What would you do if your alcoholic, physically abusive husband...?

rjb2k6

second chance

dontdoit

Go find someone else!. An alcoholic that wont admit his/her problems will never be able to take care of you.

gabby t

I think that, it's better if you look for another husband that can take care your kids and you especially, because we can't live alone without love and it's hard to live as single parent.

amanda_ploof

i know how you feel i ask my self the same think evertime my husband hdranks and hits me if he dranks but never hits you give him a 2nd chance but if he hits you please don't go back din't be like me i'm to scred to leave i scare he take my son or hat he wil do t e if ido leave

Jack

Denial is a common symptom of alcoholics and abusers. They really don't believe there is anything wrong. Don't go back to him, unless he truly commits to long term therapy, and sticks with it. He's bad news.

gawainer

Alcoholism is grounds for divorce. It's a serious psychological and medical problem that requires full participation from the addict to improve the situation. I am a believer in tough love. As long as he is in denial, he won't be able to treat you the way you deserve. It's time for an ultimatum.

donnasworld1

pray and ask god for direction and understanding, he will show you what you really need to do.

workingclasshero

for the sake your kids and yourself stay seperated from him. You don' t have to be looking for a replacement, just concentrate on keeping you and your children healthy and emotionally sound.

Blondeheiress

Move on. Otherwise you are co-dependent. He is bringing you and the kids down. You are safer and so are the children without him. Forget about another man, worry about your well being and the children's. You can not be responsible for him, only he can.

cookie

DIVORCE!!!!! HE WILL NEVER CHANGE.

NYCaliGal

I know this is easier said than done, especially if you are still in love with him ...and also have children, but I think in your heart you must already know the answer to this question. You can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves. Trust me, I've learned this the hard way. If your husband is not willing to seek help for himself, or at the very least to try to make changes and admit he has a problem to save your family...then hard as it may be...you need to move on for your own sanity, and the future of your children.
You are a role model for your kids. If you have a daughter and she witnesses this abuse, she will surely grow up thinking this is an acceptable way to be treated by a man...(hell, it was OK for her mom)...and if you have a son, he could end up behaving as his father does towards women in his life. Of course, none of this is certain...but are you willing to risk your childrens futures on that rare chance, all will be OK? If you can't do it for your own soul and self-esteem...at least do it for the kids, & in the process...you may end up not only getting your own self worth back...but may find your true "prince charming".
I am not one to preach....I am not religious or anything like that...but I am a 33yr old single mother, with a 10 year old son....so I know some of what I speak. My son is so much better off without all the fighting and negativety in his life. (His father hasnt been around for 6 years now.) I have a wonderful boyfriend now of 5 years...and we are getting engaged soon, and he adores my son as his own. No abuse. Please know that you and your children don't deserve to live a life of unhappiness with a man who can't even admit there is a problem. Stay strong, and at least think very hard about the consequenses of staying, if you do choose to go that route. Good luck.

enzyme304

Find Prince Charming. Alcoholic and physically abusive? Leave him, for you and your children.

Centurion

Divorce him. If he doesn't love you enough to change, then you can do better.

something

Perhaps this is arguing words, but why did he change if he didn't have a problem?

If he admits that he had a problem, then he needs to know why and what he did to correct it. I suggest talking to some counciler for yourself and if you do decide to give him a second chance, start with marraige counciling. If he refuses or says he doesn't need it, then it's time to move on.

Note, there is no such thing as prince charming. The next guy you find will be better or worse, not perfect.

zartsmom

If he refuses help, you should NOT stay with him. Even if you don't have enough self respect to leave for your own sake, think of what staying is teaching your children - namely that his behavior is acceptable. That's how boys grow up to be abusive alcoholics, and how girls grow up to marry them. I know you want better for your children. He doesn't want better for himself, so it is time for you to close the door on the chapter of your children's life that includes alcoholism and abuse, and free up your future and theirs to have a life without that kind of trauma.

As for Prince Charming . . . don't start looking for awhile. You need to be completely solid in your own right before you look for someone to share your future with. Heal first. Then look around.

Good luck to you.

bonbon

If you've been separated for a year already, go ahead and take the next step to divorce him and get on with your life. Do it for your children's sake as well as your own. I have waited all of my life for my alcoholic father to change, but at 92 he still drinks! He went to AA, but he did not want to change. Even tho it is a "disease" you are not obligated to live your life that way. My sister and I both married alcoholics because that's what we were used to...I say get out while you can!

LaPalma

dont waste any more time...just be done with him.

allaboutpink101

LEAVE HIM...dont stay anylonger....trust me

mizzzzthang

First of all, he can only change for HIMSELF.....If he hasn't gotten any kind of therapy for being physically abusive, why would you allow yourself (and your children) to be put into that situation over again??? Abuse (and the witnessing of abuse) scar children emotionally for LIFE.....You can do better than him, dear.....Good Luck

artman59

for crying out loud, that's an easy one- go find Prince Charming, or even Prince "Not a total A**hole", maybe even Mr. "Not in denial, but not Mr. Right, just Mr. OK,but not abusive and drunk, but respects you".

witchrhizu

If he can't accept that there's a problem -- then it's his problem and not yours. Don't go back to him, don't give him the opportunity to hurt you or your children again. The truly amazing thing about people who are addicted to alcohol is their ability to twist things around, so somehow, the problem is yours and not theirs. You don't need to see his actions -- you've seen them. What you need to do is evaluate the changes in your life since the separation. Are you happier and less fearful? Are the kids acting more like kids and less like mice? Because, when you look at the positive changes, it's an easy decision. Good luck!

davbig2

find prince charming idiots never change

double_nubbins

If he is physically abusive, you need to divorce him.
Especially if he still doesnt want to get help.
It's an age old problem and youi arent the first person to be in that situation.
But divorcing him is usually the best.

I CANT BELIEVE UR not bush

I know its easier said than done but u cant be with someone thats abusive. U know things will never change if you stay with him. You love him, but leaving him will show him he has to change. Please, do not give him another chance. Ig hes abusive, you know its not just a second chance... Im sure hes done it more han once.. Hes had enough chances.. If you go back you will get hurt. Please stay away from him no matter how hard it seems now, I promise you will be glad you didnt go back later on.

fscarberry20

Alcoholism is a problem that will prgressively get worse unless its treated properly. If your husband does not realize he has a problem, than there is no way he is ready to try and fix it. My advise to you, get out of it as soon as possible. Break all contact with him.

toosexy4thisshit

Its either you ar AA don't compromise because he hasn't change and until he actually make a change by taking care of his problem stay strong

SweetSatinDoll47

Well first of all there's two problems, he's an alcoholic, and he's physically abusive, very dangerous combination. One of those things would be bad enough but both of them are really not good. Don't put your kids through that. It's not fair to them to be brought up in an environment like that. And the fact that you mentioned that he doesn't believe he has a problem is another reason not to continue with this. Also, Prince Charming is only in the fairy tales, find someone who is sober, and will love, and respect you. But first give those things to yourself. After wards, you won't be confused about making the right choices for your life. Good luck!

sasa

hey girlfriend you and me know this once a cheater always a cheater so once a alcoholic then is always gone be. no way he is going to change if you love your kids and yourself then leave him to do what ever he wants to do if you let him in again is going to be hard for you to let him out again there are so many nice things you can do that will make you happy maybe another man for you and the kids.

it all up to you but I am only helping you it true people change for the good but it not always right you can't read people's mind. good luck and follow your hearts.

spitonapit

Don't stay with him. Once an abusive husband ALWAYS an abusive husband. Alcoholism isn't something that can be treated and then goes away. It is a lifetime of getting up each and every day and making the decision not to drink. Unfortuneately, alcoholics and drug users are selfish and don't quit even for the people who they want to live for. It's tough love, but you'll be doing all of you a favor keeping him at the curb. Don't rush out to find someone, women usually have a way of letting history repeat it'self and find the same "type" of man. Take your time and be extremely choosy.

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