What to do with my husband's family?

My husband works out of town alot so I am stuck going to event with his family often without him. We have been together 11 years and everything was fine a great with his family until about three years ago. My husband is the oldest of five kids and now that most of his siblings have a significant others hence let the fighting begin. They went from being a close knit family to everyone hates each other and either barely talks or fights constantly. His mother ends up in the middle taking sides. It's horrible. Everyone used to laugh joke and have fun. However, thanks two new people in the picture that is all gone. We can barely stand the holidays anymore and only come around to keep our son in his grandmother's life. What should we do? Short of cutting them off.
Additional Details
There are five kids so no we cant do separate holiday's because everyone works. Also, one of his brothers brings his 100 pound dog to family events and lets it run around. The dog is mentally unstable.

just4kicks

On holidays can you spend the day at home and drop the kids off for a few hours? Can you explain the situation to your husband's mother? Who are the "new" people? A sibling and a new spouse? Find out when they won't be there and stop over for a couple of hours. Start your own traditions at home with your family, explain that this is what you want to have traditions of your own. When his mother is gone you will have no tradition and you don't want to keep it up with his siblings and the new couple and the fighting! Or whoever is fighting by then! Keep your family happy on the holidays/birthdays whatever and that is the most important thing to do. If your husband feels he can't then suggest he and your children drop over for a few hours and let you finish up fixing your holiday dinner. Traditions with your family your immediate family are the most important of all.

nora

it won't be cutting them off if you invite only the grandmother to your house for a visit, or plan your visit when no one else is there. it's sad that it is put on you to put up with your husbands family.

Sheniquah Trois

so you gonna keep tight lipped with a 100lb dog running around your little son? you gonna wait for a mauling to happen or what?

do not go to these events with this dog. when are people going to get it? if he show up with the dog, LEAVE. that should make a point.

besides if you leave what is you missing? everyone fights anyway it ain't like you all reveling in each other's company

broker472000

Well..hello, you are an adult so you can make your own decisions. First, I would tell hubby if he isn't willing to go with you to the family outings...then YOU refuse to put your children thru that chaos. Hubby must know something is screwy or he wouldn't keep backing out of the outings...and then he expects you to be there..Put your foot down and tell him, your happiness and saftey is more important than anything his family does. Learn to set Boundaries. Your hubby married you and if he needs to..cut the cord from the family..at least till things can get settled down..Good Luck.

kiss4u

Come on you can smile and be nice for a few hours at the holiday family party. Never take sides. Never repeat any bad things that are said. If one of the family members starts to say some thing bad tell them some thing nice and try to change the conversation. Challenge your self to be able to do this.

every day is a gift

i like nora's answer.....
would add, don't take sides as it will only bite you in the end........
you don't have to be the peacemaker, just comment on the good (if you can find it)

michael

Can you have smaller family get togethers and/or shorten visits? In other words, not don't invite people that don't get along at the same time, and when you have to, stay for an hour or two as opposed to all day. Some people are better is small doses.

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