What would you do if your husband was always....?

bebe

Write him a simple, emotionfree note just to say that you're okay and that you left and for him not to call the police, pack up a few bags and get the hell out of there. Stay with family if you can while you get back on your feet, if you weren't working/can't keep the same job. Try welfare, do whatever you can. Don't even bother trying to reconcile with your husband - it doesn't appear that he's worth the trouble. Get him served with divorce papers, as soon as possible.

kja63

You don't say a word. Just pack up and leave!

True

You should not do this alone as he will get violent. You should call the police and tell them about your situation. Tell them that he has been abusing you, you don't want to press charges, but would like an escort to assist in getting your things. They will go.

Core

If you're afraid of leaving because he's going to get violent, either have some friends help you get everything out while he's gone, or call for police assistant so they can protect you while you get everything together. I'd go with the police option personally; I like doing things face to face.

daljack -a girl

You ask what I would do?

I would be gone so fast I would be a blur.

Unless you want your child to grow up in such a terrible environment.....LEAVE.

sheloves_dablues

The minute he's out the door, pack a bag and get out. DO NOT tell him you're going to go. DO NOT do it while he's there. You risk your life if you do that.

Anji

Good God!! Please leave and do it while he is GONE!

Sounds like you need to file for a protective order and get yourself into some serious counseling so that you are not prone to falling for the same pathetic men!

Good for you for getting out - but do it quietly and fast!

Mrs.Simsâ™¥

Don't stay just because you are pregnant, because if he continues with the abuse he could seriously hurt your child, take him to court when the baby is born.

Also, honey, since you are pregnant I would suggest you leave while he is NOT home. Don't leave a note, just pack your things and leave. He'll realize what's going on when he gets the divorce papers in the mail.

AlexisM â™¥

Leave when he is not around. Call the police or another authority to let them know what is going on and ask them to be around when you leave.

Cat Loves Her Sabres

Don't even leave a note, honey. You need to go someplace safe like a battered women's shelter for a while. You should be able to get information on shelters in your area from the domestic violence hotline (in the US the national hotline number is 1-800-799-7233). Call your mother, sister, or another trusted friend or relative right before you leave to tell them that you are going so no missing persons report gets filed. Get yourself on your feet and don't give him a means to track you or a chance to know you're leaving! If you are pregnant, then that's double incentive to play it super-safe when you leave. You want to be gone like a ghost and keep your baby safe from a father like that. Good luck and stay strong, honey. There are so many people and organizations waiting to offer you help and a leg up to get yourself back to where you should be!

P.S. Everyone that said have the police there when you leave had a great idea there. Definitely have them come and escort you out, even if you don't think he will be home. You can NEVER be too careful.

Are u serious... when he leaves for work pack all your **** and move, and dont tel him where you are.....

Women beaters are cowards.. GRRRRR

Have a GREAT day!

Dont tell him youre leaving. Just act totally normal. When hes at work, pack as much as you can and leave. If you have a plan then more power to you. But if you tell him youre leaving, and you fear he might get violent, that might not be the best thing to do. After that, get a restraining order, and file for divorce. Best of luck

Flan

Get the f*ck out of there! Go stay with friends or family and DON'T tell him where. Find a shelter for abused women. Just do it.

Call the local court and get an injunction or a restraining order on him if you are even the slightest bit scared of him hurting you.

Don't take the chance that he will end up killing you, your baby, or both.

alf

I would leave him
don't tell him you are leaving. when he is gone just pack up some things and leave. Go somewhere safe, and stay there. then when you are there tell him you want out of the relationship, and if he doesn't leave you alone you will put a restraining order on him.

Good luck

BreRum

Contact you local women's shelter, today, they will find you a place to stay. Have your family and friends come over and help you move your things out while he is gone. You don't need to tell him anything. If you must, leave him a note don't apoligize for leaving.
What ever you do, don't let him talk you into going back to him. It will only be worse. Trust me, I've been there.

Katie H

Go when he isn't there and make it quick. Just take what you NEED - clothes, meds, contacts and I took my family photos that I was afraid he would destroy.
Find a therapist.
Contact an attorney.
Get a disposable cell phone and do not - ever - ever - ever give him the number.
There is nothing you can say to make him understand the kind of man he is. Don't waste your energy. You will need it to build a new life.
And never, ever, no matter what go back.
If he has insurance - your pregnancy and the baby would be covered.

Squire

leave a soon as possible hopefully u do have a safe place to go. Don't confront him just leave the note he will know why u left and according to him by won't matter if your gone. You should be in a safe place not worried about your life.

uwantmyattitudeto

I would get out of that relationship as quick as possible!!!! I would leave while he is gone somewhere and you can leave a note,or call the cops when you do leave,and have them address him about the abuse,that way its on file and he will go to jail if he tries again to touch you.. As far as being pregnant,if you are pregnant you do not want to raise your child around this man,what kind of life will that child get to have to go through watching their dad beat their mother,and what would happen if the abuse turned towards your child? I sure in the heck wouldnt want to find out..For your own safety and possibly your unborn child,GET OUT!!

boosta

Love is a crazy thing--i know you love him or you would have already left..baby girl take it from someone who knows i was in the same predicament girl, i loved him so much i did not care how much he put me down and called me names or abused me i was so blinded i just loved him and i could not explain why...noone understood why i stayed until one day i asked myself what is it about him that i love i could not answer one thing he was mean to me i couldnt have loved that he hit me i couldnt have loved that then i asked my self would i miss him yes! i would miss his company and his presence when and if he was ever nice but all in all i would not miss him not miss the things he did and how he made me feel.i hope you do the right thing you will know in your heart what it is just leave and dont look back dont answer his calls he deserves no explanation if he is smart he will know why...no second chances ever not in an abusive relationship please help yourself god bless you baby girl

pearlishell26

I would leave while he's away. You don't want to tell him face to face cause he's already shown his violent side. Leave him a note and tell him to contact you only after he has calmed down. If you decide to stay with him, you need to give him an ultimatum, he needs to change or else it won't work. Don't let him step all over you.

jbhard86

Get the F!@K OUT!!!!!!!!!! NOW!

Nancy M.

If it were me I would be planning to leave for good. That is what I use to go through my first marriage. When I had said that I was going to leave my ex could not understand why I would ever want to leave. He did not think that what he was doing was wrong. If you do leave do it while he is at work and don't leave a note. When I left I had to keep it to myself and not even tell my children that we were leaving. You also need to start thinking of yourself and hopefully you won't be pregnant if that is not what you want to be. If you are then you have to take care of the baby and you will not want that child to grow up in an abusive home.

Axn

get a better husband

Kayley R

hiya hun i dont know how you put up with him, when he goes to work get all your stuff packed and ready for when he comes in, let some1 close to you know that you are going to end it with him so they can be close by incase he does get violent and you need help, when he comes back just tell him why you are leaving him, dont let him bully you into staying just stay firm and brave hun. You can do it girl you need to get out of that relationship.
hope everything goes ok xx

please dont tell him u are leaving, act like nothing is wrong, soon as he is gone pack ur bags and be gone, but make sure u have a place to stay until u can get back on ur feet. please dont stay if ur pregnant, i was in the same situation, and he beat my daughter with a belt, and put a gun to my head and said he would kill me. also get a restraining order as soon as u leave cuz he's gonna look for u . good luck, and be strong ur not alone.

yasoo

if i were you , i would try to find out why he treats my like this
and i have to ask you , dose he drink ? because if he dose you have to leave him immediately . he will never listen to you or will try to understand you it doesn't matter what he will do !
what more important is to be happy and safe !!!!!!

STFU_0123

Your period could be late because your stressing so much over this. And yes you do need to get out, even if you are pregnant its more of a reason not to stick around with this guy because he can become abusive to your child as well. This issue is not to be taken lightly and you need to consider all possibilites. If you tell him your leaving when hes around most likely he'll try to stop you and could try to hurt you. Your best option is to pack your things and leave while hes not around. Go stay at a friends or possibly somewhere he wouldnt think of to come look for you. Let the police know and you could get a restraining order against him.

This is horrendous. I feel so sad for all the tragedy you've had to go through. Okay, my advice.
If he has a solid history of violence then there will be no good way to say goodbye. For your own safety, you should leave when he is not around. Secondly, before you go you need to get a safe place to stay and start over. Think about friends and/or family that you could be with. Filing a restraining order wouldn't be a bad idea although I believe you have to be present (in the courtroom) to do that. If he doesn't show up to the hearing then the judge automatically enacts the order for 3 years.
You have a really tough road ahead of you. A lot of healing will need to occur (physically, emotionally, spiritually) but you should never be subject to physical abuse. Get out of there quickly and quietly. I do recommend leaving a note.

1.) Your safety. Call family or friends and arrange lodging.
2.) Your health. Get checked out by a doctor. You need to know if you're pregnant and/or if there's another medical problem.
3.) Your life. File a restraining order. He'll land himself in jail the next time he tries to hurt you. You can't move on if there's a danger of him reappearing and hurting you. I've seen these cases. The judge will award you an order simply on your testimony, even if your husband denies anything. Simply state that you'd feel safer knowing this order is in place and you're good. Of course, I've not seen a case between married couples but check it out anyway.
4.) Your details. Once you're in a safe place, you know for sure about your health, and you've locked in measures to keep him away (restraining order) then get a Life Map together. Where you want to live, getting a job, etc. Think about the big questions and start working on some big answers.

domo79

Leave while he is away & do not let him convince you to come back.......cut all contact w/him & get the divorce going....You deserve better...hopefully ur not expecting!

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