What is wrong with my husband?

Sparky

welcome to the life sentence he has given you. He is never going to let it go and you have spent 19 years waiting for him to. I am sure after 19 years of this that he has taken your self esteem and confidence away as well. You can stay in the marriage and he can sweet talk you to stay but the reality of it is he is still mad at you for what you never did wrong. Until you talk to someone he is going to have full control over you. You have probably defended his actions over the years, you need to stop that too. Go talk to someone professionaly and start getting your life back.

â™¥The Mrs.â™¥

He still thinks you cheated and is still hurt...whether wrong or right, he has been hurting for 18 years.

Its time to talk to a counselor.

Rx4u

It's his way to think he's "won" the argument to shut you down. You have given this man over a quarter of your lifetime and you feel like you have to beg him? He should be grateful to you for all your love time and support. Don't let him put you down.- Just don't argue with him when he makes a comment. Just say something like, would you like some tea? And then get up and leave the room and go make yourself some tea and get away from him. He sounds like he is edgy and unpredictable. Just don't engage with him when he makes those nasty remarks.

JellybeanLOVER

Maybe some couples counselling could help.

Good luck

Psycho Therapist

All in 2 words. Self respect. Get some. tell him to F*ck off. He sounds like an emotional vampire.

Suspend me PLEASE

you are in a situation that i was in only 3 months ago.

he knows he can play the "i don't need you" game after each fight and you fall into his hands each and every time he brings up this subject. Why do you think you need to run back to him each and every time (apart from habit). He knows that's you. He is nasty to you most likely for a attention of some kind (mental, maybe physical) and you come running back.

You need to start focussing on yourself. You love him more than you love yourself

Start to go out with female friends, buy yourself some new clothes (maybe no brand new - maybe get on freecycle or even st vinnies if times are tough - I'm well off - well my husband is - and I go to these places - it means less landfill for mother nature) so you have something fresh and new to wear. Love yourself again and watch him love you too

I am a public speaker for girls in public education and one thing I tell all them about boys is treat them like puppy dogs. Teach them what is acceptable and what is not. If you let your puppy sit on your lounge and then try to get him off when he is a dog, you'll have a hard time. If you teach the puppy from when you first get him that sitting on the lounge is not acceptable, he doesn't try to sit on the lounge in the first place. Maybe men are not dogs but this theory works for women and men and it basically means that you expect certain behaviour.

I know you have changed since you were young and you were probably less secure back then and let him get away with a lot more but be the strong women you are with your friends, work with him and he will have more respect for you.

Good luck

TQH

I don't know, take a vacation apart from each other, reflect on the things that attracted you to each other then focus on them.

Find some things that you have in common or create some. Make sure these projects are goal oriented so you can stay on the same page until they're completed.
Life is short and people change, try to change together.

Molly F

Control like that is a type of abuse. Get marital counseling and if he won't go with you, go alone. You need help.

broker472000

It seems after 19 years..you would be used to his Mouth by now..and his attitude...Be happy...

Katie B

He is used to acting like the baby and you taking him back and conforting him. He enjoys it. You need to stop brushing things off that hurt you and conforting him over the little things you do in retaliation to him. YOU need to act like the victim you are for a change, so that he can see what he's doing to hurt you. Then he can stop and ask for you back, not the other way around.

I used to be like this, I would brush everything asside that my boyfriend said to me that was soooo sooo mean :( and then sometimes he would get mad at me for being upset over the mean things he said and I would end up apologising to him and making him feel better. THAT'S WRONG!!! So eventually I stopped, I didn't try to hide it anymore and I got upset. Now he feels really bad when he says stuff and fixes it immediatly :) it's great.

otherwise try counciling, or let him know you won't put up with his crap anymore. That you love him but it doesn't seem like he loves you the right way, he should trust you and forgive you.

anyways good luck!!!! :).

bestcopever

Being extremely possessive and accusing you of infidelities are both signs of abuse. He may not have hit you but it's not okay for him to assault you verbally either. You don't have to allow anyone to make you feel bad about yourself. The ball is in your court and you have to decide if this behavior is something you are willing to allow. I personally believe everyone should be treated with respect by their spouse. Why beg him to forgive you when you haven't done anything wrong. The two of you might benefit from counseling. If he is unwilling to go, you would benefit in going by yourself. It could help to empower you and help you realize your self worth.

Cameron

i would agree, you should take counseling, and have something to make his mind get over w/e happened 19 years ago you have to prove to him that your not lying. you guys should start all over. start fresh. pretend you just got married. and are happy again.

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