What can a husband do to help his wife with depression after having a baby?

absolutbianca

well don't ask for help from tom cruise that's for sure.

www.postpartumdads.org

JAZY

Well just help her and do spoil her as much as u can and dont complain about the things that u have to do around the house because she cant just do it b/c u love her

jesuslover

Have a female relative (yours or hers) or friend that she gets along with well come over during the day to keep her company and be a distraction from her thoughts. I've found that if you distract yourself from depresive thinking, you'll soon be able to deal better with life. In this situation though, I would definitely suggest some company for her! Especially since she may see the baby as the cause for her depression.
Also encourage her to get out and walk. Walk with her sometimes, too. Get someone to watch the baby for an hour so the two of you can be a couple again, not just a Mommy & Daddy. After having a baby, this relationship can get lost very easily if you don't work at keeping it thriving.
God Bless! You CAN get through this & I think your wife is blessed to have such a thoughtful husband!! Stay that way!!

Some ideas for good baby sitters/day time help can be found at your local YMCA. They do babysitting classes for teens, so you will be more comfortable that you're getting a good sitter.

H_bio

Let her read Quran Islamic Book , really she's feeling good ..because this book from a god .

Aubrey

Pray and pray and pray some more.

svanwychen

Just be there for her in anyway she lets you. I read a book called "The Five Love Languages" (which are: Gifts, Words of Encouragement, Physical Touch, Financial Security, Quality Time). Determine her most important Love Language and speak it more than you normally would.

lucky

Tell her that you love her, and that the baby will be a great kid. Look for a baby-sister to look over the baby. and go out with her more often. Go to places that you know will make her happy. Treat her the best you can and spend more time with her. Tell her how much she means to you and that you want her to be happy, so that you can be happy.

Laurie T

First find someone to help her with the baby. She might need short breaks during the day. Second, make sure you are paying attention to her. Alot of women get depressed after the baby is born because it seems like nobody cares about you now that the baby is out. (Its ALL about the baby!) Also, you are already tired out from the pregnancy and your hormones are going nuts. One good idea is to have somebody she trusts (hard part) take care of the baby so that you can spend time alone together. Maybe a movie or something. She needs to really feel that she is more to you than just "the baby's Momma". finding someone she trusts can be tricky.. its hard to have someone else take care of your baby, cause then you worry that someone is saying you cant do it or that the baby may start to love the other person more. It sounds crazy, but it is all part of the depression. Also, have her look up "post-partum depression" on the web. Maybe she will not feel so bad when she sees that most women do suffer from it at some point. Good luck!

B D

Been there and we adopted. It can still hit us. Not a lot you can do. Give her space away from the child whenever you can. If you can find a sitter durning the week a day or two may help some. She needs to get out of four walls. She is feeling over whelmed and feeling the baby is the cause. She doesn't feel she can deal with it all. For some It can be great. With my daughter I had friends come around often to give me a break. With my son in a new town I was over whelm. Two kids, didn't know anyone in town, and didn't know my way around really well. And husband working a job different also. Split days off.

lateralus

just help her, and for gods sake!!! get her off the meds it will make things worse,try a natural cure

Can you take a couple of days off or something and let her go out with her gf's or something. Time for herself. Also, pray together. It really works!!

cloud9

This will not last forever but in the meantime realize you are responsible for the health & safety of your wife & baby. Have a family member stay with her when you are unable to. Insist she take her medicine. Call the therapist if you are concerned for hers or the babies safety. Dont take any chances. Love is not enough, you have to be smart too.

it's helpful , check it out :
http://www.postpartum.net/
http://www.psychguides.com/DinW%20postpartum.pdf

ericalsmith2004

This is very common after childbirth, it's postpardum depression. All you can do is reassure her she is a great mother and help her out every way you can. Maybe she can get a different medication that doesn't make her sleepy. A lot of women go through this.......check out Brooke Shields' book on it, it might hellp your wife!

cutipi_1977

You first of all are such a sweetheart!!

Maybe you could ask her mom or your mom to help out and take the baby for a couple of hours during the week for a couple of days or something. Maybe a little bit of TLC for the two of you would help, and have the baby stay the night with Grandma or someone like that, and take her out for a nice ADULT evening. Give her some extra space...sounds like she has baby blues.

Best Wishes, to both of you and your little one!!

~~HaVe An AwEsOmE dAy~~

JUST BE THERE FOR HER TO TALK TO WHEN SHE NEEDS SOMEONE TO TALK TO. HELP HER WHEN SHE NEEDS IT AND BE THERE FOR HER.

photoguy1967

get an 18 year old baby sitter to help her out....and then you can get the baby sitter to give you a massage too.

jasmine

She definitely needs professional help. Consider getting a babysitter, or family member to care for the baby when you're not home. Oprah had a show on postpartum depression, it can end up in suicide. Also Brooke Shield wrote a book about her problem with it.

ur a 10, pregnant & near level 2

When thinking about the depression, remember "this too shall pass." You should take care of the baby as soon as you get home - and let her get some well-deserved rest.

If her next appointment isn't for four more days, perhaps you should call him/her, and tell them that the medication is not working well. (Don't let them change her to a non-drowsy pill, because she does need the sleep). Support her as much as you possibly can, the way you would want her to support you if you became ill. Good luck.

dapperflapper

A lot of women get post partum, just be there for her. theres not a lot you can do otherwise.

twentythree

all you can do is be supportive and be there for her...make sure she takes her meds and continues to see her doctor and counselor...there are many women who suffer from severe cases of postpartum depression, learn as much as you can and deal with it with her...

http://www.dbsalliance.org/info/postpartum.html
http://www.4woman.gov/faq/postpartum.htm
http://www.marchofdimes.com/pnhec/188_15755.asp

the freakin' analyst

tell her how lovely the baby she delivered is. make up stories like the baby kept crying until he/she smelled a piece of her clothes...it's ok she'll get over it soon.

good luck :]

you know me..

I am so sorry to hear this .. you probably allredy know this is called post partum.. look I m glad to know you are a loving father and most of all a loving hubby.. MAKE HER FEEL LOVED..
Try taking out a couple of days off work if you can affort it... please try to have maybe a friend or relative stay with her it isnt safe for her to be on her own with the kids... It will get better.. but make sure she takes the medication no matter what..
DONT GIVE UP ON HER.. no mather how difficult times get...

I have tears on my eyes.. because when i was going through the same baby blues after my first child, my hubby turnd arround and cheated on me..broke my heart and life appart..

I WISH YOU THE BEST.. GOD BLESS YOU AND SOON EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE.. Keep on with the therapy... and dont fortget to pay alot of attention to her and make her fell LOVED....

Simmy

You said you would do anything. Try finding a job that has more flexible hours. Also take your wife out on dates without the baby on a regular basis. There should be family time and couple time scheduled. You need to be the one planing these things since your wife is unable to. Suprise her. Try to make things easier for her while your at work. For example when you get home clean the house and prepare the babies things so when your gone she doesn't have to juggle multiple things. I hope the two of you don't plan on having another child until she gets things figure out. She may not have really wanted to be a mother at this time or at all.

dream girl

I have been in your wife's shoes! Only my husband wouldn't take the baby when he got home, so keep doing that! Next you need to get her help pretty fast, before Friday. This will pass but you have to protect her and the baby until then. Doctors are more aware of PPD now more than ever. Can you take the baby to a sitter or a family member while you're at work? Take some time off work, as much as you can, until you get her the help she needs. Try not to get frustrated okay. And don't let anyone blow this off as the "blues".

JustMe

Read up on post-partum depression on the internet. I'm sure you will find lots of info.

SouthernKNC

I was sorta in the same boat. I had 2 kids and some days where better than others. My poor hubby was afraid to come home, it would never know what kind of mood I was in. I starting going out at least one night a week w/o any kids. That seemed to help.

If you have her going to a therapist that is a good start. She needs someone w/ connection to the situation to talk to.
And from what you said, you are doing what you can, so just keep it up. Depression is hard to deal w/....make sure that you are also getting some help. Find a support group to go to.

Good Luck, wishing all gets well soon.

ms.mary

She needs help immediately, Look the same thing happened to me and I did leave, I had a breakdown, the medications did make me feel the same way, but it means that she is still very very depressed. She is not thinking like herself at all so dont try to relate to her on that level, she is in a self-destruction mode. I went to a few doctors, the medicine didnt work, then I tried to kill myself, man I got real bad, unfortunatley, my husband wasnt there for better or worse and put a court order on me not to see my kids and left me in the street. Well needless I am still trying to see my kids through the courts with no luck. You need to help her, do not take it lightly, a very very serious matter. I couldnt remember my kids names thats how bad I got. Nothing would help me, I really dont know what to say, maybe put her in a good facility (if you have insurance) where she can stay and get councelling. I went to SilverHill Hospital in Connecticut, but you need insurance its very very expensive, but worth every penny Good Luck

Sounds like she is getting the medical help she needs and hopefully with time the depression will lift.
Your continuing support will make all the difference in the long run, I know it feels like a never ending road for you but it is important to keep your strength up while she finds her own. It can take time for some mums to adjust to her new routine, and be sure she is getting lots of rest. It could help if you offer her a nap when you get home, which will be gruelling on you as you have worked but again, for her it could make all the difference. Pamper her with especially run baths, you doing it for her so it feels like pampering. Her feeling special now is important to help rebuild her confidence, and help lift the depression.
I have never had depression but lived with somebody who has. Post natal depression is different but there is a relevance between all and that is the acknowledged support, pampering and making the depressed feel good about themselves.

I send my thoughts and love to you both and wish you both all the luck-it'll all work out...but be sure to not forget yourself either or you'll slip down there too. Rest bite for you now and again, or together. Get a babysitter and go out-TOGETHER!

island3girl

be supportive, see if you can get a family member or friend to help her out a bit and take some of the pressure off, and lastly watch for signs that she doesn;t want to her herself or the baby.
I fshe does show signs, then you must seek professional help IMMEDIATELY.

good luck

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