What will you do if your arranged husband has an affair?

TEA

Stop the relationship. You will never be able to have him since he is married to someone else, so stop torturing yourself and find someone that will love you and only you.

mpbrady26

I would arrange to get a lawyer, and then arrange to divorce him, and then arrange to take most of his money. Make sure you get the lawyer 1st.

Raca

"Arrange" a divorce.

reclusive_n_fine

Leave it alone. Move on and with your own life. He will be found out eventually by his wife and even if he isnt...its not for you to punish him or do harm. What goes around comes around. Dont speak to him, and stop punishing yourself too...humans make mistakes. Ask for forgiveness and change yourself because you can't change him and talking to his wife only causes her pain and she will see you as the bearer of the bad news.

tony-87

i think try to regain ur husband by loving him more. so that u wont go to the extend of a divorse

Hmm, well, it sounds to me like love wasn't much of a consideration when you got married - so why should it be now? You have a baby to think about. Make him get tested for STDs and forget it; you never had any illusions of loving each other anyway, right?

zen522

Dump him

noitall

This is sad in this day and age that people are told who to marry because of religion. Doesn't it bother you that you had a man's baby that you don't really love? He married you though he loved someone else and you still went through with the arrangement? You will always be second best. How sad for you. Don't you deserve better?

What are they gonna do, fire me?

Leave your cave at once and raise your daughter in a normal society.

Princess

Dump him. Let him go to hell. And you start your own life. That the only way to retain your self esteem.

lakshmi

U are very fare in disclosing every thing so plainly. Of course u too dont know that he is married, and is the father of a child, even after knowing also u cannot do any thing. This only reveals that he is a cheat, hearing this u will feel bad but there is no other go. Since a person cannot sail on too boats keeping his legs, one or the other day she will come to know about ur relation atleast at that time u cannot face her. Be bold and make ur heart bold and go to his house and reveal the same that ur husband is doing like this, sorry to say, i know it is easy to say but hard to implement but have to do mam.

sharven777

just kill him or arrange for his funeral with that girl.

sweetgranny06

divorce him and send him to his lover you get custody of your new baby and you take care of your child

masti

As we all know that India is still honoured for it`s decensy & loyalty.In India we still follows the coustoms of virginity& and today also a girl-family teach their wards about hindu parapsychology.As human nature man`s are always treated as king in womens society.Due to this many of them get infected through melancholy disease.Here the asked question is very common to every family.It happens only for certain circumtancens like;-unawareness of his work,neglegency of his attention,scares of love and depth feelings,communications disadvantage,society illness,lack of confidence of her own to solve each problem by her own,beside rectating negative.Women who are consolidated for herself can take positive step for her family prosperous.She must be aware of each legal aspects,her rights and update as requirement to his messenger through communication.In this case she has to get strong to manage the situation.Firstly she has to think to go to his husband place to live with him.And then bring him near through polite conversation and try to take him in confidence that without you, our family is armless.You all need his attention and care.You are happy what he is.You have to paticipate in his polister attitude. And get rid of polygamy.And here in our coustoms it is not allowed to go out off rules but to safe yourself and your family with better bond you have to make your own rule and decisions too.Make him guilty by joining him at his place with all his un-virginity,and get start from new beginers.Left behind of what he has done. Start from new version with full respect on what you are doing and have full confidence on yourself.

sanjay m

Let him do his fun Don't take it serious because it result to disturb both of your family life you too be a free.

ausblue

DIVORCE Him
that is respecting yourself

Sally D

My heart goes out to you, your marriage is tough. And getting a divorce I imagine would be against your culture. Your options are limited, can you speak to your family and maybe arrange a family meeting. He needs to have an attitude adjustment!

He needs to be taught some respect for the mother of his child and if he wishes to be so dishonourable then he alone brings it on his family. And they should know of this shame, he is their son and they should also take responsibility for his actions.

Otherwise go on strike, refuse all duties until something changes. You need to speak to someone in your culture or religion to help you, they will guide you.

I wish you only happiness.

i*love*u

HOLY ****!!!thts f***** up...dol u need to divorce him fast..its not going to go longer...u r going to live in a misery if u dont do it..

Forever Rad

Since you are the other girl from another country, I suggest that you back off. There is nothing good continuing the affair because he's already a family man. It will haunt you forever. I don't think religion is such a big factor if he really intends to marry you years ago. I'm sure you still can find available guys from your owm country much better than this Indian guy.
Good luck!

Leah

I would avoid this entire situation by simply refusing to be part of an arranged marriage. This is 2007...in America.

But since the damage has already been done, I would divorce the husband and try to start over entirely.

santosh

hi, im an indian male and i understand ur problem,
First of all try to get to the place where he is doing business and next step is to contact the girl he is in love with,(u should do this without ur husbands knowledge or he may get mad)talk to the girl and tell her she is ruining yours as well as her life. Find out if she knows that he is married. All u can do is convince her to let go the relationship as u love ur husband. ur husband may oppose to the idea of u coming to his workplace but u have to do it. I know it may be diffcult but u have no choice. If u stay in India will end up in a very bad way. u talk to his parents /relatives and pressurize him to take you to his place. once ur there, keep a watch on his mobile(I am sure she will call) get the no. and give an annoymous call and meet her some where and rest I think you know what to do. I hope ur husband loves u or he may turn voilent and u will have no one on ur side once ur out of india. So take ur kid along. it may be safe. If he is violent guy take a family member along with you(like brother/uncle) . i hope this helps

DesignGeek

Shouldn't of got married in the first place.

Wake up it's the 21st century.

If you had to get married to him because of 'religious' reasons, then you probably can't get divorced for the same reasons, unless adultery gives you a way out.

And the issues involved in divorce, what it best for the child, and parental responsibilities, are even more complicated, if there are religious rules for that too.

Ideally you get divorced and he pays child support and you get custody. Then he can be with the woman he wants to be with and you get financial support for the child.

I hope you have a loving family to raise the child with and you and they don't force your daughter to make the same mistake when she is older.

green_eyed_angul

Well I am American but I am married to an Egyptian and he is muslim. Not sure if you are hindu or muslim people. I know that my husband had a fiance from his country before we were married and he loved her for a long time...It bothered me for a long time. But he finally told me one day he called her and called it off...for him to call it of with her was amazing considering it was me and him who had the religion difference because I am christian..But I know when he does go back to Egypt to visit even though I know he broke it off..I will still worry about that. How do you know he had the affair? Can you be sure of this? If he cared enough not to marry her because of his religion Don't you think he would respect his religion enough not to have an affair? Good luck

cope_acetic

Why did you agree to an arranged marriage????????

They are always awful! There is no reason to do this in this world today....are you FURNITURE that your parents sell???? NO!!!!!
Refuse this.....and emigrate to United States...and marry someone you LOVE!

Jen G

I wouldn't of married someone who was chosen for me. If he loves someone else let him be with her. Find someone who loves you for you not because they were expected to.

Lady Hewitt

I would confront him and see if he wants the marriage or not... If he wants out then let him go.

Janu

I understand the emotional and familia attachments regarding this unique arranged system. It's obvious why the affair is happening because the husband doesn't feel emotionally bond with his wife...the word arranged constitute...a agree to, plot, design, fix up, devise, plan, schedule, etc...where is the love in this union between the husband and wife. This kind of arrangement is not at fullfill for both husband/wife but many have adapt. If the husband is in love with another girl...the present marriage will be a very unsatisfied and lonely life for both the husband and wife. This saddens me...

mimi

ask for divorce.

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