What should I do about this?
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What should I do about this?
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So I left on deployment a happily married man with plans to vacation in celebration of our anniversary and play with my child when I got back. A little after halfway through the deployment I kept getting nagging suspicions about what my wife was doing. I had come into a windfall and had some extra money which was supposed to be saved for the trip. That was spent in 2 weeks, it was close to 10 thousand dollars. I was upset but didn't question anything. Then in the fall my wife made friends with someone who wasn't married, dating, or gay and she admits to making good friends with him. She was going out all the time and the bank account was overdrawn quite often. I just assumed that the money meant something was wrong so I asked her if she could please stop hanging out with guys and work so we can still do the trip. And stop going out so much. I just didn't feel comfortable about it. Well, she found out that i had cheated on her several years ago and told me that she wants a divorce right before our anniversary. I couldn't do anything because I was half the planet away and so things spiraled down from there. I had started an affair after she told me that she was getting to know another guy in a 'serious manner'. Problem is, I fell in love with the gal. My wife ended the relationship she was having and now wants to work on us. I know we both broke trust, but I don't want to be with my wife anymore. I feel an obligation to work on it but I just feel more miserable as time goes on. What is the best thing to do in this?
Additional Details
Yes, she did tell me she slept with him. My friends insist that there was another, but she denies that. I asked her to tell me everything because I already had. She told me a bit more but when i went to confirm with friends there was a different story. How can it go on with a trust so broken?
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Katie P
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you need to tell her how you really feel, don't lie to her, and don't give her any signals that you want her back because that would be cruel, you both cheated, and you say you don't feel anything for her anymore, well tell her that, tell her you would like to still be friends, go on with your life, good luck,, |
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MummaKins
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Why would you want to work on a marriage out of obligation? That is just a recipe for disaster.
Both go your separate ways and hopefully take what you've learned from your mistakes (both of you) and move on to have happy separate lives! |
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amanda g
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Don't make any decisions until you have tried to work on things for a little while. A decision made in haste is repented at leisure. In the meantime open a separate bank account to save your money, just in case. |
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midnight2197
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Get divorced. You said you don't want to be with her. Why would you waste her time and put her through the pain when she finds out you were only pretending to work on it when you really didn't care. You started the cheating thing. I wanted to feel bad for you when your were talking about her male friend until I read that part. You probably crushed her when you did that and she was trying to retaliate. You never did say whether she actually slept with him. And now you're with someone else. Just let her out of this. |
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Vera Lynn
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I don't have an answer for you. I just wanted to thank you for serving our country. God bless. |
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Mikey917
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Move on go with what feels right to you. |
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Sheil-c
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You're both better off out of it,you sound as bad as each other.Tit for tat is no basis for a marriage.Maybe she'll agree with you when you tell her about this new gal. I feel sorry for your child,I wonder how miserable he/she feels while you both play the field. Get divorced and sort out a stable life for your offspring with mum and dad acting responsibly for a change. |
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Jan
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Ummmmmmm..................... |
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♥B@BY~GURL♥
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GET A LAWYER AND SEE WHAT CAN BE DONE LEGALLY SHE IS WRONG AND LAWYERS AND JUDGES FROWN ON WOMEN THAT PULL THAT CRAP WHILE YOUR SERVING YOUR COUNTRY |
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No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
