What to do when your wife is being unfaithful?

Terri

gather all the proof you can, see a divorce lawyer. cover your assets so she can't get to 'em.

when she's gone, change the locks, throw her clothes out the window and don't let her in the house.

Spaghetti MY

report the guy as a terrorist threat.

jenivive

counseling and then divorce

Daniel R

Wait till she meets him she will be back. I worked with a girl who was cheating with a guy that we worked with. This happened for years. Needless to say they were both married and now are both divorced. The thing is, now she has the house, but the guy she was cheating with left his wife and now lives with his parents. You see its all good to play, but when it comes down to another commitment a guy will back off. Plus you have 2 kids and most men don't want to deal with someone elses kids. Trust me let her go, she will come crawling back. Then you will be the one holding the trump card.

Sweetness

it's not that easy. Right now she just cant take the kids out (unless you're are physically abusing them) of the state without your consent. Even if you get divorced and if you have joint custody she can't do it. She can if she gets sole custody, but like I said there's got to be a good enough reason. Talk to a lawyer. it will be worth the price.

Vivian D

Keep the kids. Why should they go with her? Yes, it's hard to do it alone, but it's harder to do it without them.

Sherry M

Well it sounds like she's gonna lose a good guy and when or if she decides to leave she will realize it and want to come back and Karmas a B#%&* and it always comes back to bite you I would let her go and just keep in touch with your kids. She will be the one who ends up sad and alone

trojan

Talk with her and tell her that you love her and want to work things out but she has to decide now if she is willing to at least try.
Offer to go the counseling to get help but let her know that she has to make the decision shortly and she must cut all ties with this other guy. Make it known to her that if she is not willing to try and work things out, her only option is to leave and find herself. Let it be known also (if your willing), that the children will remain with you until she has established her own place and is ready to divorce. There is no use in uprooting the children when her future is not stable, it will only hurt them in the end .
Hopefully, it will snap her into reality and make her see that you mean business and what she is doing is not right. If there is any love left for you she'll agree to work things out, if she refuses then you'll know the love you once had is gone.

dooneygirl@sbcglobal.net

oh my God i am so sorry u are going thru this all i can say is that if she leaves you u cant really do anything about it but she seems to be losing a great guy. i will pray for you to get the best outcome for u and your children God blessyou darling! i am sorry to hear of your troubles

melissa

i think if she is really happy with this man you should let her go,cos you will only end up hating each other .i know what shes going through I'm not take in sides but if she has found some one Else maybe she doesn't love you as much as you thought she did. let her go cos it will only cause friction between you both so for the sake of the kids let her be happy. things will come right for you in the end

sweetbabykitty

HAS SHE EVEN MET THE GUY? COME ON! NOBODY (I WOULDN'T THINK) WOULD LEAVE THEIR HOUSE, HOME AND FAMILIARITY TO SOMEONE THEY HAVEN'T EVEN MET. TALKING ON THE COMPUTER TO SOMEONE IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT THAN MEETING THEM FACE TO FACE AFFAIR, ETC.... YOU CAN BE ANYBODY YOU WANT TO BE IN THE COMPUTER. NO ONE WILL KNOW THE TRUE YOU.

I WOULDN'T GET SO EXCITED JUST YET.

pippy

women only go elsewhere, when they are lacking something at home. You have to sit her down and talk to her, and find out what he has that you don't , and what you can do to make it better. communication is the best thing you can do.

green_baby_dragon

Maybe you should try resolving your marriage, find out from her what she sees in this other man that you are lacking and what are the ways, if any, that you can possibly make her happy. Maybe all she wants is more attention from you and it seems that you are very much in love with her so that shouldn't be too hard. Good luck and keep your head up.

savy

U TALK TO HER AND TELL HER HOW U FEEL! FEEL THE LUV MAN!

groverpawhurt

She needs a good puckin

Lucifer

as the french say "Ce La Vie". It's your wifes decision what she wants to do, but i think in the end she'll realize that the middle east is NOT the place to be right now. also when people meet online it's ALOT different then when they meet in real life. In my experience i've NEVER met ANYONE who had a successful relationship with someone they met online. And if she leaves i'd seriousley get a divorce, then you can try to fight for the rights of posessing your children. you don't want THEM to goto the middle east! I hope it works out
good luck

Simple1

Follow your heart...it may be best to just let her go

saylavie2u2

I know you love your wife, but you are giving her all the power in this relationship by allowing HER to decide if SHE wants to stay with you. First, you need to contact an attorney and find out what your parental rights are for your kids. Why do you just assume your wife will be allowed to keep the kids with her? It doesn't sound to me like your wife much cares for you or your kids, but is only concerned about this sick internet affair she's having. That's another thing you should bring up to the attorney. Your wife's mental state because she's having an online affair with this man - has she ever met him in person? Don't just lie there letting this woman ruin your life and your kids' lives! Stand up for yourself and your kids - find out what rights YOU have in this mess she's created! I guarantee you that if you don't grow a spine and stand up to this two-bit floozy, later on you're going to regret it and hate yourself for being such a wus. Grow a pair and get on with your life and let this witch go. If she's cheated on you once, she'll do it again. Move on and find a life for yourself because she sure doesn't care about you or your happiness only her own selfish needs and wants.

mld m

There is counselling available to people whom are addicted to Internet relationships. If she decides to stay, her next Internet affair is just a button away... No matter what happens see a lawyer. Personally I don't think this woman sounds like she's worth it. I can understand your concern for your children. Do yourself a favour. See a lawyer now.

Blondie

if she has made any mention of going with him and the only reason she is still here is because he is over seas and she is wating for him to return....
you my friend are already sunk
tell her to get out now and quit killing you with the decete...
move on
and get rid of her

adsomx

Your description is just about my case, iÂ´m sorry man!!
IÂ´m going to tell you what i did.
1) I asked myself if i wanted to keep the kids or just live the marriage. My answer was that i wanted to keep the kids, not because i was so mad and wanted revenge. I wanted them because i truly wanted to rise them.
2) I visited my lawyer and told him my intentions. I got all the hard proof i could that proved that my wife was having an affair. It took me about 6 months. E-mails, cellular texts send, telephone records and finally photographs. All the time you need to act cool so she can relax and live some stupid traces. Also you need some witnesses, not related to you in any way.
3) Gave everything to my lawyer and we asked for divorce, full custody without visitation.
4) I took my kids for therapy ( they are 11 and 6) so they could be better prepared for their new life. We got closer to God and always our prayers involved the best wishes for Mom. Like it or not she will always be Mom.
5) The judge grant me divorce, full custody and partial visitation. I " gave" my ex a car and $20,000 which is a bargain.
6) The first 2 months were rough for the kids, but with my commitment and must of all with Gods help
now everything is going our way.

IÂ´m not suggesting you should do what i did, itÂ´s just my experience and the way i see things.
My wife lives by herself in a small rented condo, her dating partner is out of the picture, but i honestly hope she gets on her feet.
I hope God help you in you desicion making, just do something

rcbricker33

Leave her. She is staying cause he is in the ME. Not because she wants to stay. I am sorry you have to do this, but you should have left her awhile ago.

By the way fight for custody.

You need to speak with her and see what she wants, why your relationship hasnt been working for her and so on? Unfortunatly when we push people to make a decision, they either do and make the wrong one or do and its not the decision you've been hoping for. Do you really want to be with a person who's not real sure if they want to be with you, to run off with a man from the Middle East, I would hope that she didnt take your children, thats just unspoklen of. When she starts talking about the other man I would get out of the relationship and take your kids with you. If you can love once, you can love again, if not better and stronger than before.

DECEMBER

Grow some balls and get rid of her. get costudy of the kids.

bassmonkey1969

Kick her out, and if she stops you from seeing the kids go to court to get them back and have her pick them up and drop them off.

Why would you wait for this other guy to come back from overseas before she makes her mind up, she's living the life having you care for her and put a roof over her head until he gets back. Wake up and smell the Coffee!!!!!

thadrizzle2

Well, !st of all be sure to get documentation of this ongoing affair allbeit "friendly" atm and it will be her worrying about how far the kids are away. I know that sounds mean but, believe me if you feel you are losing her....Divorces are never or rarely simple. Remember she is the one who is being unfaithful and if what you say is true you have kept your vows and should continue to do so. I am sure you don't need to be told that people say allot over the Internet and never follow through just, be prepared. I understand when someone you loves starts showing signs that there love is waining but, these things happen and we get through them and if you come out on top the heartbreak part is much easier to deal with. I know it sounds selfish but, look out for #1 and when you are feeling selfish or cruel remember she made an vow to you. Vows I take very seriously not to mention the problems that the children will in-counter.

Cute Stuff

oh my gosh, well you cant make her stay if she wants to go she will go. Get an attorney and see what your options are. She can be made to leave the children in the country, don't lose them too. Good luck, you will need an attorney if she decides to go

Dink

I think when she gets back maybe she will hae a change of heart and want to stay with her family. but u need to have some sort of cousiling anyways.

notyochic

let the ***** go!!! keep your kids though!! she is the one that broke your family up and you don't want your kids to be around a strange man he could be a predator so play this one very careful so you end up with the kids not her!!

Mongo

First, it is highly likely that no court will allow her to move the kids overseas. My advice is to bite the bullet and file for divorce ASAP. Seek custody or joint custody of the kids. Don't wait until she has left the country and taken the kids with her.

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