What does this mean..please help...?

The Godless Heathen

If you feel this way, then staying with him is dishonest, and honesty is the cornerstone of a good relationship. I think you need to be honest with him and just say to him that you're ready to move on and either be alone for a while or find someone else. There is no way to do it without hurting him, and you probably already know that. If you've been with him for 9 years and then break up, naturally it's going to hurt, but isn't that better than going on living a lie, or waiting until you hate him and just can't stand to be with him? Besides, how long can you hold out until you eventually stray? Don't you think a little honesty and pain now is what's called for, and not dragging things out until you and he are both miserable?

aalkouri

Tell him how you feel, its good you guys didnt get married, now you know you would of regretted it.

Get out NOW, you only live once!!

Shikale

You want out. Its gonna hurt him anyway, but better to get out now than to get married and get a divorce yo.

It is definitely normal! You have waited a long time and now that you are losing interest, he seems more interested??? Oh c'mon! Just carefully consider all your options before moving forward.

Apple

Just be honest with him, don't marry someone because you feel you 'have' to, it wont be good for you or him. Honesty is the best policy in my books.
goodluck

R A

Honey go fishing. You marry that one you will get nine more years of famine.

yerLITTLEchica89

don't worry about sparing his feelings. it will hurt him more when he eventually does find out that you're living a lie. don't put his feelings before your own when it comes to the rest of your life.

amberâ„¢

sure its normal, im surprised you didnt notice this much sooner it took me 1 1/2 years and Im maybe about to turn over a new leaf if things dont change.

rojv

Wow 9 years is a long time. Well what can you do. If you're not sure about breaking up then have a talk with him and tell him you're feelings as far as not sure where you guys are headed and that your feeling like the spark has been lost in your relationship, maybe together you can figure out a way to relight it. If you've made up your mind you need to do the same really, you need to sit down and be honest with him. after 9 years he deserves that. Maybe you've just gone your seperate ways mentally etc. and better that you found out now than a marriage and 2 kids later. Good Luck

Iknowall

Well seems like you're going to have to get out. There really wont be any way to do it without hurting or upsetting him somewhat. You're just going to have to be honest and straight up with him...

muttonbone

Its time to move on. But good luck not hurting him. Especially after investing 9 years. Chances of that happening are extremely slim I'm afraid.

Bahos

When you Love there will be no more fish around.

Resilience

he didnt want to before when you did, now you dont want to when he does. If your losing feelings for him, then maybe he needs to step up his game or try a LOT of new things to keep a hold of you and make sure your eyes are on him. Tell him whats going on, and see how it goes from there. Either way something will work out.

roverpavlova

Sometimes when a relationship like your is in the death throws, marraige seems like a miracle cure. Let him go and move on with your life. Happy fishing

jack_98

9 years ? Are you kidding me ?
WAKE UP. LEAVE HIM NOW, and start getting yourself the relationship you deserve, preferably with a man (i.e. "grown-up") who is ready to act like an adult.

youreit

Tell him you don't want to hurt him. Explain you waited for years to marry him and he didn't want to...so it upset you and made you think...explain everything to him. He may react in an angry way, but you have to give him time, too, to deal with it.

Ever heard of wanting something until you have it, once you have it you don't want it anymore? Maybe...You were also younger then so maybe it was just you really wanting to get married and now you're more mature, older, and understanding life better?

lovin_temptation1

don't get married until you want to

Angel

Do you still love your boyfriend? If so than why flush 9 years down the toilet.

Why after 9 years have you not gotten married before now? You need to figure this answer out before deciding what is best for you.
It sounds to me that you accepted the fact your boyfriend did not want to marry you, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.

For you to be checking out other men is normal, you are probably feeling that why all of a sudden is your boyfriend wanting to get married, and you feel used.

Be honest with your boyfriend, discuss how you feel and why all of a sudden he is ready to get married is it because he thinks he is going to loose you?

Best of Luck

Sillyminnie

Don't marry him. Not yet, atleast. Wait a while, it doesn't sound like you want to spend the rest of your life with him.

Give it up

You can't leave without hurting him... Its like a bandaid you just rip it off and hope the pain doesn't last to long. It sounds like your relationship is at an end... Once you want to notice the other fishes your tank won't ever be the same.

xxKARENxx

ok well it seems that you guys are growing a part you should tell him how you feel because if you leave him he will be hurt but what you would be doing by staying with him hurts more. i think you should talk to him about it and you guys should decide what you want to do you guys can break up, take a break from eachother, do whatever you think is best good luck ... i hope i helped

ayybaybayy

yes that IS normal. i was wit my boyfriend and i checked out other guys. wat i mean is... if you dont want to get married then tell him.

JenRM_13

if he is HOT!! then dont dump him...but if i were u, i would just tell him not now and i would see what risk i would be taking..................................... i hope that helped
GL!!
G2G byes

elvisrocks

it may just be becasue you hvae been with him for so long that you want to try something new

nurseman916

First of all it's perfectly normal, especially after 9 years.
Don't marry someone just because you don't want to hurt their feelings.
If you want to be kind, break it off slowly, or just stay put, and you will find that "Something" will happen.
Either way, looks like the decision is between hurting him or hurting yourself. Honesty always helps too.

My 2-cents

Dreamer!

You don't want to get married to the wrong guy. If you still don't have strong feelings for him and you find our self looking at others maybe it time to break up. Yeah it will be hard, nine years! But its way better than breaking up after your married.

hope

i think its very normal...married or not. i look at other people as does my husband we are very realistic about it. I think its human nature and if you both feel this way then it only makes you love each other more. if you think you need time then take it. but be as open and honest with him as you can, if he truly loves you he will wait for you to be ready.

tenactaz

i think 1yr maybe 2 if ya arent sure by then chuck it. now mw and my wife went throuhg some things it took 3 1/2 yr and thats was a long time to me. my 2nd marriage, been divoced 9yrs. its a choice! you love him and he loves you , if not no excitment, no dreams no hope, no nuttin, move on, hurt him (MAYBE) he may want out and dont want to hurt you,
COMMUNATION

keke

Get out.........life is full of disappointments especially in the love department. He'll get over it and so will you.

would you want to be with someone who was with you only because they didn't want to hurt your feelings? I think not.

Be grateful you didn't get married. Let him go find someone who does want to be with him.

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