What should I do about my wife?

bob glaub

Counseling

NuWave

Jhonez has a point. As someone that has been through this myself, I know your pain. Right now you are torn because even though you love her, you resent her. She says that she loves you and never meant to hurt you. She also says that she was just lonely. However, let me stress that there is absolutely no excuse for cheating. Here are some things for you to consider:

1. She is apologizing because she got caught. If you had not found out, this would still be going on.
2. You're a trucker so unless you change careers she will continue being lonely.
3. There's a strong possibility this will happen again with a different man.
4. Counseling does not guarantee success. You will be out on the road thinking about this constantly because the trust is gone.
5. Not every military wife cheats and they see their husbands less than your wife sees you.

I don't mean to sound negative but these are realities you need to look at. I realized I was not the type of man that could stay with an unfaithful woman. I was plagued with the same thoughts you're experiencing right now so I decided to divorce. I guess some things are for the best because my divorce led me to my 2nd wife who is one of the greatest women on the planet.

I know this is a decision only you can make but I hope you'll take everything I said into consideration. Good luck

benthere

I have been in ur wifes situation and i can honestly say i would have never cheated again had i stayed but the problem with ur scenario, much like mine, the reasons she cheated are still gona be there even if u forgive. U are trucker and gone alot and she will get lonely so even if she never cheats again she wont be happy. Im sorry to sound like a downer here but Good Luck.

Jhonez

I have been through this. as much as i dont wanna say it cuz its probably not what you want to hear....she needs to go. You will never fully heal from that so there will always be resentment there. i did counseling...went two years after then i started to vere....my advice is def try counseling if you want.....but what are you going to be thinkin about everytime your out hualing man.....its too hard

start fresh with someone new

Salacious Crumb

When women come on here and paint this very same scenario, all the women say "Dump his @ss honey. Once a cheater, always a cheater."

So I say to you, my friend, Dump her @ss - once a cheater, always a cheater.

David H

She can't live without you - and she's so lonely - 'never wanted to hurt you' - how on earth did she think you'd take it when it all comes out (as it always does) - in the end - what planet has she been living on - there are 1000's of male/females out there that have 'forgiven' this type of thing - and wasted their time in doing so - its just because she's been caught out - and does'nt know what else to say - she's been 'messing about' for 6mths and deceiving you - thats a long time - and its so easy to say 'sorry' and you won't be able to get those thoughts of them together out of your mind - end it now - you'll never be able to trust her again - if they've (male/female) done it once - they will do it again - and all you'll end up with is 'sleepless nights' and loads of misery- take the pain of the break up now - and move on and find someone esle - someone you can 'trust' if there is such a person - if you don't you'll live to regret it - when it happens again. Thats the brutal facts of life on cheating and your partner cheating on you - sad for you but so true. Your marriage was over the 'first time' she allowed the other guy to mess about with her and I'm choosing my words carefully here.

CrazyTex

Kick her to the curb, cheating on you because you are gone alot is no excuse...

Lprod

I think these things can never be forgotten. And you sound like you can't really forgive her either. I think you will have to be strong and make a decision.... i don't think the relationship can ever be the same so maybe it's better to end it ASAP.

<333

Well i understand that if a womans husband is always gone she'll feel lonely (but if it was me i'd just hang out with a friend not have an affair) but if your heart is really broken and you feel like you can never forgive her i think it would b best to end it. Thats just what i think hope i helped. Choose wat u think is best

Kimberley C

its easier to say then do but you can get over her if she has done it once she will be doing it again and while your working bringing money in and she brought him in to youre home her loss selfish ***** i bet ur reading this trying to deffend her dont bother she aint worth it you can do much better u might enjoy the single life !!!

BILL h

it sounds like she made a mistake and got caught.it also sounds like she has been having an affair for some time,if she told you she been seeing this guy for 6 months.i would find it hard to forgive her,especially since you are not home a lot,because of your type of work.i don't know if you can trust her any more and it's always going to be on your mine when you are not home.you are going to wonder if she's being faithful.sounds like you really love her,but do you feel you can give her a second chance?it's up to you.good luck with your decision.

teenie

You will never forgive her nor will you ever forget, that picture of her and that guy will be locked in your mind forever it will pop in and out for years to come. My husband had an affair 11 years ago it went on for 3 years. It has taken me 7 years just to stop thinking about it every single day. It's not like i wake up everyday saying now I'm going to think about his affair it just popped in when a certain song or a certain word or if my husband said something like "I love the way you look" you would think i'd take that as a very nice complement but no what it does it makes you think if he really loved the way i looked way did he fu(k someone else not once not twice but 3 fu(king years. These are the things you got to look forward to if you stay with her. Next month will be 30 years we been married but to tell you the truth if i knew it would be this hard emotionally i never would have let him back in my life.

vancie121

You have to figure that out for yourself. What in your heart can you live with. If she does it now what says she won't do it again. Your job means being gone alot is she asking you to change that? Is your job a change from what it was like with you two before? what has changed that she now can't live with being lonely. Can't she pick up a phone or contact you another way to stay connected?

Margarita

give her a second chance but keep a close eye on her then if she cheats on you again the it's obvious you should well you know leave her oh and stay mad at her for a while a day or two to show her your upset so she'll get scared and the relay won't ever want to cheat on you for give her after she relay regrets it

Debbie B

Is hard for an outsider to say. You should use your best judgment since you know your wife better than none of us.

Do you think you can forgive and forget? Will you trust her enough to have peace of mine when gone?

You have express your love for her and chances are you will give her one chance redeem herself and learn to love you and you only regardless.

annemarie.

wow, if that isn't the dumbest exuse to cheat on your husband. if you love her, i guess counseling then.

Eagle

do you still keeping her in your house?

LindaLoo

No one can tell you what to do. Since you are the betrayed party here YOU Have to decide if your love for her and your hope for your marriage is strong enough to help you stick out the next 2 years of healing, forgiving, counseling (you will need it both of you!) and fixing the problems. You know if you are by nature a forgiving person. If you know you aren't and that this betrayal would ALWAYS Be at the forefront of your relationship with her then I say you should move out and step away from her for a time and see how it feels after a little time & space goes by.

People can and do forgive, heal and repair such things - but it is few who are strong enough and committed enough to be able to do it.

galli_paula

I agree with bob counseling would be your best bet if you want to save the marriage.

krystaldlrs

If you can't forgive her, then you need to leave her. If you chose to stay with her after this, give her the benefit of the doubt and allow her to prove that she is trustworthy.. don't throw this in her face and let her know if it happens again you will leave her.

haydenray1234

the best thing to do is go to counseling that will help why can't she go with you have you ever thought about it

Calvin M

In your own words she was lonely. Sometimes people will substitute another person for the one they love when they are missing them so much. She probably was fantasizing that it was you that was humping her brains out. To her it was probably no more important than using one's own hand to reach a much needed physical pleasure. She called him and told him it was off. I think she is remorseful enough without having to go through additional guilt trips. Forget the fact that he came inside of her. It all goes away after a short while. She's still your girl. If you're having problems dealing with it, try having her give you a detailed account of everything that happened. That might help you forgive her and get on with your lives together. Good Luck.

ourotheremailaccount

You do everything you can do to forgive her. Granted, this is much more easily said than done.

And you work on making the marriage stronger.

Cookie Monster

Well, I think you need to take some time to think to yourself, even go for some counseling but be understanding of your wife and her feelings. But tell your wife exactly how you feel and that you need your space. Just don't abandon her, she knows her fault.

After this, I think what need to happen is whenever you get back from truck driving, you need to spend a lot of time with her and that'll repair the damage done

fretmaster01

forgivness is the key to happiness.forgive and forget and if u cannot forget at least forgive. it sounds like your wife loves you very much and you love her. broken harts can be repaired. FORGIVE and you will feel better. call her more often when your away. use scipe to talk face to face while your away. always tell her you love her and that you miss her.

KITTYKAT

I believe that everyone has the right to make mistakes and learn from them.Everyone has a reason to do soemthing an dim pretty sure that she didn't want to hurt you, I think you should stop talking to her for a while,give each other some break until you are ready to go back with her until you forgive her.I think you should because she loves you, i mena think about it,if she wouldn't feel anything for you she would have left you already i think the reason why she might have done it its because she was looking for happiness,she felt lonely and maybe you couldn't be there with her when she needed you.its normal for a person to do that its a human nature to also want what makes you happier.I think you should always forgive and forget but of course it needs soem time.and think that you are going to have to forgive her independent from if you get her back or not because you can't have that feeling with you all your life.i think its really normal for you to feel mad i i dont think she deserves you to forgive her as easy but i don't recomend you to tell her that you need some time to forgive her and if she really loves you she'll understand you and if you want put her conditions to go back with her,let her show you that she does love you,dont hurry on anything and everything ill be ok.Good luck

lady_phoenix39

The two of you need to get some counseling to work this out. Give it time.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: