What issues did you experience when first living together and getting married?

avi

It's too late for you now, but I recommend other engaged couples to get married at the courthouse. I did and it was so stress free and really pleasant. I have absolutely no regrets about not having a big wedding. I'm sorry you both are stressed about the wedding but just remember that it will be over soon and then you can get back to your real lives.

Nebraska Born and Raised

Criticism from other people.

Amanda

calmly tell her how you feel. planning a wedding is very sressful. the wedding is normally done mostly by the woman. Maybe try to help her more with the planning. learning to live together is also an adjustment . It is hard to start to live together. before you did not have to share and compromise. Now you have to figure out how to meet in the middle, and learn boundaries. It used to drive me insane when my boyfriend would constantly drink out of my can of pop no big deal right?? Then I realized that it wasnt the pop but it was that i was sharing every little thing with him, it took me awhile to adjust my perspective,cause he was sharing everything with me also.

One thing you might try that we do is a date night. It is easy to get stuck in the routines of every day life. make sure that you squeeze in some fun.
good luck

dwstargzr

The wedding plans took up much of our time and effort also, especially when we got closer to the wedding. It seemed like we were arguing all the time and it was exhausting. At some point we joined theknot.com and every so often they send out emails with a highlighted article. One of them had something I really took to heart - set aside at least one day a week where you go on a date and don't say one word about the wedding. It was really hard the first couple dates, because everything really was about the wedding. But once we started biting our tongues and not talking about it, our relationship improved a lot and we weren't arguing so much. (granted, we did still a bit) I have to say though, after the wedding, it took about a month to die back down. So, what you're going through is totally normal and just give it time after the wedding for the hype (if you will) to die out a bit.
Now, we're just happy as can be!! And I'm sure you both will be too. Best of luck on the upcoming marriage!

silly_duck96

Get the problems fixed before you get married. And know that neither of you will change with marriage. You have to ask yourself if you can accept his flaws forever.
My husband and I didn't experience problems prior to marriage and living together, and we still don't.

kpopp

Did you ever hear about resolving an argument? Yes, I mean giving up a little bit in order to keep the relationship going? Compromise? I'll do "this" if you will do "that?" Yes, that's what it takes. When two people move in together, they must give up some of their insistence. For, in order to get along, you can not always be right. Check out my source for more info on relationships.

kitkat

Wedding plans do take over the relationship, this was not the best time to try living together but on the up side. If you survive through this then you got a great shot at a lasting marriage. Good luck

Jewels

It's completely normal to argue a lot when you first move in with anyone. You are used to living a certain way and so is he. Now you are trying to mesh those two ways of living together...arguments are bound to come up and yes they will be over stupid little things. The best thing you can do is try to compromise on those things. As for as planning your wedding you need to keep in mind that you aren't marrying the material things but marrying the man you are living with. Ask him if there are any things that he would like to change about the plans or if he has any suggestions. If he is still unresponsive about the wedding preparation (which is a celebration of the love you two share with each other) then it may be a sign that he isn't ready for that type of commitment just yet. The wedding plans should not take over your relationship, it needs to accommodate it. For instance, my fiance and I are both laid back, down-to-earth people. We decided to get married outside, invite family and close friends only, and have our reception at a lake where everyone can dress down and enjoy themselves. Your wedding should be a reflection of the love you share with each other as you are celebrating that love specifically!

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