What do you talk about with marriage counselors?

When you're only going to improve your marriage?
My husband and I got married young (me 19 and him 20) a little more than 3 weeks ago. Well we would have liked to do the whole pre-marital counseling thing, but he was in Afghanistan for his deployment so we obviously couldn't. But last week he brought up the idea of seeing a marriage counselor to strengthen our marriage and stuff, and I think it's a great idea. But what do you talk about to a marriage counselor if there really aren't any problems yet? Like I could understand if we truly NEEDED a marriage counselor, but since we're just doing it to better ourselves, what all do you say to them? Or what happens during counseling? I really would like to go (plus hey, it's free from the army, so why not?), but i'd like to know what goes on before making appointments and all. Thanks :)

TSW

You want to know that you both are on the same page.
As far as children go. How discipline of the children will be handled, What is off limits as far as friends are concerned. Who will be responsible for birth control and how it will be handled. although
it can happen at any time even with the best control both of you need to know that. Let each know that there will be no hitting or swearing and no demeaning words said. That can damage your relationship. Remember those Words will hurt your relationship more than if you were hit , You can't take them back. You need to let each know how finances with be handled one of you need to deal with that. Saving accounts credit cards and cash on hand. you need to keep this open to both of you. No Large purchases with out the other knowing about it.
Each of you will need free time with out the other just consider it a time out but each of you will need it. Never keep a grudge
Never go a day with out saying i love you always kiss befor work and again before sleep. Do off the cuff thing for each other just for the surprise. always be willing to try something different. try your best never to let the relationship get into a rout. Be willing to talk at any time. always give a shoulder to cry on.( I'm sorry ) will be one of your best praises use it it come in handy. for both of you. never call for a time out or a break deal with it NOW.
Remember why you were attracted to each other in the first place.never forget it. Do a weekly date just for the two of you
Dream large in with determination you both will get there you just need to want it bad enough. Anything is possible.

I do wish you both the best.
TSW

oracleofohio

We did pre-marital counseling and it was great. You talk about everything under the sun to make sure you both know where the other is coming from. You'd be surprised at the things that are brought up. They might give you hypothetical situations to see how you would react. We thought it was fun, you learn a lot about yourself and the other person.

Seriously?

You talk about the issues in your marriage that you are unable to resolve with each other...they'll work on conflict resolution; communication and whatever else it is that you all feel you need to work on.

Remember - you are both still young and full of crazy hormones! There will be days you just want to whack each others heads off...those are the times the counseling tools will kick in and hopefully allow you to put aside the raging hormones and refocus on the TRUE issue at hand. Be patient with each other - I married young and patience is truly a virtue!

Good luck!

cvsspirit94

Personally I think they're a waste of money. If you two don't know you're own issues then maybe you should try to get to know them.

But if you think it's necessary, then by all means spend away.

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