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What to do about child custody?
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What to do about child custody?

My husband and his ex wife have shared parenting right now. The reason for the shared parenting is because she kidnapped the 2 kids and took them to a different state...where she married a man fresh out of prison. This man is a convicted felon 4 times over. He can not hold a job for more than one week.. it takes that long for a background check to come back.

He got an emergency custody order and went and got them. They agreed it to be shared from that point on and no removal from our home state. About 2 months ago she called up and told my husband.. I'm moving out of state.. he said.. OK but the kids are not.. so she threatened legal.. which is fine because we would fight her on it..

Since then.. the kids have made it known to us that the step dad and there mom is bad mouthing both of us. Most of what is being said is childish...but there are more than a few things that raise concern.

Step-dad is saying... your dad and step mom are cheap, your dad said you are retarded, your dad and step mom make a lot of money so from now on tell them what you need and want... ect..

there mom is hearing all of this and not doing anything to stop him from it. The mom told both kids that I am a ****** and she don't care if they tell me that.
The one kid is 13 and a female.. she said that she was changing her clothes one day and step dad just opened the door and came in... I asked if she told him to knock.. and she said that he said "NO Its my house I will do what i want to"
My husband tries to call the kids and the step dad wont allow him too. The step dad has thrown objects at each of the kids and had the boy in a headlock on the floor.

the second child is 16, he is epileptic.. and his mind doesn't work as a normal 16 years old mind would. He is a slow learner and has some behavioral issues. He is easily persuaded, and believes everything that his mom and step dad say to him.

From the beginning, there has been an order by the courts that the kids are to have no contact what so ever with the step dad. After is release from prison for the 4th time.. he was parolled to our home state. My husband allowed the kids to go to there moms home knowing this because it was a do what is best for the kids and avoid fighting and maybe people change. ( you would think he would shape his act up with 4 felony convictions. The 4th conviction was not even a year ago..which he plead guilty to a lesser charge...time suspended and got probation of 2 years)
To make this really loooong story short... this past week the mom called and said that she wanted the kids by 430 each day to babysit there half brother... 430pm to 2 am babysitting is absurd! they do have school. They come to our home each day after school until approx. 6pm... all night on Wednesdays and every other weekend. The rest of the time is spent at moms home. We buy all of there clothes, shoes, pay for school functions, school fees ect. Anyhow my husband told the mom that is to much on the kids. and if you needed a babysitter you shoudl have thought about that before you had the kid. The mom has been in and out of the hospital for infections from surgerys. So the mom calls step dad and he calls my husband... argueing. he says.. why would i pay a babysitter when i have 2 teenagers that can do it for free? (Yea he's a real winner)
So on the story goes.. back and forth.. the next dad my usband took the 16 yr old to his moms home to babysit. The day goes on and then he takes the 13 yr old home at usual 6 pm time... he calls them about 8pm and no answer.. finally his son calls cryng and screaming at my husband saying his step dad said that my husband has to buy him a fan for his moms home since he is his dad. (this wont happen) So my husband goes on and on with the son.. trying to get him calm and he asked him who is telling you all these lies? he said nobody.. So he gets off the phone and calls back minutes later and the step dad answers ( he didn't go to work because he needed the babysitter at 4pm not 415.. (not our fault the mom said 415) While on the phone with him my husband could here his daughter screaming and crying.

I called the sheriff and children's services.. the sheriff came and when he was with us asked us to call there home and talk to the kids to see if they were ok... the step dad answers and refuses to let the kids talk to us. So the sheriff says : lets go;.. we went over there and the kids were fine... shaken up but ok.. they wanted to come with us but step dad told them they are going to see there mom is hospital and that they could come to us after wards. they never showed up. they didn't get home until 1230am.. on a school night the next morning.. both kids called us or just showed up to get to school.

The mom calls and says.. "You know I had nothing to do with what went on lastnight"

my husband.. you have everything to do with it.. you are there mother and you knew and still know what kind of person he is.

She then says.. you can
Additional Details
she then says.. you can't prove im an unfit mother..

wanted to fix from above.

Thank you to anyone that reads this.. i now its long.


    




WOWZA!
it's a good thing these kids are old enough to be able to talk to someone about what's going on. You need to get a lawyer and talk about custody again. It wasn't a good idea to have shared custody. They need to have supervised visitation.....seriously! You said something about your ex letting the kids go over cause it was what's best for the children but NO that's not the best for the children. Being in that sort of life style is NOT good for the children. I would be fighting that tooth and nail......The way the mom and step dad are acting is going to be seriously frowned upon by any judge.....games like that are not tolerable anymore. Get a lawyer and deal with the problem at the root...don't beat around the bush and drag it out. It might be too expensive to retain a lawyer but I think it would be worth it to get full custody of these kids...


O2BQuiteRite
Rating
NO MORE! No more putting these children into this situation. Your husband should get an attorney tomorrow and file for full custody. These children need to be saved instead of pushed around, used, pawns in a chess game! Sad, sad, sad. It would be about 2 seconds that my kids would stay with an ex-con stepdad when their real mom wasn't present. Get those kids the heck out of that situation NOW!


Douglas B
Keep a detailed log of what the kids are saying when they come home, even tape it or record it for use later if it's needed. Don't let the kids go over to be a baby sitter if they don't want to be one. They shouldn't have to be one if they have other things to do or if the step dad is around. He is one I would keep them away from, and the daughter is one I would be particularily concerned about if he thinks it's his house to enter rooms at will. He is mighty sick, but you have to be go be in the regular rotation of a prison system. It also says how sick she is to keep him in her life, she is downright desperate.


creepycookie
yeah, i think tell the kids you have an attorney and what your plans are. leave out any gory details, just be honest and give them the facts. by the sounds of things, you and your husband have a pretty good chance of getting custody. good on you for being such a supportive step mum. and if step dad ever walks in on that 13yo girl again while she is getting undressed, send real dad over there to open up a can of woop- ***!! or maybe just calling the cops would be a more sensible option.


angelbaby
Dont tell the kids anything.They already have been through enough.I would suggest to you to record all phone conversations and interractions with the mom and step dad and save all receipts from things you bought for the kids.Try to keep the kids out of this as much as possible and try not to talk in front of them about the mom.The fact that the kids are staying with a convicted felon who denies you rights to speak with the kids is a deal breaker in court.I hope it works out for you.


sunny
first check your state laws to see the age that a sibling can watch another sibling and the 16 year old may not count since he is handicap, so, is the 13 year old allowed ? you need to call the child welfare and ask them about the babysitting tell 2. am and is the child making all a 's in school or is it effecting her grades ? you should call the school counselor and tell her you are concern for the child and ask for them to check into it.....i also know children can decide whom they wish to live with full time after they reach a certain age ,maybe if you can prove she is unfit .is her home always clean ? dose she take care of the youngest child ? call the welfare on her if you can and say she is neglecting the young child as well....


MummaKins
Holy Crap I think you have every right to go for full custody - surely the children are both of an age where they can themselves make up their own minds about where they want to live?

What would happen if the 16 yr old had a fit whilst looking after the younger half-sibling?





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