What should I do?

Lizzie A

Let the other man go and hope that your husband never finds out you had these feelings!! A marriage is based on trust, and by what you say it seems that your husband is fulfilling his end of the deal. You can not have a happy and sucsessful marriage while you pine after another man. Essentially you are treating your husband the way you fear this other man may treat you.

Your husband is the man who is there, has been there, and will be there. He MARRIED you. Respect him enough to end this other affair and give your husband 100 percent of you before he catches on and does leave you.

Good luck!

twinmom

This one's easy. Let the other man go. If you don't, your husband will find out, dump you, and then you will be alone. The other man isn't going to suddenly commit if you leave your husband. His track record speaks to that. It's time for you to grow up and act like a real woman and stop playing around. Your husband deserves better.

maria s

been there done that, left a wonderful husband and 2 daughters, for a loser, i have been with for 61/2 years. now this looser left me for another woman, no, i can't get my husband back nor my boyfriend he doesn't want me anymore, so i am by myself. and you better hurt now and seek your husbands patience and love than be like me lost and lonely.
good luck.

RedRabbit

You do not love your husband, or else you would have kicked the other guy to the curb and not looked back. You are spoiled. If you wanted the other guy so badly, you should have left your husband so he could find a wife that would actually treat him well and not cheat. Shame on you. Go for the loser. You two deserve each other.

bla32pen

There is no easy answer to the question! If you really love your husband nothing can come between you guys!! I can tell you that if the man your talking about left he will do it again! You husband has been there for you and im sure love you! Don't betray that love trust and wonderfully relationship! you married him for a reason! i know sometime it may get boring and all but in the end you were looking for someone to have you back love you and respect you! you have it what the problem! the other man is worthless!

just me here

You have answered your own
question...DUMMIE..
You are feeling sorry for that guy..but in
reality, you both need to leave each other
alone..
Make yourself happy by sticking to a guy
who loves and takes good care of you.
This guy sounds like a dog that needs his
needs met and then he moves on..
Girl, you are going to grow old and if your
man finds out, he WILL leave you....dry..
Take care..Good luck...Think about your children
and their futures....Not HIS!

lilgraygal

Ever hear the old saying you can't have your Kate and Edith too? You are asking for more trouble than you can shake a stick at if you get involved with this other fella. He was a loser then and he's a loser now. All he wants to do is get in your britches, get his jollies then it's on to the next victim. He don't give a tinker's damn about you, it's all about him. You claim to have a good husband that seems to really adore you and cherish you and would give you the world if you asked for it. Why are you tempting the fates by wanting to be with this other creep? You are on a self-destructive course my friend, and if you're not careful you can lose the one man in your life that really does give a damn about you, and you'll be stuck with nothing but a guilty conscience. Can you live with that?

lady_phoenix39

You already answered your own question. YOU ARE MARRIED. That's the end of the story. Why on earth would you endanger a relationship with a man who 'loves you completely', etc., etc....??????

You have some sort of obsession about this other guy. Get into some counseling and/or TELL YOUR HUSBAND. He deserves to know the truth: that you are seeing someone on the side and considering dumping a wonderful man for someone who "might" work out.

slopoke6968

pick ONE

volleygurlkbs93

your married!
you shouldnt have married him if you still thought of the old guy.
tell your husband he needs to know bout this.

Day500

I know exactly what your going through I am myself, only there is a precious little boy involved. I was with my first love for three and a half years. I had my whole life planned out with him, from how many kids we would have to what kind of car we would drive. I found out that he was having second thoughts nine days before my eighteenth birthday so I ended it. I waited for the next year and a half for him to come back to me he is all I ever thought about then I finally met a guy who is wonderful he is everthing to me, but I cant get my ex out of my head. I have been married now for over a year and have a 15 month old little boy who I would do anything for. I love my husband with most of my heart but there is still that piece that wants my ex. He just joined the military and will be leaving town shortly and im hoping that will help me stop thinking about him. We work in the same place only different shifts and I usually see him every day. I cant help how I feel about him but I have started a family with my husband and I dont belive in deivorce. Not only that my husband does not deserve to be left for the guy I waited around for so long for. I will love and miss everything about him probably my whole life but I dont think if we got back together it would work out. You have to think you guys are two different people from who you were then and at first it would probably be a rush, but that would die out and you would find yourself missing your husband. Or maybe not I guess I wont know until I get to the end of my life and I see what my regrets are, I am willing to bet if you leave your husband that would be one of your regrets. I wish you good luck as I do for myself. For all you people who think bad of her until your in the same situation dont judge you cant help your feelings belive me if you could there wouldnt even be a question to ask.

Elfchic

Do not fall into that trap. Temptations ALWAYS promise more than they really deliver. It may seem like a good thing, but it usually turns out to be less than satisfying.

Turn your back on it now and let that man go forever. So what if he's gone forever? You're in a loving relationship with someone who is also your best friend!

Find trustworthy women friends in your life and tell them told hold you accountable. You have a good thing and you've made a life-time promise to this man who is faithful and loving and devoted. How'd you feel if he is pondering something like that right now about you.... Also please consider getting some help in counselor to sort out some of your feelings. I know it's hard and complex.. but I think you owe it to your marriage to work this out.

mahdiya

I know EXACTLY how you feel. You know in your heart what is right, staying with your husband. He loves you and takes care of you and that is guaranteed;this other man,it's up in the air with him. You need to think about that vow that you made to yourself and your husband when you all got married.

una_dynamita

Let the other man out of your life, close all contact with him unless you are willing to risk your current life for him. Keep them both and you'll end up losing the man in your life who you say is your best friend. Not easy to do...Good luck!

lwheavenlyangel

If you've been depressed because of this man and cheating then why stay in the same boat and sink? Get rid of this ex boyfriend and enjoy the life that you have with your husband.

Vanreeser

Its because you want what you can't have. Are you going to allow a guy to come in and out of your life at his convenience. You say your in love with this man, but it sounds like lust to me. What going to keep you from being jealous again, or to say he is not still in love with his ex-wife. If it was meant to be it would have happened the fist time before you where both MARRIED.

hawk

As hard as it will be, you need to let the other man go. After some time away from him, you will begin to see the wonderful qualities of your husband and be thankful you made this choice. You will also then be able to see the negative qualities of this man, a divorce under his belt, he is pursuing a married woman- this shows how he feels about "commited" relationships. It will be hard to let him go but I think even you know what you should do...................

Sandra D

The kind of man you have is so hard to find, you would be the worse kind of fool to let him go for a loser like the one that left you in the first place, I dont know how old you are but I would hope you are old enough to know that you only get 1 chance to make it in the love department, if your man is all you say he is you will never find one as good again, talking from experience, you may come close but never the same or better, so stay with your man and forget about the past or better yet remember what it was that pulled you two apart in the first place and plan not to go thru that again, hope I have been of some help

HollywoodHousewifeâ™¥

My first love...I didn't know that he loved me at all until I called him to tell him I was engaged...to someone else, obviously. The minute I told him, I could pretty much hear his heart break. That was the first time I ever thought he could possibly have loved me. I always thought he thought of me as a really great friend. He isn't the kind of guy to show much emotion. I loved him more than I ever thought possible...but I love my husband more. I really have to limit my contact with the other guy because it is never fun to dig up old feelings. But it is really worth it to limit our contact. He calls me from Iraq every few months or so, so I know he's still alive. But I would never allow something to start between us. Not now. Not anymore. I love my husband more than anything, even more than I love myself...that's what keeps me in line.

Lightbright

First off you are Married, but then suddenly the other man comes back into your life. What you and him had together is No more you have a new life now.

Dillon C (who else)

No matter what you say, even if it is the best thing, people react differently. For example if you said something like:
Lets just stay friends
he might react:
1. ok sure
2. hurt, and depressed
3. just walk away for along time, if not forever.

Its not the best advice but that is the best i can give you.

The best of luck.
Dillon Chi

Gr8estluv

As painful as it may be, DUMP THE GUY! Save your marriage. That guy does not deserve you and your husband doesn't deserve to be crapped on by your actions. I'm sure you're confused, but the answer is clear. Lose the loser and pray your husband never hears about it.

beautylover

You need to learn that you can't have everything in life. I understand what you get from your husband is fulfilling, and what you get from the other man is fulfilling too. It's like filling 2 voids, having your cake and eating it too. You need to learn not to be selfish, and that you made a commitment, and you need to take responsibility for your actions. I'm sure at your age you know this. Be true to yourself above all, you will be happy.

diablo

Stay with the husband he loves you. This other man is just to chicken-sh*t to find someone else. It's like he knew even though you were with someone, you would take him back, and to me thats just plain sick in the head, and your not getting off so easy missy. What the he** were you thinking...
and you say you love your husband???

Amy

If you truly "love" your husband, you wouldn't even consider this other man in your life. If you want to destroy that happiness then by all means continue down the path of self-destruction and ruin your great life.

Mlady

Why would you want to jeopardize your happiness with your husband? Listen to your heart, it will tell you what to do.

Jon H

you better stick with the good thing you have now. don't go and Fu?? everyone up.

Lex82

Let him go. You already have a best friend who "loves you completely". Why risk that for a man who may or may not be there. And yes, turning your back on your values will send you into depression because you know what you are doing is wrong.
I was in a relationship where I felt jealous all the time. Who needs that in their life, looking back I didn't like who I was, being jealous all the time. I am now married to my best friend and I don't get jealous and I am happy. Stop fantasying about this other guy. Your marriage should be #1. You need to make a choice and live with the consequences of that choice.

leisa k

Let the other man go! You are married. he loves you and provides for you....the other man Dumped you...take some prozac and dump the other man!

WVPV07

You already know what you need to do-let the past go and be grateful for the wonderful man you married. If you continue with the first man, he will only break your heart, and in turn, you will destroy the man who has been there for you through it all. Does your husband really deserve the heartache?

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