What are our options?

DivaDynamite

1) Reopen the court case to try to get custody away from her
2) Stop returning her calls again. Put a recording device on your phone, and tape her abuse. Use it in court. And don't let her have any idea you're doing it.
3) Get documentation from the school of what the costs are and of the balance due to prove she is cheating you (and also not using the money for the correct things)
4) Sue her for part of the child support back. The amount was based on facts presented, one of which was her testimony that she wasn't working. Provide proof that she was.
50 If all else fails put a hit on her! (OK PEOPLE---CLEARLY THAT IS A JOKE!)

misydoll

You sound like you are doing great in bad times. On option is have the boy come live with you.

Bella

okay first off...where is the jurisdiction of the child custody. $200.00 is the minimum in the US. so i will try to help with that.

if the child is in US jurisdiction, what matters is what the court order that has last been filed states. so definitely talk to your attorney. what ever she writes on her own is of no value if it was not stamped by the judge. and she can't stipulate to anything unless there was someone to stipulate with. and second...(not to be rude) but any additional monies he sent to her with out a receipt, is his bad) stick to what the court order states. if you need to modify because of hardships...then do so.
what she actually does with the money is none of your concern. he is providing on his child's behalf and that is all that matters. all technicallity...based on the minimum of $200.00...that's for a parent that actually sees their kid. I know here....in California, i can get $900.00 for my two kids if my ex never sees his kids. so in all reality, your husband got off REALLY light. so check that court order.....and comply with it. don't give any other monies. if she asks for it....tell her to get her order modified. and if you need to....go get it modified due to hardship.

but i got to be honest....it already looks like you are at bare minimum as it is. so i doubt any reductions will be made. STOP SENDING HER MORE THAN WHAT IS COURT ORDERED!!!!

Miss-Kenya

Wow that's alot to handle hon! I experience somthing like that but not entirely. My case was that his ex gf trapped him by tellin him she's pregnant for him. He was sending money for her *** to take care of the child. To his surprise the child wasnt even his, but he was payin child support for someone's child. Todate he has never seen this child.

Just fight her, get a lawyer.

goodluck!

Crazybird

There comes a time when you have to call their bluff. Document, document, document everything. Keep a diary. I don't think it's permissible in court, but tape the calls when she threatens things. Atleast a lawyer will know what you're dealing with and be better able to guide you. People like that continue to bully as long as you let them. They crawl back under the rug when they find their threats won't work anymore. The children are not pawns and shouldn't be used as such. There's so much we don't know in situations like this that it is better to get legal advice and backing so you know and aren't so stressed out.

Eileen

Go to the courts and tell them what you just told us here. That will make her see things clearly

juicy

for your guys (yourselfand husband) protection i would take all the proff and documents down to the courts and show them whats been going on befor she twists things around and while your at it try and get full custody of the child who knows what else has been going on in her life it doesn't sound like the mother is a sain person. good luck and protect that child.

Tek

Take it to court and show her that she can not do things like this. Hate money grabbing .......... It is really sad how people are all about money and not morals these days.

Toto

Is so bad. I don't know if you can win anything with this women. The law is not to be force, the women can do what she wants - and the child is just terrorize what to do. If you start fighting, request legal documents of expenses or whatever - she can make them up and very high - and you can be obligated to pay even more. I think only communication and be nice is only way.

Pia

Too much to read.

All I can say is, the kid was in the picture before you came along, and you knew he had "baggage" and financial obligations before you married him. Kids do grow up, and things get expensive. Bear with it, or leave him

Big Marc

Its a callous game, but be prepared to lose contact with the daughter. This is a bigger game and the custodial parent is playing it so you can do one of two things, either play it with her or refuse. You can see what playing it with her has gotten you.

I agree with one of the above posters, don't send another cent. Force her to play whatever card she's holding, when that no longer works she will be more willing to negotiate with you then.

Good luck

andrew4camfun

Gotta agree with most here; get a lawyer!

san_ann68

you need to get a lawyer involved and present all the facts to him and from now on you need to document everything concerning this woman,if at all possible see if you can get custody of the girl,it doesn't sound like a stable environment shes in

lookingfor_mrrightnow

Who has jurisdiction over the child support and custody order, the US or Aruba? I would immediately find out and then check into the laws regarding child support and visitation. I would immediatley only do what the court order says. I would also document every conversation between you, the ex and your husband. I would document when you send packages and keep track of any and every little detail no matter how insignificant it might seem.

liyah's mommy

holly god, that was like a chapter in a half....so I would go to legal aid, or just send the money you have when you have it, or give up all together.....wow that was alot

dncnlksh

that is a tough situation but what you just said you need to show that to the courts and tell them your concern for the child and then keep record of how many times that you here that the baby is sick and give them that recored and let them know that the baby is not in the best of health make tha courts order that you provide health records becaues the father has the right to obtin thoes records and "then there is to to Aurba and take the child .

jaimestar64cross

you should be contacting your lawyer not us --- you want to handle this matter legally

aggei

Divorce or not, a man must take full responsibility for his child that i agree with but in a situation where a woman is seizing that opportunity to extort money from the father outside courts jurisdiction, then you have to revisit the court for proper whatever. And I think you are taking it too personal what if they decide to come back together divorce or not? they have a bound!

imapepper

My s-i-l tried to have her ex give her more money, but because he's remarried and has a new family, the courts would have ordered a smaller sum be paid to her---he is still entitled to make a living for himself and his new family. So my s-i-l decided not to take him to court.

My cousin is divorced and does not have custody of the children. Her ex would ask her continually to give him money for food, for school clothes, for medical insurance, etc. supposedly all of it for the kids. Fortunately, she wised up and began to BUY the clothes herself, BUY the food herself, and get medical insurance for her kids herself. And let me share this with you, when she BOUGHT food and took it to his home, that night, he called her and YELLED at her for not buying enough food. She simply answered: Yes I did, there is enough food there to feed THREE CHILDREN for a week. He hung up on her. He was expecting her to buy food for him as well. Long story short, he didn't want her around anymore, but he still wanted her paycheck. Too bad, she is entitled to make a living for herself and he CANNOT take all of her money. She actually WANTS him to sue her for child support because she'll be spending less money if she pays him what the courts order her to. But he hasn't and it's been 5 years.

Your husband is entitled to make a living with his new wife and family. The EX cannot expect him to continue to support her as he did before, and that's what she wants. She's using the child as leverage. Try to get her back in to court. With all the medical bills you have and what-not, you may be able to have the judge agree with you about sending the child clothes rather than money, and school supplies. Get some custody as well, maybe ask for her to visit during some Holidays and School Off time. Divorce and court orders are painful and expensive, I wish you luck and will pray all will come out well for you. It may not happen over night, but you'll get your lives back.

blazegirl

See a lawyer and try to get custody of the daughter! If you could she would be better off and so would you.

love2utam

Talk to a Lawyer and good luck with all that.

Aw Jeez! What a witch that women is!! I think you should definetly take her back to court. You have an awesome case. You should make sure in your court orders that you get receipts for all the money you send. You are intitled to it. I have sent reciepts to my ex for the past 6 years...receipts for clothes, diapers, food etc.

Balthazar

She IS crazy as well as stupid....If I were in your shoes I would place all the child support in a bank account for now...and tell her so in writing and when she learns to conform to the rules of the divorce he will reconsider his options. Until then she will have to hire someone who can't possibly agree with her actions and controlling motives. She is just a leech, holding the child for ransom and probably should not have custody since she's a nut case. My nephew's wife is Venezuelan and what a control freak and jealous little thing she is. Her "hot babe spendthrift" mother is even Worse!
Good luck, be firm.

GrnApl

This is waaaaaaaay to long of a question. Contact an attorney.

goldlust74

you keep saying "we" when it really is between him and her to sort out.

Mike M.

Very interesting story, thank you for sharing.

HazelEyes

....too much to read. Ask again using the condensed version.

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