping the question, YOU MOVED ON, without her. I wouldn't be surprised if she imagined getting married to you and you both, buy your first house/flat/whatever together.
If you are not ready to get married, let your girlfriend go, so she can find someone who will be. Women only have so much youth to squander on one guy. You're lucky, because your girl is still around... |
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Additional Details
haha i have no idea why they put me in this category.
oh well im sure there are lots of ... |
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No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
