What to do when your husband is in love with another woman and you know about it?

â™ªâ™¥JULIAâ™¥â™«

simple asnwer: LEAVE HIM! he obviously doesnt care about you that much any more...i cant imagine wut you must be going through.

box of rain

Divorce him and take 1/2 his income.

Then take your empathic powers on the road with the carnival.

lalisalaloca

do it before he does wheres your womanly guts??? i cant understand when a woman stays because she is afraid to do it by herself come on harden up here if he told you that let his a** go see if that grass is in fact greener on the other side you can and do deserve better especially if he told you that!!! good luck and get strong!!!! get ya self ready!!!

kiki f

26 years? I can never understand men. He wants to be with a woman who does not wanna be with him. My dear, it maybe hard but what u have to do is go on ur knees and ask God for guidiance. What you should do is move out for awhile to live with family, also seek counselling. It is going to be hard but God will see you through. It seems ur hubby likes women he cannot have a what you need to do is not to be too available. he is so comfortable with u that he is now teating u like dirt. leave him and live with someone else beginning today if things dont change, ask for divorce.

Scott M

He shows you no respect for one. If the chance arises? He's basically telling you that he'd cheat. So there goes trust. When that one goes out the window, you have little choice. Sorry to hear after 26 years.

fade_this_rally

leave him

surf 4 life

Im sorry to say this and it must be difficult but you must get away from him. Get a clean seperation and move on. this is affecting u phisacly and mentaly and you need to get away from it for yourself. Your friend isnt out to hurt you and he dosent love you if he is doing this to you. Bad things happen to good people i hope you have the best of luck and some things arent ment to be. The seperation shouldent be that bad cause he obviously respects you a little and wont make ur life hell after the fact.
Wish you luck , be strong

kali_female

Ok I'm speaking from an opened mind, and not choosing side. 26 years. Wooooo. That is a long time and it's going to be hard, no doubt. There's really nothing more you can do. Up to you to put up with it or not. Look at it as real estates -----> I bought this house and it's paid off (means you married him). Lately, this and this has been happening to the house, making the house losing it's value (he's cheating on you dating your friend), but there's a "small" chance the value might go back up (a chance he might change "HIGHLY DOUBT IT"). At the same time, the bank or whoever is offering me this much for it (he confesses, what are you going to do?). What should I do? (make a decision: Sell it and look for a new one, or stay and hope the value goes up, or worst the value drops even further?). Good Luck and I hope you understand where I was trying to get at.

Corvidae

Discard that worthless lout.

God Bless America!~

you know w hat, you sound like you are a classy woman and you dont need his sorry ***~!

MelanieMoon

Leave

penelope

Ive worked in a doctors care clinic & while blood pressure of 145/97 isnt low or even normal, its certainly not high, so dont stress or worry about that, just try to stay as calm as possible, I know your going thru a tough time right now but your just gonna have to dig down deep & find the strength to over come this. I personally wouldnt want a man who didnt put me first or if he loved another, but this is your life & you can choose to do whatever it is you want, thats the wonderful thing about being a grown adult woman, you have choices, & I think its time you make one, if you dont this will really lead to serious health issues, & you will develop high blood pressure.

drewxjacobs

I wouldn't want to stay with a man that had already confessed his love for another woman to me. I can't believe you would even still be speaking to this so called best friend.

I would give the cheating idiot his freedom, take your share of the marital assets and get the heck out of Dodge. I mean really, what do you stand to gain by hanging on?

~nicole~

You need to leave and get into a more positive environment. Who wants to live their life being second best?

Le_Roche

You decide what is most important to you. You can either take care of yourself and get your stress under control or stay in the situation you're in.

Your husband has told you he's in love with someone else. It doesn't matter what's she's told him. If your husband is so heartless as to tell you this, knowing how it affects your health, then you need to rethink if this is a good situation for you. If your husband isn't willing to go to counseling or work things out, then you come up with your own plan. He may or may not be a part of your future. He may come around someday.

Until then, you and your health come first. Do you love him? Can you forgive this breach of trust? Can you accept that he may just be too selfish to be a good husband to you?

Pagan Dan

So. Your husband is "in love" (or so he thinks) because the other woman represents what he wants you to be. Your friend does not reciprocate his love, and if he keeps it up he's looking at a self-inflicted broken heart. He will end up with neither of you, at this rate.

TAKE POWER!!! You are "empathetic" (read "compliant"), and you have high blood pressure and sleep disruption (read "woe-is-me. Look-what-my-awful husband-has-done-to me.") Please feel sorry for me, everybody!

Your husband shows you no respect, and (let's face it) you're asking for that.

If the chance arises he will go to her. Well, the chance is now, and he is still where he is.

You should tell him if he wants to leave he should do so. You aren't interested in having anything less than the place of honour to which you are ENTITLED as his wife.

What should you do? TAKE CONTROL. If you want to stay with him, lay out your conditions under which you will do so. If you no longer want to be married to him, then go.

YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE, not some weakling who wants out when your pay stops coming in. Not some weakling who torments you with talk of his "love" for someone who is not interested in him. How pathetic is that?

YOU HAVE THE POWER IN THIS SITUATION, BUT ONLY IF YOU THINK YOU DO.

JESS

Leave him. He's a loser. HE doesn't deserve you and although you may not believe it, you're better off without him.

perryfamof8

I would go talk to a counselor,I went through same thing but ended up much more mentally sick, I left him in the end and I am so happy now, by myself.

flaca

If he knows how your surroundings affect you and did not blink to tell you what was going on you should leave him.

angelr1790

You and her need to have a long talk, don't you know by now that its your friends that you have got to watch out for. Set her straight, hurt some feelings, fight for him! 26 years ...I'm going on 17 years and I'll be damned if one of my friends would even think of it... i would hurt them!! and for your husband! grab him by the balls and set him straight to. Everybody is having financial problems, but love always out weighs them. You can catch more flies on a pile of **** to!!! I'm not being nasty, i just think that people should hold on to their Marriage/ relationship.....no matter who's feelings get hurt. Friends don't do this kind of thing, and your husband is not in it alone, he didn't fall in love with her by himself she is your problem.........

replexgirl

I think you need the serenity to accept the things that you cannot change, the courage to change the things that you can and the wisdom to know the difference. You cannot change how he feels. You can change how you feel about it. Tell him to leave and find the happiness that he cannot have with you for whatever reasons. Kick him to the curb, or her house or wherever. He will want you back.......you will probably be completely moved on and over him by that point though.

Ronq

What a piece of crap he is.
Well anyway, it takes two to separate.
If that's what he wants, divorce him. Heck! how can u continue living with such person pretending he is not what he is.
Single life is happier nowadays anyway. Divorce him. Get your life back.

Silence

Let him go. I'm not even sure why you still want him. If your friend (best friend?) is not sleeping with him or occasionally seeing him, then I don't understand why he has not stopped this foolishness. Something is not right in this situation, and I'm betting your friend as you call her, is with your husband. He is with someone. Is he still living with you? If yes, then that makes it even worse. He is still living with you, but telling you he loves someone else and would leave you if this person would take him. He has no respect for you or your feelings whatsoever. Yes your blood pressure is high, normal is 120/80. Watch the bottom number, as high blood pressure leads to kidney failure (trust me, you do not want to go through this!!). I have the feeling that things are only going to get worse. I'm sorry to say this, and I know you have put years into this relationship, half your life really and all the good years, but you need to get a divorce. It takes two people to make a marriage work. When you are free of him, some of your health problems will get better.

austindravenphoenixxskylar

After 26 yrs. and financial problems are the problem now .No way, he wants the other woman just to make himself feel better, I don't know your financial problems but i will tell you this money causes a lot of problems in any relationship and it takes two to really mess it up.Either you aren't looking at the bank balance as you should,or you are turning a blind eye to an idiot who has told you to your face he will go after her.WAKE UP he is not worth it.Your friend should tell him to Back Off and in front of you.Trust no one until you see where your friend stands,if she is a true friend she would not think twice about telling him to back off for good

sammyd

What an ahole.. and your best friend is no better. Leave the misery behind, move on and you will find another catch better for you.

I was in a similar situation, being married to the same person for many years. Our last few years together were a struggle and I only found about about her marrital affairs because I walked in on them one day at our house. I was the money maker, so money wasn't an issue. Although, in the divorce settlement, which is still ongoing, she has been trying to take every nickle and dime from me. We have no kids together, thank god. But what she is doing to me is blaphemous!

I moved on and am dating again. It's been a little over a year. It is difficult to get back into the dating game, especially after many years of marriage. but there are enough people out there that provide support. If you stay in the situation you are in now, you're bound to fall under the depression group and start spending countless dollars on counseling for your sanity and money losses. Get out now while you have the chance and make sure you bank enough money to survive for a while so you can get back on your feet.

embellishment3

Let him go and make up for all those lost years you spent with him.

A C

First of all, take care of yourself and your health. Your right in keeping level headed and appreciate his honesty. You could find out four years later like I did. Try counseling for yourself to work through your feelings. Accept that whether you like it or not your marriage could be over, and it's nothing that you did, so don't blame yourself!!! He needs to decide to make it work, if he doesn't, it is his loss not yours. It is very lonely living with someone who doesn't love you. There is a lot of reasons why he should love you, accept that he may not, don't blame yourself for "his" actions. We are blessed by those in our life, not those who walk out of it. Now is the time you will need the support of your friends and family, let them help you. If you get overwhelmed, remember you can't change anything in your past, but you do have control over "your" future. Hope this helps.

butterfly3

For your own mental health....you are going to need to dig deep and get enough courage to leave him. I'm not saying to file for divorce because in due time, that will come naturally. I'm saying that you have been with this person for probably more than 1/2 your life....and being with him is fundamentally a part of who you are, but you must find the strength to depart from him immediately. Talk to a close friend or family member and see if it is possible to stay with them temporarily until you find your own place. Seek therapy. Your husband is being very cold and heartless and he needs a slap in the face (you leaving him) to see what he's really doing to you. But this isn't about him, it's about you. It's about you gaining control over your life and getting back the self-confidence that you deserve to understand that he doesn't complete you. You are whole with out him. And unfortunately when you love somebody with all you've got, there's never a guarantee that the love will be reciprocated. That's a chance that we take with love. Please, please, please try and detach yourself from this situation because the sooner you do this, the better off you are. Good luck and god bless.

jess

pack his bags and boot him out the door! ...yes seriously...you deserve better......................... and go and get a massage so you can relax................. and have a get together with friends

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