What to do about my husbands cheating?

American Beauty

Here's the thing: Either you're going to take this man back, or you're going to push him into another woman's arms; not because he necessarily wants to be there, but because he's vulnerable and she understands that. The man has asked for your forgiveness. He has begged to come home. He has continued to stand by you, yet you continue to leave him out in the cold.

You should have called and let him know you were coming. And if you were going to visit unannounced, you should not have taken your daughter with you (just in case you found what you were actually looking for). Furthermore, when you saw the woman's car, you should have left. Why embarrass the man anymore than he already is, by knocking on his door for an hour? Ridiculous. He's begged to come home, you won't forgive him, so the woman is there. For all you know, she came uninvited as well. She simply got there before you, for all you know.

If you love this man, forgive him and let him come home. Call him and tell him so today. Don't mention last night. You should not have come uninvited, so leave it alone. If he mentions what happened, simpy say that you want him to come home.

If you're not willing to do this, stop playing games and let the man go. You've had enough time to think about it and he's certainly suffered long enough. Now you've got his daughter upset with him as well, and that's not fair. Make up your mind. Either bring the man home, or be woman enough to let him go.

********_adam

Kick him to the curb and worry about yourself and your daughter. Let his mistress take care of him and don't give him the time of day. If he wanted to come home he would have dropped the lady and did it.

4girls&done

Why are you asking this? He is playing you like a fiddle and he will continue to do so because you let him. He wants the comforts of family life with all the benefits of the single life. Forget about the loser. You and your daughter deserve better. Plus you don' want her growing up thinking this behavior is normal. Would you tell your daughter to stay with a man like her father? Think about it.

Barbara B

I would bet money that what you want is for your husband to stop his cheating ways and to come home and be the loving father/husband he used to be.

Ain't gonna happen.

That means you will need to hire a lawyer - and file. Make it stick.

This guy doesn't want to come home per se - he just doesn't want to pay rent or child support. What a loser.

You deserve better.

John Timothy

Come on, Unsure. That has got to be the last straw. He told you everything you need to know about him last night without even opening his mouth. He told you he is a cheater, he is a liar, and he is a coward. How much more proof of his inconstancy do you need? And why are you even asking this question?

Suthern R

The moment you realized that he was home and her car was in the parking lot, you should have taken your daughter home with you. Why you would continue to knock on his door with your daughter there is beyond me. It is very obvious that he is not a changed person and that you need to forget any kind of reconciliation with him. It almost sounds like he is using a delaying tactic with you and trying to keep you from getting a divorce. If you are just separated, then I am willing to bet that he has no court ordered child support or alimony to pay and the longer he keeps you from divorcing him, the less it will cost him in the long run. He has cheated and he is still seeing her, time to accept that and move on for your sake and the sake of your daughter.

swtlilblonde31

Look he doesn't want to come home and be faithful he is just afraid of losing everything in a divorce. personally, i wouldn't deal with that and I would march down to an attorney tomorrow and file for divorce and have the papers served asap.

bobswiming

really u never really caught him anyway

Sexy*Black*Chick

Leave him honey. he's not worth it and you don't deserve that. there are better men out there. Don't settle for less than what you deserve.

Lindsey

You just need to forget him and move on in life without him. It's a worthless cause after what you discovered again and you must know that now. He is a liar and a cheat and he is never going to change. The only thing that you can change is yourself and find someone worthy of your love that respects you. Good deeds from a man does not mean that he is loyal so let him go and get his negativity out of all of your lives. He cannot be trusted and he doesn't know what he wants out of life and I would not let him mess up yours any longer. Best wishes sweetie.

Misty D

Once a cheat, always a cheat-he proved it. There are going 2 b 2 many trust issues here, do urself and ur daughter a favor-let the mistress have him.

luvmyhubby

Marriage is tricky, if you try to work it out can you fully forgive him and I mean forgive him truly? If you feel its worth saving then try all you can if you can forgive him then try all you can. If he is seriously going to stop cheating and work on it with you then good its great. You know him better then anyone do you feel in your heart he will stop ? If so then great. If not then think about moving on with your kid. As hard as it will be you have to decide what you want and need out of the relationship. It hurts and its hard but be honest with yourself.Do what you feel is right in your heart.

AILENE

Try the Lorena Bobbitt Solution...

LOL =)

Daiquiri Dream

Move on already. This is terrible behavior to demonstrate to your daughter. You are teaching her how to choose & put up with a bad guy.

tiuliucci

Unfortunately the only answer is to divorce him. Cheaters are cheaters forever. He does not respect you. He is not worth the time that you have already put into him.

Take care,
Troy

Goodie66

Look "WAKE UP", and keep it moving. Let him be a father but the Husband part is a dead issue. The man simply can't make up his mind so you have to make up yours. Some things that are broken can never be fixed. In the immortal words of one of them Beatles "Let It Be". You've wasted enough time worry about what you don't have, focus on what you do and get someone that will remain consistent...after you mend your innerself ofcourse. Best of the Best to you Sister!

Daizy35

sorry,honey,he wants his cake,and wants to eat it too! Dump his sorry *** and take care of yourself and your daughter!
You dont need him!

mna3077

I had an affair with two women back to back this year. Although it was only a few times, each, I told my wife of almost 4 years. She didn't take it so well and has since moved out. She wants a separation and I am fine with that. I will not give up on us. I cut my ties with the other women, changed me cell number, am going to therapy and want to become a better person. I would assume that he does not like to be alone, nor do I, and that even though he wants you back, he needs someone in his life daily. This is a long shot beacuse I feel the same way, although I could never see anyone again. If you really think that she was there then let him go and move on. If he supposedly wants you back so bad then he would wait without anyone just like I am doing, no matter how long it took. Not worth the pain again and you do not want to live the nightmare all over again either. It's one thing if someone screws up and loses trust, but if you are trying to gain it back and still are doing this kind of thing? No thanks.....

M S

He wants to have it all. If you take him back, he will still be cheating. you decide.

lipsofanangel

He hasn't stopped cheating - kick him in the balls and move on!!

sherry n

cut all ties and don't look back.

â˜†â™¥ Tinkz Baby! â™¥â˜†

Your better off without out him believe me, my hubby cheated on me for almost 2 years, i took him back but after all the stuff he put me through and all the lies and arguing, its been a year and now he decides he loves me again and is watching my every move thinking im gonna cheat, on top of that my feelings for him have just gone, you just cant forget it, you are better of letting it go, ...i feel trapped , misserable and so sick of it all.
xxx

lrn_ebeth

Im sorry you had to find out like that. It was wrong of him. Maybe you should consider leaving him for good. I know that has to be hard to hear but if he wanted you he would give up that girl. Im really sorry. He seems to just want things both ways.

Sparkling_Star

Sweetheart, I know it sounds hard, I know it sounds harsh but drop his a** like a hot potato!

Allow your daughter to have a relationship with her father but as for you do your own thing. Do things to feel go about yourself, maybe even meet someone new like a friend nothing serious until you heal.

* Don't let your daughter grow up thinking she is suppose to accept this type of behavior from a man(boy).

Stacey B

It is bad enough when someone cheats one time but to carry it on for over a year?!! He obviously has NO conscious or morals and never will. Don't expect him to change. He will eventually do the same to his mistress.

Why would you want someone who has no respect for you and the your family? Why would you risk your own health by having someone who cheats and may bring home a disease to pass on to you? Why would you want someone like this when you deserve someone so much better?

Please end your dysfunctional marriage and find someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. By taking him back you are only allowing him to treat you poorly not to mention, the effect it will have on your children.

Be strong and move on. Good luck.

jkh724

What an idiot this guy is! If you want to avoid being hurt in the future, I would follow through with the divorce. He obviously has no sense of morals. He has repeatedly cheated on you, lied to you, and betrayed you. He will always be your daughters father, but that should be the extent of your relationship with him. Please take care and don't let him take advantage of you any longer. Good luck and stay strong!

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