What to do with married men who have kids and they feel guilty dating even though they know marriage wont work?

I am dating someone in a unhappy marriage and he wants to slowly make progress wrapping it up. He does not know what to ask or say however. When discussion gets to be something he cant have answers to, he has started to avoid talking about it. He has told me that going to vacation with me made him happy but guilty that he didnt spend time ti the kid. And I have made him realize that he contributes very less in kid's life and growth. And how he is a non factor. And how he only spends time with kid when it is convinient or out of guilt. What does all this mean? He wants to think but I set him free to figure out his situation. I am still confused however. I never made him feel that way or talked about it. If anything I wanted more time and wanted him to be open and honest to start making progress for our future. We both know we wont find anyone as compatible as we were.

jude

this is what they all say, they tell the other woman that the marriage is over with, but he hasn't told his wife yet.if he didn't know it was wrong he wouldn't feel any guilt.

ouragon

1 Your ethics are terrible.
#2 Your date has the usual married mens excuses for dating. They're probably in a book somewhere.
#3 How can you be open and honest about a relationship that's based on a destroyed marriage?

#4 see #1

Ta-da!

First, you don't get involved with a married person, period. If he's cheating with you, he will cheat on you. You can't believe a word he says. That being said, his kids are the most important thing in his life. He should feel guilty. It shows that he has at least a little bit of a conscience. If he has told you this, then take that as your cue to never contact him again. You need to leave him alone to repair his marriage if it can be repaired. What you have to realize is, when someone you are dating has children, it isn't all about you. His children are more important in his life then you are.

Alloy Boy

You walk away for the sake of his kids. He is saying his kids need him, which they do. You come a distant second to them and you shouldn't try to wedge your way between them and him. Forget about his wife, at this point it's about his kids and you should stay out of it. Find another man with no baggage.

Gina

Here are some facts about your situation that you probably won't believe, because you're apparently convinced that he's "different" and that the two of you are "compatible":

He is free to lie to you about the state of his marriage and how "unhappy" it is because you are NOT there and cannot verify his statements.

The wife is most likely NOT the psycho monster he makes her out to be. She's probably really nice.

His friends will lie for HIM and will NEVER be honest with you.

He will NOT leave his wife for you. Why should he? Divorce is expensive, and you're cheap. He knows he can have his little side dish whenever he wants it, and if you get too serious for his liking, he pretends to be uncomfortable so you'll feel sorry for him and ive him "the time he needs".

He is disrespecting his wife, his marriage, his child, his entire family, and you.

If he ever does just so happen to leave his wife, you'll be next. He will cheat on you just like he's cheating on her, and will whine to his next girlfriend about how "unhappy" he is with you.

If he were so unhappy at home, he would LEAVE and DIVORCE her. Clearly, he's not as unhappy as he claims to be.

YOU are disrespecting his family by doing what you are doing - how can you even justify advocating a relationship between him and his son when you are degrading his son's mother???? I mean, you DO know that his son would probably hate you if he ever found out what you've done, right?

You have mo business messing around with a married man. None, none, NONE. There is no good reason for it. There is no excuse for it. He is MARRIED. How would you feel if you were in his wife's shoes?

amare

He is still married; which means he is not serious about being with you. Move on. This guy is playing games with you and wasting your time. You will get hurt. Move on!

jacinta v

You idiot.

He wants to make slow progress wrapping it up. What a load of ****.

If you are meant to be, you will be. If you love him, and he loves you, it will happen when it's supposed to. If he wants to be with you, it will happen when he's ready to give up on his family.

Don't be such a rush to break up a marriage that you can't be certain is over.

He's told you that being with you makes him feel guilty. Back off or you will lose him and possibly destroy a marriage at the same time.

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