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gatsgrl
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Unfortunately, this problem's solution would involve more than just you taking action, but it could start with you. First of all kill your stepdaughter with kindness. Take her to dinner. Get to the route of the problem. She probably feels some sort of resentment b/c you "stole" her dad. Talk things out, be syrupy sweet and understanding. Next, talk to your husband. Let him know that his daughter is your daughter. That you're not asking anything of her that you wouldn't your own children. Let him know you need his support. Hopefully, when he notices how nice you are being to her, he'll be more apt to agree with you. Just remember it's human nature for a parent to take their child's side - even if they're wrong. You have to show him that you're all on the same team. Hope this helps! |
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Bill
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Your husband should be backing you up.
If the daughter drops her urchin by without advance coordination and your husband isn't home, just say "I'm so sorry...I have plans, it's too bad you didn't call." |
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curious hayley
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your husband should be dealing with her and hes wrong not to support you more and take her side over things. its natural that hes supportive of his daughter but this is stupid. do not baby sit her children anymore and if she tries to come over just say that you're a grown woman and you can do what you like, including not letting someone who was verbally abusive towwards you into your property. |
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Hoping he will bless me with #1
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Excuse me? She would get checked and fast! She wouldn't be coming in my house taking anything let alone dropping off her kids for me to watch. I would stop her right in her tracks and tell her about herself. I would tell her that I don't care if she doesn't like me, but she is not going to disrespect me in my own home. How could your husband allow this? Yes, she is a grown woman and she does have the right to say whatever she wants, but not in MY house.
She knows that she can disrespect you and that she has her father's support -- obviously if he won't say anything to her and he gets offended when you say anything. |
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xxsummerxx232
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Oh my gosh stand up for yourself im sure you are a grown woman as well don't let anyone walk all over you. Say something, people are not always going to like it but it's not about them it's about you.
There are too many selfish and disrespectful people out there and they need to be put in their place. But if you roll over and play dead everytime they are around then you are just playing along and letting them drag you along.
Don't take it frim this silly woman. ( i don't mean by arguing, i mean simply be mature and talk to this woman).
BEst of luck. |
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engineer46526
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your husband needs to get a hold of this situation and stand behind you! |
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Jo
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He needs to step up and tell her that she needs to treat you respect or she is not welcome in your guys's house.
The babysitting, you need to refuse when she just drops by. Tell her that she needs to call and ask. Tell her that you have an appointment to get to or you have errands to run and can't take her kid(s) with. |
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jstagirl1969
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i would certainly tell her like it is. tell her if she comes to "your" house she will treat you with respect and if she dont then tell her she isnt welcome there. tell your husband that you wont tolerate being treated like that by her or anyone else. tell her to find another baby sitter and if shes hungry suggest she go to the nearest soup line. if you continue to be treated like that nothing will change. you being a grown woman yourself have the right to do that too!! in the mean time keep the door locked so she has to knock on the door, and stop her from coming in. this will teach her some lesson that she should have been taught long ago.stand up for yourself and dont let this person treat you like that.. |
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Just Wonderin
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kick her out of the house |
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Kathy R
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It's your house too. Tell your husband if he wants to see his stepdaughter, he can go to her house, but she's no longer welcome in yours. Also, tell her if your son's video games aren't returned, you'll take her to small claim's court to get the money for the games. It's time for you to put your foot down and stop allowing this woman the upper hand. |
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anna
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Use patience and set some boundaries and then stick to them. Stealing shouldn't be permitted , but your husband is between a rock and a hard place. A grown woman speaking disrespectful to you in your own home should not be permitted and he should set the rules. Unfortunately, you knew this was part of the package when you married the guy, so now you must find a way to coexist... |
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SpiderDijon
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whoa! a grown adult would not speak to another adult like that. she sounds exactly like my husband's sister. she obviously has some enormous immaturity issues which may stem from her upbringing. you really need to talk to your husband about this. there's absolutely no excuse for her actions. she sounds more like a 12 yr old stepdaughter, not a 30 something. you need to have a serious talk with your husband about respect issues in the house. since he isn't reprimanding his daughter it's obvious he also has a lack of respect for you. i wouldn't put up with that crap. you may need to just sit both of them down together and tell them what you think and don't let them interrupt you. you could start by writind down all the things that issues to you so you don't miss anything, and then have a serious talk with them. you do NOT need to deal with that crap. |
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LadyCatherine
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First I would start LOCKING my doors so she can NOT just walk in.
She is 36 and yes, that is her fathers home and she should be forever welcomed BUT it is NOT her home any more.
When she walks in the kitchen and starts going through things. take what ever she grabs out of her hands. "did you want something..?" say to her. If she runs to daddy then have the three of you sit down and tell her how you feel..
She may be a grown woman but NO she can NOT say what she wants. Does that mean YOU can say what you want to her...?
I would NOT let her leave the children in your home with out asking you first. Block the door is you need to ... |
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Linda S
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When the step daughter speaks rudely to you and as your husband pointed out she is a grown woman give the crap right back be just as rude to her! If your husband says anything give him back his words" your a grown woman you can say anything you want" and remind him he said it first. As for the babysitting when the child is dropped off without anyone asking (never say yes if you are asked) drop him off at a nursery school that takes drop ins or hire a babysitter that you can drop him off at and when the S. daughter arrives to pick up the child tell her where to pick him up at. When your husband says something next time drop him off at his job or where ever he is and tell him you will not do this as long as you are being disrespected in your home. Don't back down and don't take the crap! And put locks on the cabinets and your sons door and when the S. daughter drops in to snack she will be disappointed and she will have to cry to daddy and you can smile sweetly and say all she had to do was ask. And say that about the babysitting when she complains that you took her child to a babysitter.
For everything, games or anything else that the grandson steals go nd buy it again and put it on your husbands credit card! and when he says anything tell him it was for the grandson. Because it was because of the grandson!
This is not even his real birth daughter? this is his stepdaughter from his previous marriage? Someones else's grown child? Is there someting that your husband needs to tell you. You need to ask him. What is the deal between you two? That he would allow her such liberties, such bad behavior. |
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C>/
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Pimp slap the both of them. |
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bri n
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You married your man and his family,but the truth is you shouldnt get in the middle of the father & daughter relationship.
Think about it ,if your husband said your child must be banned, you wouldnt like it.plus your husband needs to stand for you as well as his daughter.but you shouldnt try to put your husband in between yours and his daughter relationship.Try although very hard, but try to get along with her and tell her how you feel and ask her how she wants you to treat her and try to be the adult about it and not so much the child. |
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Girliegirl
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I would seriously be considering a separation. Any man that allows his "adult" daughter, and I use adult loosely because of her behavior, to talk to his wife that way has absolutely NO respect for his wife. If she ever just dropped by to leave the kids I would get my coat and shoes on and be walking out the door before she got out of her car. For your husband to let this happen shows that he doesn't care how you feel. I would have a hard time staying with a man that way. |
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Mr Nadine
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1 ***** slap
2 dont follow advice from parent trap as it only a film and not real |
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phillygirlz
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I had a friend who was in this exact situation. The daughter blamed her for breaking up her parent's marraige although both of them were carrying on an affair. She would never speak to my friend or acknowledge her when she went to see her father. When my friend objected the daughter told her this is my father's house that was paid for before you spread your legs and stole him away from my mother. Needless to say my friend was very angry and told her husband to speak to his daughter and if that did not work he had to stop her from coming over there. Well the father felt so guilty I guess he told her the same thing as the daughter. This is my house and I can invite my kids anytime I want. Their marraige did not last out a year.Now he is married to another woman. If your husband won't stick up for you the marraige is doomed. You can't fight City Hall by yourself. |
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sophs_ellie
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There is something really wrong with not only the stepdaughter but ur husband not backing u up, she shouldnt be allowed to say such things to u, and so u need to have a serious talk to him, as if he condones her behaviour, u r gonna get stuck, good luck |
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kitkat
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Your husband is suppose to be on your side at all times. Refuse to babysit her brat and put your sons games away when they visit.If your hubby is not home don't answer the door when she comes by. Personally I would leave the man and let him deal with his crazy family alone. |
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LASTBORN
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First, I will advise that you change your attitude towards her by telling her that you dont have anything against her person but that you just deserve some respect from her for your marriage and your person. Show love to her and her children, ask about her husband and call her to say hello to her when she is not around, Buy the same type of gifts for her children and yours. If she then continues, then report her to her husband,and then stand your ground that you dont want her in your house. |
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Larry M
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Make her leave it is you house And is she wants to be their she needs to show you respect. i have 4 kids from my first marriage and my wife now has no problem kicking them out if they get out of line and i do back her up. |
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Pattyboy
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Sounds like your husband needs to grow a set of BA!!S and stand up to his BITC! of a daughter......If I was in that position I would tell her were to go with her kids and tell the spouse where to go as well!!! You need to talk to your husband and resolve this ASAP or send him packing to his daughter's house...If that was my kid she would get her *** KICKED UP and DOWN 36 YEARS OLD OR NOT THAT IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR....SHE SOUNDS LIKE SHE IS 36 MONTHS!!! Did her daddy spoil her all her life its sounds like it or is he a widow and the daughter is just jealous because her father is with you.... |
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2008girl
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First of all, I would keep the doors locked when your hubby isn't home. this is YOUR home. If she has a key, then put a few slide locks on the doors, so it can only be opened from the inside. Then, simply don't answer the door!
Secondly, your hubby should be backing you up. He says she is a grown woman and can say what she wants, huh? Well, you are too, so have at it! If he questions you about speaking to her that way, then shoot that same excuse back at him.
Lastly, if this is the way she is, I wouldn't respond to her at all. Not in person, not in emails or anything. You can't manipulate what doesn't respond. If she is nasty this way and won't be nice, then don't have anything to do with her and I certainly wouldn't watch her children. How rude is she? Unreal. Good luck and hang in there! |
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Ken W
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two words................restraining order........................... |
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lenzix5
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Talk this through with your husband when your not mad. Act like you want to make it better and both of you plan a course of action. This should at least show him who's being unreasonable. Sounds like she resents you being there. You have a right to be upset but with the assumed age of the players I wonder if there's more to this story. |
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Chandler.
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It sounds like this girl is a mojar daddy's girl. If your husband is trusting her and sharing her more than he shares his private stuff with you maybe you and him need to talk about this situation. Is your husband telling the daughter the whole side of the story or just the part "The GRandson is banned from the house" what about the part where He stole the video games. If you do not agree with the way she talks talk to her and say "The way you have been treating me is not a way an adult would treat each other. Even though you are my step daughter doesn't mean you can treat me like crap." You just need to sit down the husband and the daughter down together and give them the speach. You will feel better in the long run. |
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QueenBling
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Well treat her the same way. Flat out give her a taste of her own medicine. In this case sounds that her medicine is to just ignore her and act as if she is invisible and if she drops of her kids say something like who are you leaving them for, I am not your babysiter and just leave and go do your errands. As for your sons games make sure that he puts his games away when the other kid comes over to visit. Your husband also should say something to his daughter like you need to respect the house that your in. Just ignore her .... avoid her... act as if she is INVISIBLE.... see how she will feel ....
Good luck |
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elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom
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don't babysit for her, tell her you are going out shopping, and go out shopping! let him babysit... lol! =) fooey..., that's just wrong to just dump the kids whenever you want... don't let her walk all over you, and she is wrong for cursing you out in email! husband needs a good **** whippin'!!! ugh... where is her mother, why don't she babysit??? =) |
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misspint
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Wow and I thought my step daughter was rude. Your husband really needs to put her in her place. My husbands daughter 23 is rude and uses me as the reason her and her father have no relationship. She works for my family business and I am 2 seconds from terminating her but can not mix personal issues with business. It is really hard when you have to deal with this type of family drama and I will keep not only you but my own situation in prayer |
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