What is going on with my husband?

Violet Pearl

It's over
Change your locks, and get a divorce lawyer if you have kids or property

jewelsinme

it would be hard, but objectively, you should just tell him to take all the time he needs - but he won't get to come home to you while he does it. I hate to break it to you - but you're blind if you think there's nothing going on over at her house. Seriously. Sorry.

Answer Fairy

WHAT?!!!?!!?!? Why in the HELL would you want him? He IS sleeping with her. I guarantee it. She's an IDIOT for seeing a married man. He's just a plain retard. Do you really want to be with a man who doesn't know if he wants you?

No. You don't. Time to take a trip downtown to see a divorce lawyer. Seriously.

Libby

Yes they are sleeping together, don't let him tell you otherwise. Why is it up to him who he gets in the end? Make the decision easy for him and tell him if he doesn't seek marriage counseling with you immediately you're gone. Let them have each other, because he's obviously not worth your time.

Qyllix

Why are you sitting here waiting on him, when he just admited cheating. HE IS AN ADULT MALE STAYING WITH AN ADULT FEMALE HE HAS FEELINGS FOR! What about your feelings. You deserve and can do better than that. Pick yourself up, and while your at it pick up his clothes and leave them at the door. Good luck!

Billie

...you got troubes there honey. You're not going to "convince" anyone, except yourself. You need to convince yourself that your marriage is done.

Kenneth B

Listen, you need to tell him to make a choice, you or her. You are married!! What is he doing sleeping at another womans house? That is insane. If he chooses her, throw him out ASAP. Let him move in with her and you file for divorce. If you have children, file for custody and child support. Send him the message that you mean business.

http://www.thebadge.org

Mando

Marriage counseling NOW..

What he is doing is NOT okay and you SHOULD be worried about the fact he is "sleeping" at another woman's house...

pura_rosa

Look if you believe they are not sleeping together I have a bridge for sale, I don't mean to be cruel BUT people who are attracted to one another do not spend nights "praying or playing poker" if he has gone as far as admit that he has feelings for this woman is because they have a full blown affair, if you do not care about that and are willing to forgive and forget work on the marriage but keep in consideration that it seems HE is not interested in saving anything, if you however wish to find true love with someone that appreacites you and respects you enough not to cheat on you I suggest you divorce him and move on, why share your life with someone who can not be trusted and who has the gall to admit it!!!!

Lisa W

Dump him!

He's having his cake and eating it too. He's cheating on you. If she dumps him, he will come running back to you. If not, you may have a hard time believing and trusting him.

GraciousWarrior

Why are you giving him the option? I know you love him but, honestly, how much can he possibly love you?

pearl_hoff

you dont if he loves you he will stay if not move on

butterfliesRfree

You can't -- let him go. I'm sorry but if you allow this, you are allowing this type of behavior okay for the rest of your life with him......it will only get worse.

I've been married 25 years and if my husband did that to me ONE TIME, that would be IT.

thomasmedpt

Truthfully, you need to start thinking about protecting yourself, certainly get a lawyer and come up with a plan. This will help in 2 areas 1. you will be ready should he decided to go. 2. If you pressure him you can say your ready and have made up your mind. So have a plan of action for worst case.

I hope everything works out!

dingding

This happened to me with my first marriage...I can't tell you for sure that it's over, but you need to prepare for the worst if he's hanging out over there, especially overnight. Even if he's not sleeping with her (unlikely but possible), he is now emotionally attached to her and can't see her faults. It's a shame that this happens, I'm sorry it's happening to you. The good news is you'll be fine down the line, but you need to start taking care of yourself and not making all these allowances for him. It's you or her, and he needs to move out for a while, at a minimum. I assume you've suggested counseling? My ex only agreed to it when it was time to drop the bomb that the marriage was over. It was awful.

Portence Blitherschnork

It IS something to worry about. Even if he were not sleeping with her, ... and I'd assume he is, it is not okay.

You need to worry about you. How is this effecting you? Is he treating you right?

Unfortunately, you need to deal with this, and how you want to handle it isn't something you'll find on Yahoo Answers.

You don't deserve this.

â™¥Sophiâ™¥

OK this is a hard one for me because I lived through it...he actually left me for this other woman and came back for forgiveness 2 months later, not only did I lose respect for him, he got an STD!!!...serves him right! Point is yeah he left and came back...it's like that saying sometimes you have to let go and if it comes back it was meant to be and if it doesn't it was never yours to begin with...he realized what he had until it was too late.It is hard but if you do love him...as stupid as this sounds, be patient and only time will tell.

Princess Rebecca

I'd walk. He's treating you like a doormat. Life is worth so much more than wasting it on someone like that.

jolene

I think you should file for divorce, and in case he decides he wants you, he'll find a way to get you back. I know how painful this is for you, but you just need to put yourself in the first place because he won't. This way you get to see how much he cares about your marriage, and you put yourself in a position where you can decide whether you want him back or not.
If he doesn't show up, you've not shattered your selfworth & you'll feel good about having ended it first, and if he does, you get to dictate the rules. He probably is sleeping with her, but the answers saying you should just tell him to **** off aren't good in my opinion, because none of us know what your marriage was like before or if there were things you did to create such conditions.
So...Tell him you're giving up on you two.
But leave the back door open :)
He sounds like an @sshole, but I repeat, none of us know better than you do. The most important thing is to stay true to yourself and not let anyone walk all over you. You deserve respect, no matter what. There are some situations where it's okay to forgive infidelity, and then there are some where it's not. The most important thing is to not give him the impression that he can treat you like a doormat, and you need to be with someone who wants you as much as you want them.
I still think you don't appreciate yourself enough.
Happened to me when I was 21.
Won't allow it again. :)

Andrea W

Yeahhhh, I think that there's some issues here. He "says" there not sleeping together, but he's just saying that to try and make you feel better. Looks as if your marriage is over. Move on and find a better man.

he's definitely sleeping with her. he doesn't want to admit that to you right now because he doesn't want to ruin things with you in case he decides he still wants you. you're not going to convince him of anything as long as hes still spending time with that other woman. my heart goes out to you. that is so sad.

loving my life<3

your letting him walk all over you?!?...

this is when you tell him not to bother coming home anymore!

migamw

Dont be anyones second choice.Throw his sh*t out and dont give him a choice.You are pretty much saying this behavior is ok by letting him continue this crazy mess.Good Luck!!

Malikarma

You can't convince him he wants you. He knows very well he wants to play around. How can you accept that he has feelings for the other woman, stays nights at hers, and tells you, you have nothing to worry about. You are giving him the playing field and in not so many words allowing his behavior, so he thinks its OK and carries on while treating you as if you are a doormat without feelings. Give him an ultimatum without changing the rules to suit him. Looks like he wants out, or wants both of you. Get an answer from him, and be strong to deal with whatever it be.

koinoi

sounds like he is already done with the marriage and trying to move on

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