What is the secret to a long lasting and a happy relationship / marriage?

srracvuee

i would have been married 65 years but my one person in this world passed on 7 years ago and i can tell you its got to be a case of love each other every day and never ever stop putting your arms round each other and just saying i love you and its not until your parted you really know what its like to be all alone

?Shannan?

I am still looking for that secret too. My grandparents were married 50+ years and my other set of grandparents were married 25+ years. I don't know how they did it. My husband and I have been married 12 years and we act like we have been married 25. Things change over the years of "being together" and it just isn't always the same. I think that is what hurts alot of relationships. One or both get tired of the way things are and want something different and new. That is just my thought. I'm sure it is different for all people. Sam

redpeach_mi

it's different for every couple. things that might work in one relationship might not work in another. relationship are difficult things for everyone. somewhere along the line they all have problems. the ones that last are the ones that want to last. the people who are willing to work for what they want and will do whatever it takes to keep it together. if that means giving that other person space, that's what you do. maybe it's counseling. don't ever be too proud to ask for help.

lexi L

I love that some answers say to "communicate". Yes, I think this is important, but not every little thing. Women, stop nagging and demanding everything be done only your way, and men, tell your wife something awesome about her every few days. (We love that!) Oh, and you should have a pee-your-pants-laughing moment everyday. Also, money isn't everything, live in a smaller home and drive a car that runs, this way you will have time for movies, camping, and Saturday mornings!

jos e

When two people give to each other uncondititionally thats a perfect receipe for a long lasting relationship.

The more that you give the more you love that person. The perfect example is with a child. For the first 5 years of their life the parent only gives gives gives!, the child is not able to give in return other than a smile and laugh.

What happens is that giving parent loves that child more and more as time goes on by their unconditional giving.

Same with a couple, all long term healthy relatinships are usually beause of tons of giving on each side.

imask8r

To keep your marriage brimming
With love from the loving cup
Whenever you're wrong, admit it
Whenver you're right, shut up.

and ..marriage is not a 50/50 proposition...you both have to give 100 percent

star_north_2006

First, before you marry someone, it is important to be a whole person. That means you are happy in yourself, socially adept, respectful of all people and have self control. Then you need to meet someone who has the same qualities. Then each person should be committed to marriage - divorce should never be an option.

Then you must be patient, understanding and considerate. You must always use your imagination to keep the relationship in a higher spiritual level. You must never make significant unilateral decisions. You must have at least one fun hobby or recreational activity that you and your wife share together and with no one else. Neither person should allow negative thoughts about each other to enter their consciousness or leave their mouths. You both must take care of yourselves, physically, emotionally, spiritually and intellectually as well as financially. You both must learn to forgive and to set an example of what to do. And you must be emotionally intimate and gentle with each other. The man should spend quality time with his wife each day to listen to what she has to discuss without judging her. And the woman should honor her husband by being trustworthy. loyal and honest (this goes for the man as well). It is alot and it is not easy but it is worth it! Read Ephesians for God's model of marriage.

foxy86

trust honesty empathy passion and afection

sweety

you should trying being eah other's friend? if for once, their is developed that friendship than your relationship will survive in bad weather also but given that you have a good spouse.

bunya00

My parents got married when my mom was 16 and my dad was 19. For no other reason than they just loved each other. On Halloween, they will celebrate their 36th anniversary. It's trust, honesty, ALOT of space when it's needed and above all communication.

Chuck M

Been married since 1962. Respecting one another's privacy. And Honesty.

taz c

Give & take, compromise, keeping it exciting.

corina c

well i would love a long lasting relationship. I feel from what ive learnt from my mistakes is having respect for each other,supporting each other, having your own time alone and together and trust.
all of which i never had in my past relationships and why im still single.

john b

Humor, communication, trust, love, honesty, and devotion.

Dr Watson (UK)

Don't think marriage is the end of your own personal growth (this were giving space comes in) and don't look upon it as your partner's responsibility to keep/make you happy and most of all DON'T WATCH SOAPS - especially Eastenders!

bumkin

My grandad reckons its these things
1. marry the right person!
2. Know you could never be without them
3. Talk... Talk... Talk
4. Never think the grass is greener
5. Never go to bed on an argument
6. Learn when to give in x

Violet

I don't know that there's one secret, although good communication is vital. And we forget that communication isn't just talking! It's body language, too!

I think the key is really getting to know your partner and understanding him or her. It's allowing that person to get to know you, too. Melding, adapting, cooperating, compromise, and of course, love all are key elements in great, long lasting relationships!

don't be rude.

well i'll be damned! ive never seen a post in here get so much attention... i think you asked the question of the day, that everyone has an opinion on!

i think the most important thing to realize, in order to make sure that your marriage will stay together, is that the infatuation phase will end... and after that you need to have solid communication and a DESIRE to both be in the relationship... you have to continually want to grow together, and be willing to change and be patient when your partner is the one who needs to change, and i think above all it has to be a 100% commitment from both sides that only death will part you. if you make room for divorce in your life than it WILL happen, without a doubt. you can never have that in the back of your mind as an option.

its not about marrying the one you love, but loving the one you marry...

for those who do not believe in the "sanctity" of marriage, then you are doomed and should not marry.

meme

c...o...m...m...u...n...i...
c...a...t...i...o....n

waiting for baby

ask why do people get divorce and do the apposite
I tell you the secret of a good marriage
is to always pay attention to your mate, listen (both party) I don't say agree I say listen, and Respect
because I divorce my X because he never listen and always criticize the decision I made and other around him made
my 2nd husband is the opposite he is willing to learn and we always apologize after we had a fight
So the secrets are
Attention to your mate (will keep the love hot)
Listen (will avoid repeating oneself & fight)
Respect (will insure not abuse, cheats and fights because you will not cheat on someone you respect at least you will think twice about it nor abouse that person certainly is show respect for your mate less chance of fighting)

Trust, honesty, patience, understanding

didn't work for me though

eagleusaf72

Trust, Communication, Humor, Everything that makes a relationship good can be better in a mariage. Love

The BudMiester

I`ve been married for 27 years and I think it`s
having the same sense of humour and the same interests. A bit of give and take, and trust and respect. It seems to be working for me and my old man!

barnowl

Well it was my 27Th yesterday,love,understanding and communication,and don't forget tell her/him you luv them

aquarian

Its love which makes both of them to compromise,to share,to sympathise and care for.So love in any marriage is important.

Think of the other person first and don't think of separtation or divorce as an option. I can list all sorts of other things that are important, it would take more time than you have to read the answers and more space than Yahoo wants me to use but...these are the basics. If you both try to look at things from the other person's point of view, if you are both more interested in pleasing the other person than yourself and neither of you think there is an easy out (like divorce) when a problem comes up you can stay married for a long time and yes be happy, very happy.

â™¥ Karen â™¥

Loving each other of course, giving each other space is a good one and learning how to accept that person as she/he is.

Marti M

I don't think people really know what goes on behind closed doors in a relationship. A lot of people are together for years and years, and they seem happy to the outside world, but they might be with a mate just because of inertia.
In the past people married very young, before age 20 even, so it became such a habit to be with this other person that they would not even consider leaving them. That's what they probably mean by adapting to their new life together.
You really need to be happy with yourself as an individual first and foremost, then it helps if you and the person you are with have common goals.

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