What would you do if your spouse cheated and won't agree to a divorce and threatens suicide?

Joseph L

I don't think anyone here can give you he advice you need.
First off, infidelity will create a strain on the marriage that may take a lot of time, effort, and hurt to work through. Communication and hopefully some professional help will help on that one.

If you are already looking at divorce as on option then you must seek legal help and hopefully the help of some local family and/or friends. Don't try to go through this alone.

Finally, it seems the situation is getting more out of control with the introduction of the suicide threats. Never dismiss any suicide threat with apathy or worse yet, with challenge. At the same time do not let it trap you into a situation where you do not want to be.

Hope you find some help. Best of luck to you.

JustJules

This is too easy -- let 'em!

Next?????

Ontheotherhand

That depends. IF you are ending the marriage, his agreement isn't necessary. See an attorney, and file for divorce. Threats are his problem; your problem is YOUR future. Do what is best for you. Let him worry about himself.

Richard Stapleton

I would talk with someone other than my spouse for help. Try a minister, a therapist and trusted friend.

shantail77

LOL, Wow.. I'd divorce their azz any way.. I would say waz u thinkin bout killin urself while u were getting ur shyt off wit that other person.. Make sure u buy a bouquet of flowers!!

beerz24_7

i would let them kill themselves, make the divorce easier

Sunshynebeams

don't believe him.... go and get the divorce.

Tya

throw 'em into a psychiatric ward.

ocalagal

If there is alcohol/drug abuse, I'd contact Al-Anon. They know the cues, and tricks and lines of the abuser. Sounds like he's trying to make himself the victim. He'll keep the death twist up as long as you let him. He probably needs you more than you need him. Al-Anon will offer a sponsor to you that you can call, plus you'll make lots of friends. You'll be surprised you are not the only one with the same story. Good Luck!

Kenn

If you want the divorce, go ahead with it. You can't let him control your life. If he wants to kill himself, that's his decision. But his right to happiness stops where yours starts.

notveryzen

Wow...
every marriage is different. It's up to you if you want to stay and deal with everything or if you would rather end it. If this isn't his first time than I don't recommend staying...
The whole "suicide" thing... not cool for him to threaten you with that.

practical thinking

In some states you can have someone committed to a mental health institution when they present a physical danger to themselves or others. In other states you can have somone committed for being just plain wacko. At any rate, file for divorce (the court might force marriage counseling first or order a period of separation before granting a final divorce). Your spouse is an adult (I'm assuming) and should by now have coping skills. If you're really concered about suicide have them committed. Then file for divorce with the spouses emotional/mental instability as reason to fear for your own safety.

Titan A-X-E

That is on them. Not you. They did the wrong deed, and now the person is trying to punish you.

Get the Divorce, leave. Don't let someone else's negative actions control your life. You might as well be dead yourself. Move on. It will be fine.

glo

Most people that threaten suicide don't go through with it.
Either way, get a good insurance on him and make sure he won't be able to frame you if he does commit suicide.

mzdivine1

if they're 4 real convince them to try counseling and attend with them cause i do care about them rather we be together or not, then get the divorce if you still feel the same, cause the last thing you want haunting you is that they told you, you did nothing and now they're gone, but if you think they're just saying it for the heck of it , go ahead and leave cause that's a sign of future problems anyhow, they aren't too mature, and it'll frustrate you that they like to play games when its time to be serious. Good Luck.

Someonesmommy

He doesn't have to agree to the divorce, so do it anyway. There are reasons which you have for getting the divorce, and it sounds like you have good ones. I would tell him that you are going to do it, and that is his problem. Hand him the number for a counselor and tell him good luck. Whatever happens after that is not your problem.

jumpingrightin

Get professional help. Also an attorney.

SASSY PJ

you dint need him to agree to a divorce to get one- you have grounds as it is- as far as him threathing suicide-its the oldest emotional blackmail in the world and very immature. Don't fall for it.

beer_pharts

he is just telling you that. Most people that are really suicidal dont talk about it

goldwing

Hand him a knife. Make it so much easier than divorce. Make sure he has a will that donates his body to science...no funeral costs. Trust that he is trying to control your behavior and relying on your sympathy to not leave him...where was all this concern before he stepped out on you? Again, hand him a knife and let him go to it....you will find the threats to suddenly stop. Just make sure to be standing at the exit door when you do this...you make have to make a dash for it when his methods of controlling you fail.

merivel7

Most people use the suicide excuse to keep the person trapped! I have no tolerance for cheating no matter the excuses. If this person loves you so much that they are willing to kill them self if they don't have you then WHY DID YOU CHEAT?? Life is too Short to play mind games. You need to be strong. move on and find someone more mentally stable.

olderbutwiser

Go on about your life, and do what's best for you. If he was going to kill himself, he wouldn't tell you. He cheated , he got caught, he's going to lose you, and he's trying not to. Do what you need to do! He'll think twice about cheating next time.

talkingparrot

since he has cheated ....break his bones
he wont agree to a divorce ... he still loves u
threatens committing suicide .... dare him

can u carry the burden that he has cheated on u? u might give him a 2nd chance, depends on u & the weight of his misconduct

magginine

get help from someone who is close to both of you. this is a situation where he is trying to keep you by making you feel guilty when the real guilt is on him. he's deperate. tell him you don't want to hurt him but you need to move on. and enlist help.

free_angel

I'd tell the spouse if killing themselves is what it's going to take to get over the fact that I'm leaving and not putting up with their sorry *** cheating then so be it. How they gonna do it? Use a knife? Maybe hang themselves. Hell I got knives and ropes and gasoline and matches. Just let me know and I'll see what I can do.

charlesjerrell

well if you dont love him, damn i dont know what to say, some people mean what they say, some dont, try some kind of councling, good luck and i hate that u have to go through this

werk2much2000

Well I dont know what state your in.... but most states have no-fault divorces. Neither partner needs to agree.

The suicide is something that is up to the person to deal with.
No one is holding a gun to his/her head but themselves.

NVR 2 L8

Tell him to grow up and get some balls. He made the choice to be unfaithful and he needs to face the consequences of his actions. He needs to be a man of integrity.

I'm certain he wasn't thinking of suicide when he was banging the other woman so do NOT play into his pity party.

I don't even know him but he's a spineless, irresponsible wimp.

Just curious..

i'd take out a huge insurance policy on her!!!

happy

get someone to help you and him get over this together.

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