What's the matter with my wife?

mark

She has emotional problems.

Seek help or if you have gone down that path leave before children are brought into the picture.

------edit to my response-----

Good catch fi. Sounds like both were written by the same person. This is bull%$^&

fi â™

hmmmmmm this sounds familiar
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=A0WTcZkwSkRHs5wAMwbB7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20071121064733AAZaXWr

dont you two actually TALK to each other lol!

elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom

she's mad because you are obviously hiding something in your email box... I just read the question your wife asked very recently as well! you know, I am thinking you think playing around online is not cheating, well, it is...! and she probably has no clue you play around online, does she??? =(... if this is the case, she should dump you... it's your own fault this holiday will be crappy because you hide your emails! there is no hiding nothing in marraige, ever...! no privacy, no nothing... you become 1 and share everything... if there is something you won't share w/ her you should not be doing it, plain and simple... sick of this crap now a days... if you want privacy, remain single!

Dr S

this sounds like the exact same post as the one posted a few minutes ago. Except now it is the husband telling the same story. I think someone has two yahoo answers accounts.

Momma

You need to tell her exactly what you told us, that in the 3 years of marriage she has not compromised her feelings for yours during the holidays, and its time its stopped, Make sure that you tell her, your going to your sisters, and SHE IS COMMING, she is to have her bottom ready to go and a smile on her face, and if she dares to ruin this one as well, she will regret it, --- She will most likely get PO'd ----------------- You need to be happy aswell, and its important that she understands that her immature behavior is making this marriage suffer, I think at this point honesty is the best policy, she needs to know you mean business, and she needs to admit she is WRONG, Her way is not the right way, and just because your sister sent and email doesn't make it right. OH and for the record, if she doesn't go to your sisters, then you DO NOT go to her families Either--------------PETTY Yes but this is what she understands

American Beauty

What difference does it make if your sister emailed you? She invited you and your wife to dinner, and if you have no other plans, there's no reason why you guys shouldn't go. You need to deal with your wife, because her insecurities are effecting your relationship. Is she overweight, does she feel unattractive, or something like that? Is she uncomfortable in the company of others? Ask her why she's not going. If she says it's because you lied, tell her that she wouldn't have gone if you had told the truth; so the lying is not an issue. Then, tell her that you intend to go without her. Also, tell her that you see through her excuses, and you're not going to bother her with anymore invitations. If she gets upset, that's fine. After 3 years of her foolishness, she needs to hear the truth; and you need to take a stand.

People who are controlling are insecure. Your wife is both of these and, as I wrote earlier, it's effecting your marriage. Stop thinking you have to lie, to get along with her. Tell her the truth and if she doesn't like it, too bad. You have a right to your own email and if she doesn't like that, too bad again. You have to aquire this type of attitude, when dealing with her. You're a grown man, not her puppet.

Understand that sensitively is another expression of insecurity. You can't allow these insecurities to keep you from enjoying life. If this woman won't join you during the holiday season, go places without her. And if she pouts, or tries to make you feel guilty, simply tell her that it's not working this time. You would like her to join you; but if she won't, it's her choice. If you don't deal with this problem, your wife is going to make your life miserable. No doubt, you're already going through some stress because of her suspicious attitude. Imagine how much worse it's going to get, if you continue to allow her controlling behavior! Better start dealing with it now, my friend.

SAMD010

Yeah, you are right. She was just using the Email form of communique as an excuse. Tell her that you want to discuss something with her. If you have been married for 3-years then you already know each other inside and out. Just say that you have noticed that she does not care to be around "large crowds of people" . . . A "Large Crowd" could be 3-or-more or whatever. Tell her that actually you don't care that much about it but also you want others to know what prize you have for a spouse. Thus, you feel sort of proud for your treasure and you would like to show it off. How formal can a family get together get (to be or not to be)? Tell her that you also do not feel so comfortable about those kinds of gatherings but not too many other participants really feel so great about it either. So what? "The main thing is we are going to be together." Second in significance is the fact that . . ."We are going out and not just staying @ home" . . . "By doing that then we can be able to register fond memories of doing things together; and not just being so anti-social." I hope you do well. Good luck and God Bless your marriage. Have a Happy Thanksgiving together . . . No matter where and how you spend it . . .

Mary

If you don't have anything to hide, then you shouldn't have a problem with her going through your emails ...

I probably would've been offended, too. My husband and I know all of eachothers passwords and don't care if we go through anything of the others.

teeman824

doesn't sound like it is all your wife, like you are tring to convince us to hard it is her.
SORRY

Roko

Is this the wife pretending to be hubby for male perspective? Geesh!

You posted this too from the wife's perspective!!! Same writing style and closing line!!!:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnjLSw179pMe2dR1MELIsL_sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071121064733AAZaXWr&show=7#profile-info-KGHembF7aa

Anyways, you shouldn't have lied to begin with.
You need to sit wife down and say whether your sister emails or writes you that is no reason to freak out with excessive jealousy/suspiciousness.

I would recommend getting a marital counselor if this doesn't work because coming from a pro to tell you to be honest (it's very important to trust) and for your wife to respect your privacy.

It is a red flag when someone acts all sheepish and turns there monitor. What you got a love letter or you nagging about her? Or subscribing dirty ezine?
Anyways, you get the point. i understand having your own password but acting all protective of your screen is too much, unless there's more to this story like you writing your sis and wife act psychotically jealous over that.

Marital counseling!

Atom 74

Maybe talk to her, I think she posted the exact opposite story in another post a few minutes ago.

neoga illinois

try a marriage counselor

b.johne k

she does not feel comfortable with herself. the only thing is to build her confidence up , she obviously has low self esteem. and being in an enviroment that she has no control over just makes it worse .had your sister talked to her directly things would be different for some reason, she wants the acceptence from your family and be more involved regardless if she says so or not. allow her to make the plans for the hoidays .it won't happen suddenly but she will come to see your side of things sometimes letting her think it was her idea and what a great idea it is do you understand that reverse pshyscology.try it. and the best of luck your marriage will improve but, it will take time good luck

just_a_hick

Sounds really immature. Assure her nothing is going on and you just want to have a good holiday

The WiÅ¾ard

sounds like 2 different issues. But it sounds like you're not happy with her knowing your email stuff and she wonders why. If you have nothing to hide, what does it matter if she went through your stuff. Eventually she would get tired of snooping anyway once she realizes theres nothing to worry about.

Nouri K

Uh bud, you've lied on something very small like the email. How's she going to trust you on bigger things? That's a tip of an iceberg to some women. She's probably wondering what's below the surface she doesn't know about.

Your question says, "of course I lied" and " told her it's (email) the same thing" when you said you knew she thought of them differently. That probably made it worse her and dug yourself in deeper and added fuel to the fire. It would be better to say that your sister thinks email is a personal form of communication or hates talking on the phone or some reason that you think email is not so remote and cold if that is the issue to your wife. Don't try and justify yourself by dissing what's important to her. You don't have to agree that a phone call is important just recognize that it is to her. If she feels that you aren't respecting her wishes, it's just going to get worse for you.

Maybe she doesn't like your family? Maybe the excuses are there because she doesn't want to say the real reason and hurt your feelings about your family. Maybe what you defined as one good holiday was not one for her. Maybe she has a different idea of what it should be.

Ask her what she wants to do. Try perhaps asking her if she would like a nice quiet holiday together and volunteer to do all the cooking and cleaning or get take out or take her out. Make her feel special and focused on. Give her a holiday that celebrates being with her and your love for her and see what happens.

Also, what about her family or her friends? Maybe she wants a turn.

Calm

Sounds like there is a communication issue here. I say have a serious sit-down talk about the matter. If that does not work a counciling session should do. Three years into a marriage you should both be in a comfort zone...,but this doesn't seem to be the case.

Go to a marriage counsellor

cindra

I hate to say this, but you're lying right now. You claim that "we've never lied", but you chose to lie to your wife about receiving an email. It also seems that if you had nothing to hide from her, you wouldn't be so concerned about giving her your password or having her go through your emails. Your behavior IS suspicious and that is probably the reason why SHE is suspicious of you. Aside from that, it seems like she has some emotional issues. Have you considered counseling? You both could benefit. You need to figure out why you are continuing to lie to her and why she is continuing to ruin holidays.

lady

what the hell,,you and your wife,,are seeking attention or what,,?!?! posting the same question,,,?!!?! i say your both freaken nuts,,,,

NY Yanks Girrl

Well there has to be a deeper reasoning. Does she get along w/ your fam? Does she not trust you, i don't really get it1 I hope things work out though and u have a good turkey day :)

yumaballer3

Mabey she has problems with your family, eaither that or she whats to spend it with her family. You should just sit her down, and ask her what she wants to do. Then talk about it, and work something out.

Princess Belen

Well she sounds alot like me theres not much u can do!! sorry some people are just like that!!!

Mrs. Jack Sparrow â™¥

Sounds like you and your "wife" need to work things out on your own and not yahoo answers

Jollypixx

maybe u should try talking to her. she has to have a reason for wanting to be so suspicious. Maybe she thinks ur cheating, im not saying u r but maybe she thinks that. some women have that paranoia stuck in their head right from the beginning. or u culd go and c a counsellor, they may help ya
Good Luck

Kristin

She is being unfair, as far as I can tell. ASK her why she is upset. You will probably get an I'm not upset or a nasty reply. Tell her that you love her and you are trying to compromise. Ask her what her feelings are and just listen until she asks you a question. Then tell her how you feel about the situation. NOT what SHE does and what YOU do. Use the words, I feel. Then see if you can't compromise. Maybe she is insecure about being around your family, are they judgemental? There is a reason that she doesn't want to go. Maybe she is hurt because you keep your email secret. My boyfriend and I both can get into each other's accounts. There should be no secrets. He even tells me when his ex-crush still texts him, I don't get mad, because he is honest. (I trust him). If you can't come to some kind of conclusion, or she doesn't open up, you might want to think about counseling. I hope that you can compromise and have a good holiday, and holidays to come. Good luck.

Delilah

Talk to her. Tell her how you feel and how it bothers you that she is like this during the holidays. Tell her it really means a lot to you to spend time with the family during holidays...especially with her in the picture. Ask her why she reacts the way she does. Find out whats bothering her. Maybe she doesn't even realize what she is doing. Maybe in her past, she got really burned by someone and it has affected her ever since. Whatever it is, she needs to learn to let go and forgive and move on as it sounds like it is hurting you and in the long run your relationship with her.

ashleybredesen

you should have told her the truth to begin with because now its worse. since you DID lie then now she has a reason to doubt your integrity. you did that to yourself and your marriage. we women value honesty up front.

as far as the email....my hubby is very protective over that too and i just have learned to respect his privacy and trust him. she should not have flipped over that (i know i get guilty of it myself). you did the right thing in letter her see it though.

i would go to marriage counceling. or if you would like individual. but BOTH of you need to go and work through your junk in the trunk. my hubby and i don't go right now but we are reading "love and respect". google it and check out the site. its biblically based, however, my hubby is not religious but he loves the book. what we do is read a bit then talk about how we do what he describes and how we can make it better. since we have been reading this book, we both have fought less and have tried to see it from each others POV.

good luck!

back2future

Sorry to hear that..
well, everyone react differently with the inviatation.. ..well, my hubby cares that too.. so, I normally dont give him the details.... just talk to her, or ask ur sis call her and invite her.. that'll be OK...

Have a good Thanksgiving..!!!

Rach

Maybe she's depressed. Does she get on with your family? Do they make an effort with her? It sounds like she doesnt think your sister makes much of an effort, Id be a bit miffed with a lousy email too!

It sounds like she doesnt feel comfortale with your family, so family holidays are never going to be nice for her, thus she'll make it difficult for you! bless ya chick!

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