What do you think is killing marriages these days?

BridalBiz

I think my generation (I'm 29) have been raised as entitled, selfish, and irresponsible people. Not to mention that very few of us have had to really fight for anything, so we generally hang up the towel instead of going for another round.

More couples fight over money than any other thing - entitled to buy what you want - selfish to buy it even if it means your spouse/household goes without something needed - and irresponsible by buying things you can't afford - amazing how that works, huh?

Your Highness

People being too selfish and lazy these days....if they don't like it, they just simply get out of it.

pat

Because it is easer to divorce then to work at maintaning a marriage.

charlie

communication and money.
If we had more of these 2 things I bet the divorce rate would plummet!

johnnysunshine11

Many things...the state of the economy, media influences, moral dilemmas and differing ideas of right and wrong. Rome didn't fall overnight just as our divorce rate didn't get so high within days or months. Expect the divorce rate to stay as high as it is or climb even higher. Do your part to assure your children a stable, comfortable environment where love is plentiful and morals shown and not just spoken about. Our own homes are all we can control.

Advice_Angel

Personally I think it's the fact that we have so much choice these days, take women for instance, they have the choice to work more than they ever have and therefore giving us Independence that we never knew some 50 or more years ago.

Add to that the pressure to keep up with others materially i.e. having the nicest house/car, or best job and it's a recipe for disaster if the marriage isn't solid to start with. Some people think that marriage is a sticking plaster, bit like having children, that it's going to solidify the cracks that are already there.

In my opinion, people lived in small villages, stuck together and didn't have the opportunity of moving on (nevertheless divorce and separation obviously still occurred), therefore valuing their vows and taking them on board.

deiracing8

because the attitude toward marriage now is till death do us part or someone better comes along. They think that their problems will be solved if they get rid of their spouse. Then they get into a new relationship and the problems start again. Marriage is 100% give on both ends and people don't want to work that hard. yes their will be good times and bad, but it is possible to get through. It just takes a lot of hard work.

dont feed the trolls

Stupid people not evaluating the situation before deciding to get married to someone they barely know.

Susan C

lack of communication...

Kayleigh

Stress, stress, stress

dingding

I think technology has made it easier to cheat, especially for those who would normally not have the guts to do it. Even just 20 years ago, there were fewer women in the workforce, there were no cell phones, no internet, no Blackberrys, no secret accounts. There are just so many opportunities and tools to make cheating easy these days, so only those who are truly committed to not cheating will avoid it. But as I always say, even if your spouse doesn't know you're cheating, you know you are, and you have to live with yourself. And your spouse likely knows something's not right and is frustrated.

People need to knock it off, and we have to support each other in avoiding temptation and encourage each other to keep our marriages healthy. You know those people who like to live vicariously though others and throw little "grenades" into other people's lives and then stand back and watch? We need to stop being gossipy and encouraging "drama" in our marriages...that's what we need to focus on.

berrygrl2004

I think people are getting married without really knowing each other. Also, over time people change. They want different things and they sometimes don't agree on the things they want.

Valerie (the other white meat)

Money troubles and too many people being swayed by feelings for others because they think the grass is greener on the other side. It's sad, really.

Nothingusefullearnedinschool

Society, the Government, the "educators", etc.
Society has become so jaded that nothing works. People are immoral, uncaring.
The Government will give aid to a single parent household; if a gal has 10 babies, each by a different father, she and her children can receive all kinds of assistance. If her husband lives with her, she receives nothing. On the 1040, 2 single people will pay a lower tax than if they were married. That is only 2 examples.
Schools teach Darwinism, Out of Africanism, Big Bang and other radical (unproven) theories and applaud money, big business and big government, but ridicule those who are hard-working, especially the stay-at-home moms.

cowboys2840

Lack of communication and being honest with each other

Summertime & the Living's Ea

I think just like all things are in our society these days, people want to be able to have it all. If they aren't happy with a car they get a new or better one, even if they can't afford it. If they want a house they get a bigger better one. People do not respect money any more, especially as credit cards began to increase in popularity. The problem is that if something isn't working out, like a house payment, they try for a while to fix it and then they get frustrated and foreclose. Same goes for marriage anymore, people are willing to try for a little while to fix it, but in this "me first" society they quickly give up and get a divorce. People are putting up with less and less BS and just saying whatever and moving on, but in the end they may realize that this behavior is really their own fault because the next person may make them happy for a while and then soon that marriage/relationship fails too. People need to learn to deal with each other. Life is TOO short to not love everyone and make an honest effort!! :)

Another answer to this question is given in a perfect example... look at this question... ARE YOU KIDDING???
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiVHkf9sHI61WAKbwXdB5tvB7BR.;_ylv=3?qid=20081120101322AAerXDu

Worthless Knowledge

There are a lot of good answers on here but I don't think you can sum up the majority of marriages failing on just one or two things. It usually takes a few or more problems to end it. Polls have shown that the most stressfull thing in peoples lives and the #1 cause of arguing is $$$$$. Followed by how to raise the children, remote controlls, in laws and the toilet seat. J/K about the last 4.

With the way things are today and society treating relationships so poorly it is natural for someone to question the stability of their little world. Television makes things worse with so many shows and night time dramas that promote cheating and infidelity. The entire institute of marriage has changed. I hate it personally. I was cheated on by my wife (whom I believed would never do that) while I was in Iraq. We had been together since we were in high school. Almost 7 years. I never thought that my relationship would fall into the modern day statistic of cheating and divorce. I was so in love and so surprised. I knew I was not going to be the one and I was convinced that she wouldn't. Now I doubt everyone. I try not to and I give my new wife way more trust than she gives me.

I also believe that the more society has pushed God out of their lives the more bad things are happening. God may not be the answer but it at least kept people from doing bad things, or at least to a minimum.

People don't stand up for their partners, won't "die" for them anymore. They don't see marriage as a life long journey but more as a game you can hit the restart button on as soon as things get hairy. People don't continually fight and try but expect the other person to do the work, or make up for something they did. That's just stupid! It is not a 50-50 effort, it is a 100-100 effort. I like ending on a silly little saying so I finish with a *sigh*.

Good luck to all who are out there that still belive in happily ever afters.

*sigh* again

Sparkle062510

I'll put it as simply as possible:

1. Lack of communication
2. Lack of intimacy
3. Money
4. Children
5. Work

I'm not listing them in any particular order, but these are 5 big things that come along with marriage. Each and every one of the listed items takes a tremendous effect on the husband and wife in one way or another. Most people when pushed to the limit just break and that's when all hell breaks loose.

Many people make the mistake of thinking marriage is this big fantasy where you have a dream wedding, have some perfect kids, and everyone lives happily ever after in a nice loving home.

Well, while i'm still all for marriage, people don't seem to realize that there's A LOT of work that needs to be done. Things cost money, children aren't always perfect and need to be raised properly, intimacy is important to keep your connection vibrant, and of course, if you don't have communication with everyone, misunderstanding happen, and that's when the fights break out.

Most people also skip out on the concept of time management. There's always time for each of the 5 things I listed above...but you have to plan accordingly. Many people have a habit of getting lazy or tired and when the slacking off happens (in the bedroom, at work, with the kids, etc.) then again, the fights break out.

Nobody ever said life was easy, but unfortunately many people take the easy way out. That being said i'm not saying that i'm against divorce...sometimes it just doesn't work...BUT, I do have a feeling that if people tried a little harder and put themselves out more, that my 5 listed items might improve....in which case, more marriages would survive.

To each is own really.

â™¥dreaneniâ™¥

I think couples are jumping into it too quickly. They aren't getting to really know one another. And they aren't truly in love. I believe when you truly love each other you work hard at it and you don't give up. Marriage is continuous work. You have to work at it. Divorce is the easy way out.

phoster

selfishness. today's world is more likely to think of things such as happiness, fulfillment and satisfaction. i think in prior generations stayed in it even when things werent good. i think it is a matter that people are more likely to leave now when a relationship isnt working.

anchorbabby

i think its that people dont appreciate anything now a days and they think well i can marry this person and divorce them whenever i want. and the fact that theres so much infidelity, people just get bored with their husband or wife or decide they want someone else.. its stupid and sad but people are stupid and sad now a days.

Paula D

Marriage is killing marriage. No one takes it seriously any longer. I don't think it means anything to the heart of people. It is something two people do, it's society that make everyone feel marriage is mandatory.

pikachu

i think there is all the usual stuff, cheating money, tragedy, etc, that a marriage cannot go on living when this stuff happens.

however, i do believe that it is more the fact that people don't take marriage seriously these days. have a fight? get divorced. don't want to share the same bank account? get divorced. can't trust your husband when he goes out with the guys? get divorced. it's ridiculous. and i would be the first one to get divorced if my husband cheated on me, been there done that (well, i was engaged not married but it's almost the same), but marriage is work. lots and lots of hard work that people do not want to do. you take a vow to be together, richer or poorer, sickness and in health , FOREVER. it's too easy to get divorced these days, and some people move on way too quickly. if you don't take a marriage seriously and put in the work it needs to survive, it will die. it is as simple as that.

devilish

Well ...if you look at the other way ...people are holding on to their marriages just for the sake of their kids or their financial needs ........When you put two angels/saints in one room ..they start to fight for all silly reasons ....one of them shud have no ego ..otherwise the breakup is inevitable....the main reasons that kills marriages is the the "EGO" of one of them ...and the "never say sorry" attitude....accept mistakes , say sorry, say i love you often, being nice are some of the ingredients of a succesfull marriages !!!!

mariahleadme

I believe that it all comes down to one basic thing: Selfishness.
Not putting others' needs ahead of your own.

My wife is always thinking of the family as a whole before she thinks of anything for herself. I, on the other hand, am not so good at that. I am thankful for her being so forgiving and understanding. But I am learning.
She is the most gentle, honorable, thoughtful, decent woman I have ever known, and because of the way she is, I want to do more for her. In fact, we are so busy trying to do more for each other that the "selfishness" doesn't have time to take root and grow!
I believe that is the key----putting others before you.

Trazze

Lack of morals.

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