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Blue_eyed_Angel
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The first step is for you to realize that you're worthy to be loved, and respected. Only when you truly know this can you start over in your search. As for the heartache part, only time can do that- trust me on this, I've been through it more times than I care to count. Don't try to hurry it up because that will just make it take longer. Our brains are funny that way, as long as you try to deny something it comes slamming back like a tidal wave. And last but not least, how you raise your little girl to be healthy w/o a father, is by being the best & healthiest person you can be yourself, and besides, as sweet as you are, you won't be alone for long. Good luck, sweetie, and be brave, you have people who care. God bless you!:) |
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JAZY
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i am still trying to figure that one out myself
sorry
but i wish the best of luck |
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Jessica
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explain to him you can not do it any more and then if that does not work..... make him not wanna be with you do things he hates..... no more good food make it taste like ****...... men hate that. ive been through this except the mother thing, and your baby.... mothers have instincts i know ya do use them. good luck girl |
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summer
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SUPPORT.....lots of it. she needs to know she is loved, beautifull and more. the more people around to make her feel better through this rough time the better |
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crazy_girl14
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if he is abusing you you need to report it and the family serves will put you and your daughter in a safe home and take him to jail. And for work you should try to find a job and apply for food stamps!! |
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riverhawthorne
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You have already taken the first step...and by the way you phrased the question; I suspect it is an abusive one....therefore you must proceed with caution; and protect yourself and your young daughter as best you can. There are agencies you can locate through the family courts that can direct you to someone helpful with further information. Do not attempt to confront him...there will be plenty of time to work out the details at a future date. Try to prepare as well as possible financially...and legally (through the family court system).
If you can't afford an attorney; this same agency will direct you to further services...and there are possibilities through the Legal Aid Society. The most important part of this is to line up a place known only to you. As I mentioned...the details can be worked out once you have removed yourself to safety. If this is not possible, then seek help from a women's shelter.
Take only those things that are crucial for you and your daughter's well being...everything else is "just stuff" and can be replaced. I know you aren't wealthy, or you would not be seeking advice through this venue.
You must never convey to your daughter any negative information about her father. Children identify with both parents...and telling her Daddy is not a nice man will only confuse her. As she grows older, make sure she knows it isn't her fault. This is your divorce...not hers. I don't have enough information to second-guess how possible visitation rights will develop. As she asks questions, answer them as truthfully as possible while being as objective as possible. Do not allow you personal feelings to influence you r answers.
File for Aid immediately afterward if you are not working or have no income. They will pursue child support for you, and at least you know you will have something to eat until you can get on your feet.
I had to make a lot of suppositions...but I suspect you are in a very serious situation...and the sooner you remove yourself from it, the sooner you can recover and go on with your life.
I wish you all the best; and hope this works out for you. Your daughter will provide your inspiration to keep going. |
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igotbuuurnd
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Leaving a relationship u are not happy in while your child is so young is the best thing to do and the perfect time to do it. If u stay just so shell have a dad, she will soon sense that u are unhappy. She will see u both at your worst. Fighting and crying in front of her will damage her for the future. If u stay, she will grow up seeing how miserable u were and think that she is suppose to stay with a guy that makes u unhappy just because there is a child inolved. For the young ones sake, the best thing to do is take her and move on. Kids adjust easier than u think.. and I know this from experience. If I could do things over it would be alot different for my kids too.. GOOD LUCK> I KNOW ITS NOT EASY BUT U WILL B GLAD U GOT HER OUT OF THERE> u will find someone who truly makes u happy and she will like him cuz she will see u happy again.. DO the right thing here, shes learning from u.. |
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mlm1975
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GET OUT NOW - therapy later The House of Ruth has some help |
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hevenleangel
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Get out...
Children learn by example, they don't always do what we say but they will do what we do. Just by getting out you will have taught her how to be a strong woman, and stand up for yourself. Healing your broken heart is another thing that will probably have to wait until you are out of that relationship and in the process of starting a new life... |
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?
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To realize it is a unhealthy relationship.Find a place to move ,get utilities on and leave. |
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knowitall4now
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the first step is to become independent and show your daughter
that she too does not have to depend on anyone to survive in this world, then show her the beauty of loving another person for no other reason than love it self. |
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KB
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break up, move out, get counseling, and surround yourself with family and friends who love you who can help you through the rough times... and be there for the good times. |
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aftermidnite
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To get out of an unhealthy relationship, you pack up your 2 yr old once you call the women's shelter. They will counsel you, provide legal service for free, get you a job and a place to live and meanwhile your child will be taken care of. She will have other kids just as you will have other women to talk to who have been through it and can advise you. Life is way too short to be unhappy. You don't want your daughter to stay in this unhealthy relationship because she will begin to think it is normal. She knows nothing but what you show her. Good luck in your adventure and don't get hurt!! |
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gnphyd
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Get divorce. Look for a decent, dignified and well paid job. Dream something for your daughter, have short term and long term goals. You will see success and happiness for yourself and your daughter. |
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shrutikirti15
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Dear friend,
First of all come out of the past and open the window and doors of your heart n mind. You will feel the warmth of sun and tender touch of air.You can raise your kid effectively you dont require anyone. Trust yourself and go ahead.Teach her good values.........
Take care |
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Nay
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dont even think about that.....just LEAVE...get your daughter and go...if it is that bad then you need to forget about him, forget about the future and just go...good luck |
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cedykeman1
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Getting out of a unhealthy relationship is going to be tough. The physical getting away is always easy, and finding a new love is easy. Finding a way to justify it won't ever be easy.
In the book of love there is one rule which is never easy. It hurts bad when you break up. It always hurts and I'm sorry but there is no magic advice. One good thing though, time heals all wounds. |
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acmeraven
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You first have to admit to yourself in all honesty that you may have done something stupid and are in an unhealthy relationship. Find somebody who is older and wiser to talk with and determine a course of action. Don't forget that the father will be required to pay child support until your daughter turns 18; which can be banked for a college education for her. Broken hears mend in about six months time. |
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browneyedgirl
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You're past the first step, you acknowledged that it is unhealthy. The second step is often to get rid of any guilt about getting out. Nobody benefits, even the person who on the surface is not getting hurt, from an unhealthy relationship. Frustration festers and destroys everyone. Passive aggressive communication develops, and no one is truly happy. There is constant stress. Get past the second step - guilt - and get out. Healing just takes time. Feeling at peace with the decision will help shorten the time. And don't deny the pain. Just because, on the whole it was unhealthy, does not mean it had absolutely no comforting aspects. |
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suepooh
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Take your child and leave----time will heal your heart---your daughter will be fine--- |
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jojobean217
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children are resilient. they bounce back faster than we do. just give her unconditional love like a mother should and surround her with people who love her. |
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Talithakoum
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Get your stuff together and move. I don't know your situation financially. Lots of kids make it without a father and a mother around, and they turn out just fine. Make sure that they are getting all the attention that they need and the love. All ways show unconditional love. |
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cristanine
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leave Asta La vuista |
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aunt_beeaa
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Just because you leave the unhealthy relationship doesn't mean the child doesn't have the right to a relationship with her father.
If you cut the child's father out of the equation you would be very selfish and it wouldn't be fair...No matter what your feelings are in regards to the father....let your child continue the relationship and YOU move on....
Conversations between you and the father should only consist of the well being of the child you both created together...other than that.....YOU MOVE ON....and HE MOVES ON> |
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ayoutalken2me313
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well i locked my bf out when got to be to much out sight out of mind |
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Claira Voyant
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Depends on what you mean by unhealthy. If he is abusive, then by all means just leave. Your local government can help you with a place to stay, start by going to the county human services and asking for help.
If it's just no more fun at home, try building on your relationship by talking openly about how you feel. Tell him that you need to talk this way, and try to remain calm and don't argue, If communication breaks down, as it probably will, back up and take a break for a while. Then try again later, maybe the next day, and keep working on it. A mended relationship is wonderful, as you have learned how to keep love alive.
Please don't keep your child from having a "father". He might not end up being her biological father, but a future love interest of yours may be a wonderful father figure for your daughter. Men aren't all bad, even though when life is at a sad point it may feel that way. She will grow up just fine however things work out with your love and encouragement.
Remember, life goes on and it is great! The bad days make the good ones easier to appreciate. Don't give up, you will meet someone new (if your current relationship ends) and he will be better because you have learned from this relationship, right?
Good luck to you and your daughter. |
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jeff402006
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The first step is to open the door the and walk out and your child will be fine aslong as you love him or her..... |
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♫♪♥PUSSaY FART♫♪♥
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same place here.. just leave.. and you will soon see that each day gets better and better. one good parent is better than none. |
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