What to do?

Daniel D

What a tough, no-win situation. Be the tattle tale, or hold a secret that isn't yours?

I would sit down with the cheating spouse and attempt to convince them that they need to make a choice and they need to gut up and either (1) quit the affair, or (2) tell their spouse.

I've told a friend once that it wasn't fair that I had to keep their secret, that that is no way to treat our friendship. I've also asked that spouse to honestly examine themselves, so that they know why they did what they did. There is always a root cause much deeper. Do they want to solve that problem with their spouse, or get out of the marriage? An affair hurts everyone so bad, there are better ways to end relationships.

Again, I would attempt to get the situation out of (a) me deciding if I should or shouldn't tell, to (b) showing the person they need to own up to their actions and decide what to do, so that others don't have to keep their secrets.

Nick

Yes. Not even a moment of hesitation.

true_value5

No, comfront him/her though.
Don't be responsible for a breakup. Let him/her do it.

antonio

YES, YES, YES, YES, YES. I believe that covers it!

a2z_alterego

He would not be a friend if you didn't.

gem

yes...

tahmoorian

no no no no that covers it even better ...keep your nose out of it ...if you can't have a word to the one having the affair that normally stops them once they know someone know's about it

jillianszoo

I can only say that I wish someone had had the balls to tell me or write me an anonymous letter or something! It would have saved me a lot of grief.

Aliz

NO! The person will find out for their self. And if you were wrong it could cause problems in their marriage. And they would not want you as a friend.

punxsutawney phil

Hell Yes. Who granted them name suppression?

Live_For_Today

NO, what you should do is get your friend on their own and tell them you know what they are up to and for them to come clean and tell the truth to their partner. You must always give them first option and a chance of coming clean.

lori_e_gallaway

hmmm...tough one. I would tell, the truth is always the right option.

donna_honeycutt47

If He/She is a good friend they have a right to know. The downside is, if they work out their problems, the Cheating Spouse will always hate you and not want the other party to have anything to do with you. Best to slip him/her a note where they will find it and give proof..If it was a good friend of mine, I would have to tell her, because I would hate to see her being used, and made a fool out of...Just to let her know I care and will support whatever decision she makes.

skydivemommy

Yes. She needs to know what kind of man she married.

teddy_bear_says_os

I would but do it tackfully cause if approach in the wrong way it could look like you are the one just trying to start stuff and if they deny it your freind could beleive their spouse instead of you.

daljack -a girl

I would first tell the spouse that I knew and if he/she didn't tell I would.

That's so hard, because you don't know whether to tell because you think it's right to tell..but what if the person wouldn't want to know?

Then again, you never know how you would feel unless you were in that position...

I would tell if it were a close friend.

M R

If I was certain... Yes. You are not breaking up anything the cheater is. This is your friend, you know how you would feel if you were in your friend's place. And if the cheater got busted and your friend knew that you were aware of it - that could end your friendship. The truth is on your side as well.

Vher

The saying said " Do unto others if you would like others do it unto you." First I will confront the woman and ask why she did that to my friend. I will ask her side in order not to be bias. If she has a good reason to do that, then I will just keep quiet will an let somebody do it.

unknown33

depends on how well you think she will take it. A good friend of mine caught his friends husband cheating on her and he told her. She was already emotionally unstable as it was and she ended up attempting to commit suicide but luckily she didn't secede.

belladonna25

I wouldn't just blurt it out but would let my friend know she may want to pay closer attention to her spouse's whereabouts. Let her come to her own conclusion.

gizmospita

Yeah if you are a good friend and tyou don't want you friend to become even more hurt then they will be when they find ot anyway..

Amber P

Oh...man.
That's a sticky situation to be in. You could be the one who takes all the fall out, and be accused of trying to break their relationship up....
I don't know if I would tell...
Maybe if I had solid proof that I could present, otherwise, I just don't know.

little q

yes

fairlady37

Think about it. Would you want to know if your spouse was having an affair? That's your answer.

Wolf

How would you like to be your friend?

Honesty is the only thing that 2 people can really share for life.

If is spouse is cheating on him, and you can prove this beyond a shadow of a doubt. I mean pictures, dates, bring your friend next time proof then tell.

If you just think she is cheating you could do more harm than good by opening your mouth.

But I would tell if I could prove it because it is destroying his life and he does not even know it, but it will hit him below the belt when it happens.

NICHOLAS O

No, no, no. If you do so, perhaps if thing goes sour between your friend and her husband and ends up going separate ways or even divorce, there is not guarantee that either of them would live a happy live and this would bother you so much to have caused them broke up. Assume it and let her find from somebody else if possible and wish your freind happiness as you do yourself.

Cindy

I would only because if it were my husband cheating, I would want to know.

darlene z

Tough question. Could you live with yourself if you didn't? What would be the end results? Would your friend believe you or the spouse? Think about it before you decide.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: