What should she do? please any advice is welcomed?
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What should she do? please any advice is welcomed?
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My best friend is 19 and is married with a child and is desperately trying to get out of the marriage. Her and her husband (who is 20, almost 21) have been married a little over a year and their daughter is 10 months. She tried to make it work with him for the baby's sake but has just given up and lost interest because he treated her like crap, and she has since gone back to her ex and they have been involved again for a few months now. Her husband (let's call him John) has been severely depressed over losing her to another guy (let's call him Dave) and has been OBSESSIVELY trying to get back with her. He calls her every single morning and wakes her up (around 6) and he just annoys the hell out of her. She has told him many times she still wants to be friends with him because he is a good guy and the father of her child, but she isn't in love with him anymore. Last month she and her daughter and boyfriend came to visit me, they stayed the weekend and we took lots of pictures together since we hardly ever get to see each other and her husband (who doesn't even live with her anymore) was going through her laptop and found them and blew up because she is back with her ex. It is to the point where he is making himself sick over it. He has lost so much weight (he was already underweight), now he is just skin and bones! She doesn't know what to do anymore. How can she get through to him? She doesn't have money for a divorce yet, what ways can she get him off her back? He lets her use the car (which is in his name) for the sake of their child. The only downfall is that he insists on her coming up to his work everyday to pick him up to have lunch with her and wants to see her many times a week after work. She is not completely shutting him out because she wants to keep on good terms with him but he is taking all of this the complete wrong way. It's like he sees this as a sign she wants to work things out with him but she feels there isn't a chance at all. How would you handle this situation? It is very difficult on her. I also should add that shortly after their daughter was born they moved out of her parents house to live with his mom and her boyfriend who smoke pot 24/7 and would hotbox the house WITH THE BABY IN THE ROOM (as soon as she found this out is when she moved back in with her parents, just the baby and her) And since then her soon-to-be ex husband John has admitted to blowing smoke in the baby's face to get her high!!! This is not the only mistake in the marriage he has made either. She was so depressed because she tried as hard as she could to be a loving wife and mother, it just didn't work out and they did get married really young and have a kid so they need to work things out. Please if you have any advice to offer it would be greatly appreciated.
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Aethor
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Step one is to distance herself from him completely. If he was a reasonable man, it would not be needed, and he could see his child.
But since he is not reasonable, cut all ties. DO NOT use his car or anything of his. Do not come to (his) work to pick him up, do not have contact.
If needed, change the phone company to one that lets you have a blacklist - to add numbers that you don't want to be able to call you. Then she can blacklist his home number, his cell phone etc etc, so he won't be able to wake her up at 6 (or at any other time, for that matter).
Finish the divorce. Even if she has to borrow money from her parents or whatever, finish the divorce. The sooner it's cut, the sooner can the wounds start to heal. (And don't forget to ask for child support during the divorce process). |
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Just Surfin
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Sounds like someone needs to call Child Protective Services. Her "soon to be ex-husband" needs some legal intervention to get his sh*t straightened out.
They don't need to "work things out" - she needs to focus on what's best for THE BABY. And that DOESN'T mean hooking up with a new guy before she's even divorced, by the way. Her life is no longer "all about her" - her life is "all about what's best for the baby."
(By the way, for all those teenagers who ask "But what's wrong with getting married young?" re-read this. BOTH parents have a hell of a lot of growing up to do here.) |
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xyz
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i would be upset if i was that guy too, his wife is cheating on him. there still married. if things dont work out they dont work out. what can you do except move on. he will eventually and she already has. when there in court have the wife get full custody |
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Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
