What can I do now?

g3010

Girlfriend; you have only one thing to take into consideration, only one thing at a time and your kids should be at the top of your list. You get enough put on your plate with kids, you sure don't need what a husband dishes out to you when all he want to do is make your life miserable. Prove to him that you don't need him to make a living for you and your kids.

buttercuppeepersgilda

No matter what stay away from your husband. He is abusive. File for a divorce and get a restraining order for him. Then find someone else who will care for you when you are sick and ill.

smscoach22

First and foremost you have to take care of yourself because if you don't then you will not be able to take care of your daughter. You have two choices right now...#1 Hang out there for the next two weeks and be subject to abuse; #2 Get your apartment and get out. Explain to your landlord your situation and see if he/she is willing to work with you. You probably have more help than you realize. Charity organizations can help. It may be humbling but at least you will have some help. If you pray and trust God He will work out your situation. It may not be exactly like you want but it will work out.

If you are ill, your first priority if getting yourself better for your sake and for your daughter. You are no good to your daughter dead.
Seems like you need to take a break from this relationship until you get better. If he really cares for you, he should understand that the fights and difficulties may make your illness worse. Don't worry about what he's feeling because it sounds like you have enough to worry about. He'll get through on his own.
Look after yourself and good luck.

hotmama1

I think I already answered this question, so I'll ask you to refer to my formmer answer. If that don't help, then GL;)

allyalexmch

Stay away from your husband except when you have to for your daughter. praise yourself on becoming self sufficient.

good luck

wolfdreamer06

9 chances out of 10 your little girl will think its ok to have a relationship with a guy like this. Think about that. I know its hard, Ive been through it many times. Be strong and lean on your parents, there will be another guy someday. Teach your daughter to be self sufficiant and independant, she will grow up with lots and lots of confidence! It takes time but do it for your girl! God Bless!

MissR

I would talk to your parents and figure out a way to get away from him once and for all. If he is abusive, you certainly can't deal with that for the rest of your life...no matter how ill you are...that will only make it worse. Work with your parents.

Life Coach

Don't turn to him....
your parents are the better choice...
and for your sickness, do everything the doctors tell you to do in order to get better...you don't control it, you just make the choices to best care for YOU...
Your child needs a healthy mom..so take care of mom first!!

amablebebe

Well I think your parents visit might be the answer to all your questions. Forget about this man he obviously doesn't love you. It's your children who need you most and what good will you be to them if your dead and gone. I'm sure you wouldn't feel good knowing that if u had to die they would be left in his care. Could you imagine the type of life they would have to endure. Talk to your parents and even if it means packing up your things and your kids and moving back home with them, do it. Your life is at stake here and you need to do everything in your power to prolong it for as long as possible. Do it for your children.

musicalj2

Well, I'm a Christian and would say pray and get others to pray for you too. But in the event that doesn't appeal to you, you need to have plans in place for your daughter to be looked after while you have treatment. Can you take your employer into your confidence and take some time off while you get things sorted out? Do you have things like the UK's Citizen's Advice Bureau where you go and get free advice or referral to someone who can help you?

lookingwesttexas

you have to be strong for your child. If there are serious health issues which i hope there isn't, you have to be strong for your daughter...if you are down and scared it will make her the same as well. If your husband isn't man enough to stick by you then your better off without him he will only cause more grief to an already stressful situation. Use your parents as support and think positive and then move forward with your life. Most of all..be strong. Good Luck to you

[Breaking Dawn]

maybe you should spend more time together
quality time always work...well mostly it does

msqtech

You just have to take care of yourself first. Relieve stress and take care of child. Get help and love your parents. Good Luck

Church may help

cosaxteacher

Well, I think you need to rethink some things.
1. Though you have a daughter with him, you need to get her away from him as you have stated he is abusive.
2. You are self-sufficient, so be that way. Just get the child support for your daughter.
3. If you do have a serious illness that would require you needing assistance, move. You don't have family near you, but you can always move to be near them so they can help you. Do that.

My mother and step-father separated when I was 13. To be able to live under a good roof, my mother moved us from California to Wisconsin so she would be near family that could help her. Sometimes you have to make a sacrifice.

bluez

Negativity is a breeding ground for illness...so definately don't go back to him again. You deserve someone that is there for you all the time, not someone that is when they feel like it. Good for you for leaving him.....I am sorry to hear about your possible illness...just focus on your health and your daughter and keeping the negativity out of your life. Stay positive...it will help!!

Phil

Wow sweetie, I can really relate because my wife Barbara has breast cancer, was in remission for 2 years. Now started radiation last week, going for 6 weeks everyday Monday Thur Friday. I hate it because it's nothing I can do, but stay by her side and pray. I do believe in miracles and she will be cured 100%.

We are in the midst of the fire, but will come out shining like gold and silver

You really need to talk to him, try asking him if the shoe was on the other foot, so to speak, you would be there for him unconditionally.

lexdoll

Get out now!! Stress makes your health worse!

answer master

YOU SAID THAT YOU LEFT HIM! HE SHOULD TELL YOU TO GET LOST AND NOT WORRY ABOUT YOU!

Wildfire

He will make you worse! Get rid of him, find someone else!

Seeker

While life is certainly tougher with the responsibility of a daughter, she is your key to staying strong. You will have a sense of purpose that you may find tough to maintain if you did not have her. Anytime something comes up that you find tough to do, or you lose your drive or will or strength, just think of her and what you need to do and the rest will be easy. She will be your light when things seem dark. Your love for her and her love for you will keep you going and get you through the tough times.

rainsparrow

I don't know what your illness is but read kevin trudea's book natural cures. It has alot of information about overall health. I believe it can help you. Please read at least to ch. 6. I hate divorce but only you know what is right for yourself and child. Luck to you.

Lovely Libra

Sweetheart, you have to take the focus off of him and put it on yourself and your child. Right now your health is the most important and stress can make your health issue worse. Remember, all the things that you accept, may be the things that you regret. I was in a similar situation and got through it; therefore I am living witness that you can too!! Smile and keep going!! Your child needs mommy to be healthy.

chic_84

Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in life...
If we go through life without obstacles, we would not be as strong as what we could have been...

This is just one of the many obstacles that you'd gone through...
I know you can go through this as well...

good luck!;-)

goldwing

YOu have one set of serious problems, not to be made light of by anyone.
File for divorce immediately ... Legal Aid may be of help. You need to have in writing the $ amount of child support, and stick by your guns ... he must pay or go to jail. He will not find jail nearly as amusing as it sounds.
Go home to your parents...you are going to need all the help you can get. I am so sorry you are in this mess.

cheat9273

After I saw a picture of this girl with a 70 pound tumor on her face I never get depressed anymore. There is always someone with more problems, no matter how bad it gets, things are bound to get better. =)

areyou_looking_atme

firstly do not get back with just for the sake of.
its never healthy for a child to see their parents always arguing. i know your ill and i feel very bad for you but your first concern is your little girl and then yourself. so do not get back with a guy potentially will hurt you all over again

Luna

I praise you for taking control of the situation and becoming self sufficent. However, if your husband is abusive (verbally or physically) this isn't what your daughter needs. If she witnesses him doing these things, she will think it is ok for someone else to do that to her. Show your daughter that mommy is strong and all she needs is you. By doing this, you will uplift your spirits and hers as well. Goodluck with everything. If you ever need someone to talk to you can e-mail me I would be more than happy to listen. Life is hard, but once you come out of a battle, you regain your freedom!

mindygomez

Darling... issues with trust, abuse, and lack of respect just don't make it for a stronger you. It's not like you didn't try. I think it would be more healthy for you (and the child) if you are not saddled with these things. I hope things work out.

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