What is the norm for how often couples's see each other?

GambitGrrl

Each relationship is different. For this guy, it sounds like it was too much too soon.

Frankly, it would be for me too. I do think that it's too much too soon.

I dated a guy, and even a few months into our relationship, I saw him 2 times a week at the most. Spent some weekends with him, but he had a very busy social life beyond me, and spent a lot of time with various friends. I was fine with it.

They guy you were with probably likes you, and didn't want to hurt you, but maybe did find you to be a bit smothering and perhaps got scared he was getting roped into something he wasn't really looking for so soon. He probably thought that telling you he just wanted to hang out alone that night, or that he wanted to see you a bit less for now, would just result in you getting upset and breaking things off anyway.

But it also sounds like a convenient excuse. He's probably is just not ready for a relationship; at least not one as serious as you want it to be so quickly!

He might just be looking for some one to date casually. See once a week or so. Maybe talk to during the week. But since that's not what you wanted out of it, he thought it best to let you go now.

I don't think that what you want is unreasonable, but some guys just aren't going to be comfortable being with you 4 nights a week that early on in a relationship. Others will.

You just have to find someone who's on the same page as you, or someone who's close and compromise.

Edit:

And perhaps you need to sit back and not go so fast.

You said yourself "After some convincing." you went out with him. So why did you allow yourself to get THAT attached that quickly?

That's probably one reason he got cold-feet. That's just way too fast to get that attached to someone!

Tryna-Hyde

married people, well at least those of us in the married and divorced section, see eachother every day.

Annabella

I hate to say it but it sounds like he's just not that into you. I was very stressed when I started dating my husband because I was juggling too many things at once, trying to deal with my career, commuting long hours, maintaining my separate life at my own place, etc. But I did it anyway. I did everything in my power to see him at least 5 times per week, usually 6 times, because I wanted the relationship so bad that I somehow made it work. So is he stressed out? Is he dealing with too much? Is he exhausted & you're demanding his time?

It doesn't really sound like that. Him saying "you're in the way" would suggest that every time he turns around THERE YOU ARE. It's like he's annoyed. That's what it sounds like. And that would suggest that he's not really into a relationship & he feels like you're clingy & needy.

openminded

You dont match up so end it. He may have just said that becasue he wanted out and that was a good reason. Dont contact him.

Roberto D

well...when one is dating ..I would say ..about 3 to 4 times a week..is ok...for next step..is moving in together or getting married...and that is
seeing each other everyday ofcourse.

Angela Hiler

Most married people see ea. other everyday

minpin

sounds like he got cold feet. Some "people" prefer to keep things simple, which is fine, but if you are looking for more, better to find out early in the relationship.

Ya-hoooooo-oo!

I know it is hard to not be insulted by this, but it takes a couple of weeks before getting to know if you are truly interested in somebody.
He may have just discovered he is not interested in you. Just look at like this, at least the relationship ended in three weeks rather than three months or three years. It has nothing to do with you, it's just preference. Do not adjust what you want, stay the same, you will find exactly what you are looking for eventually.Just read "he's just not that into you" It will change the way you look at these situations.

Insert Clever Name Here

All that means is that you are not finding the right guy for you. Some guys will feel smothered while others want more; there are very few guys that think that is just enough. It happends with us all; finding the perfect person is the hardest thing you can do!

librariesrule

Most people take it a little slower than that at the very beginning of a relationship. One easy way to tell if you are on the same page - are you the one making all the plans? Or is he initiating getting together too?

bperez2002

you should not apply it to everyone, maybe you were crowding him an made him uneasy, some people love the closeness and want to spend every minute together

Sandy Ego

You are generalizing. It's not about how people date "these days", it's about what the two of you are comfortable with in a relationship. It sounds like he might not be as much into you as you are into him, and thus he doesn't have the need to see you as much - whereas you want to see him often. So you come off as needy, and it's a further turn-off for him. It's always great when the two people want to see each other about the same amount of time, but it doesn't always work this way. Different people have different needs. I would guess that him saying that he's a "loner" is just an excuse; he may be a loner, but bottom line is, when you meet someone you're REALLY into, you want to see them often, loner or not. It seems to me that while he may enjoy your company, he doesn't enjoy it so much where he'd want to see you more than once or twice a week. What you make of it is up to you; you could always back off, let him initiate dates (at least for a while) and see if you guys can grow closer over time. Or, it could even be that he's had enough of you and wants to break up, but is too chicken to say it directly; I don't know. In any case, I would stop contacting him and let him contact you; if he doesn't, you have your answer - he is not interested.

Happy-2

I see my wife every single day, except for once or twice a year when she takes the kids to visit their grandmother for a few days. You do realize you asked this in Marriage & Divorce, right?

lizzy b

you need to find a guy that loves spending time with you as much as you love spending time with them. And you may think there is no way a guy could want to spend that much time with me. Well it is possible my ex didnt want alot to do with me and now i got someone who wants to be with me all the time.

well i see my girlfriend everyday and we are doin just fine. ive seen her like everyday for 3 months now so just depends on the people i guess. Hope this helps.

somewhatok

Guys dont like girls calling the shots so early in the relationship. Can you blame him? He barely knows you and you're expecting him to spend even MORE of his precious time with you?What will you be like when you're actually SERIOUS??

I dated my husband ( then a single working man) maybe 3 , 4 times a month. Now he gets to be with me everyday.

Read "The Rules" by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.

It may help you in dealing with men in the future ( basically not make a fool/***/harpy/clingy or any of those impressions of yourself)

Now What?!!

If a person is feeling you they will want to spend as much time as possible with you. In the beginning of a relationship you should take your time and really get to know the person before you invest so much time in them.

surfchic829

You shouldn't have to change the way you like to date just because some "loner" doesn't want to see you that much. Forget about him and don't change a thing about you. There is nothing wrong with you or the fact that you want to see a guy that you like every day. That is normal. If you meet someone who feels the same way it will be amazing. Don't give up on love! There is someone out there for everyone.

europe

if you see each other daily this shouldn't be a bad thing, by contrary

Ned N

There is no set amount of times to see or not see each other; itâ€™s predicted by moments in life, i.e. work, personal time, family and friends. Each compartment has it's time and when you add another person to it then it becomes part of your cube. I wouldn't change a thing on your part, it seems like it just didn't work out as far as what your expectations where and his own agenda. The secret is people by nature are attracted to people who are happy, and when you show that you are sad or depressed people seem to look the other way. So the best thing to do is just live your own life and enjoy the heck out of it. Don't pay any mind to anything else and in time people will start to flock around you. Be in control of your own domain. Good Luck.

Nikki L

4 nights a week seems normal to me, he just sounds like he didn't connect with you or something.

Ricky

Could be every night or 3 or 4 times per week depends on how horney the couple is for one another.

*CeLiNe~FrEnChAdO*

sounds like he thought he was ready, when he really wasnt...
then he realized it.
you could give it more time and keep those hopes at the highest,
or...let him go.

Stacy's Mom

â€œToo muchâ€ is different for every person.

FYI, this is a dating, not a marriage question. Married people generally see each other every day. I have no idea what dating is like these days.

Phantom J9 Baby Girl DUE 6-09

when my now husband and i started dating we spend everyday together, anytime we weren't working, we were together... and now we' re happliy married and spend alot of our time together when we're not at work.

Just sounds like this dude didn't want to have to loose his quiet time for you...

Its ok, you'll eventually meet a guy who wants to spend just as much time with you as you do with him... everyone is different.

Best of Luck.

EDIT:
Also, if your heart is broken after 3 weeks, that make be another indication that you need to slow down and that can easily scare alot of guy... wow, yeah, sweetie, slow it down.

krissylyn

3 to 4 times a week after 3 weeks is a lot. I would say, twice a week, once on the weekend, and once during the week is average for the first couple of months.

I suppose it depends, though, on how much else you've got going on in your life though.

SGT. Dillers Wifey

I agree that he sounds liek he isnt ready. Find someone who is like yourself and willing ot put in the time. 4 nights a week is not to much.

chucknorris

There's no "norm", it's different for each couple. For me, it's usually spontaneous - sometimes it's twice a week, sometimes it's almost every day; depending on what we're doing and what other things are going on with us. If he had to tell you directly that you were "in the way", then whatever it was you guys had going wasn't working for him. I'm guessing you were calling him all the time wanting to meet up, and he wasn't ready for an involved relationship. Just because his friends "like" you, doesn't make you two compatible. Are you finding yourself to be the one always initiating contact? Stop calling him, let him call you. Perhaps he simply isn't as interested in you as you thought he was. If he wants to date you, he'll call you, I guarantee it.

amyâ™¥baby

It depends on the couple, truly. Some people really click right from the start and want to spend every waking non-working hour together. Other times people want their space until they become more comfortable just doing "nothing" together. I mean, it's unrealistic you'd go out 4 nights a week unless one of you is making a lot of money. I think you should take it slower next time and let the guy do the work for you - sounds like your over-zealous personality might be a little overwhelming for the guys you're falling for.

Courtneyy :)

Maybe it was just him. A lot of other people like spending time with one another. Maybe he was just to busy with his life that he didn't actually need or want a girl i guess.

Jules

I think so. twice a week would be plenty.

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