What would you say to the woman who tried to steal your husband away?

heath e

Well, if you want to beat her face in, then you must want to beat your husband's face in. They both did the same exact thing. One is not more wrong than the other. If you had to weight the blame on somebody, it would be your husband. So rethink your hatred towards her. You just hate the fact that your husband strayed and lied about it. You don't like the situation. It's hard not to blame the easy target when you have so much anger built up. You don't want to throw it all at your husband, because you feel he's doing everything he can to change it and make things better. Why spoil that out of mere anger? So you choose to channel it towards her. It doesn't work that way. You need to deal with your anger, or else your marriage is going to die. That's the bottom line in this situation. If you want help dealing with your anger, I'm more than happy to help you with that. Just send over a message or contact me through messenger.

Heath

CLE CLE

If you are going to forgive your husband for his betraying act, then let it go. However if you continue to desire to hurt the lady that came between you and your husband than you will never be able to move on.

Nena S

Sorry to burst your bubble, honey. You may THINK you have forgiven your idiot husband; but you haven't. This kind of betrayal is not easily forgotten.

Your fury towards the woman is understandable.
But she was not the one married to you; your cheating husband was...and is.
HE disrespected you and your marriage vows; the woman did not promise to "honor and protect you", did she?
.........................................
Go to therapy or counseling and vent. Deal with your feelings and address the issues you have with your husband. Evaluate if you still think you can rebuild things with him...and if not, then call it quits. Life is too short.

Cheaters seldom change. Don't fool yourself. He came back because she dumped him.

cutegirl6171

I would not get back together with this guy. Although, if you want to get your frustration out try drawing a picture of her or get a real picture, and tape it to a pillow, and punch it as hard as you can.

wisegirl74

I guess you answered your own question when you asked whether to leave you husband or stay with him. Now you must suffer the consequences. Your man needs to handle that woman and send her away. It is his fault your marriage is suffering. He needs to take a handle on this.

iyamacog

I'm sorry, but I wouldnt feel the need to speak with her. He would be of stronger concern for me. Since she wouldnt be capable of stealing him, unless he chose to be stolen.

jimrich

re: my problem is that I want to smash HER face in!

I don't get it! She is not and never was the problem. Your unfaithful husband was the problem! Smash his face if you must - he turned on you - not her!
Turn all that negative energy into working on raising your own self esteem and threatening women and unfaithful husbands will no longer bother you and/or you will learn how to deal with them from strength and wisdom.

avon calling

IF THINGS ARE GOING GOOD WITH YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND AND YOU HAVE GAINED THAT TRUST BACK LEAVE IT ALONE.. GO TO YOUR LOCAL GYM AND START WORKING OUT. YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW MUCH STRESS YOU CAN GET RID OF! BY THE WAY, YOU ARE BY FAR A BETTER WOMAN THAN I WOULD EVER HOPE TO BE!!

Destiny B

Try to see through victorious eyes, and soon you will see that it just doesn't matter. She is not worth the energy that you are expending.

Husker41

Good question, actually. The best revenge is for you to simply to live your married life happily and well - it is unlikely that she can do that.

To meet the psychological need you have, construct a "voodoo doll" of the woman in question and s-l-o-w-l-y stick a pin in it every day until you start to feel better. Then burn the doll and forget about it.

x2000

Why do you need closure with her? If your husband had some character and morals, this would have never happened. She dumped him, he went back to his sure thing, and you accepted him like a doormat.

kim h

I can understand your anger but it is directed at the wrong person. What she did was wrong but she is not the one that made vows and promises to you, he is. She is not the one that walked out on you, he is. She has lied to you but it was not for her to tell you that your husband wanted out. He was not going to end it with her, he is telling you what you want to hear. Direct your negative energy at the person that deserves it. Your husband.

Lola

I would say this "you can have him , your just having my sloppy seconds biatch " !!! then walk away and then never speak another word to her :-p

PiggyGirl

That woman doesn't owe you anything so you shouldn't say anything to her. Now, as for your lying, cheating, husband, whatever you feel the need to say, say it to him--he's the one who vowed to be true to you.

I agree with Heath 100%, he's very smart on the subject. However; I would like to state that misery loves company. And you need to forgive BOTH of them. Not for them but for you. Holding in that kind of bitterness will only make you miserable. Let it go.

Let it go, forgive them both and move on and rebuild your marriage.

It is also said, that this is how you know you're over something: If you have a chance to get even, and you don't take it, then you're over it.
You are just not over it... please... for your sake just let it go.

This woman doesn't know you and doesn't care about you, so why are you so worked up over her. It is natural for us to blame the other party, not your wandering husband. The temptress from 20 years ago could have been ignored. We all get temptations, but your hubby acted on them so shame on him. The miss 10 week fling would have come and gone too, if she didn't realize she was being irresponsible and making bad choices.

I'd be worried and mad about him, not her. He was ready willing and able to participate in an affair.

My gut says I don't think you are truly secure in your relationship to be harboring such bad feelings toward this woman.

Journal, scream, take kick boxing or go for a run, do something to release this garbage from your system. Counseling might also give you some clarity on what really went on and who is really responsible.

Evee

Yoga helps... But so does praying. Being angry at her only hurts you. She doesn't deserve the satisfaction of knowing that she can still hurt you and your marriage. So don't let her. Pray to God for the strength to forgive her and move on in your marriage.

Hope that helps

PS:There's a good chance that her husband may not be as forgiving as you meaning she is left alone without a penny to her name because she signed a prenup.. and that is what she gets, the dirty homewrecker!

Garvers GF

At the end of the day, she has no loyalty to you. You are not married to her and she wasn't even your friend. Your husband is the one who should have been loyal. Now that you have forgiven him, you want to take your anger out on someone and who better, than the other person who was involved.
If you truly want it to get on with life and make your marriage work, then you have let it go.
As far as getting rid of the negativity, everytime I get pissed off I would go for a long, fast walk. Take it out on the pavement, tighten your bod and your husband will not stray again.

Rugu

Your husband was equally responsible in this act so don't blame her only. when things didn't work he is now back to you. Instead of thinking bad about her just be thankful that your husband is back and knows your values.

none

You and your husband have alot of work ahead. You should say nothing to her at all. The more forgiving we are, the better we feel!

Main cause of all this is your Husband, so take a break and go alone for relaxation & think with your Brain whether you want to live with someone who cannot be Trusted.
Good Luck.

Julie M

crap...its not only HER fault, your husband is 50% of the problem too...don't forgive HIM too easily, i mean what if another friend comes around and he wants to have an affair with HER too?!?!
To her, i wouldn't say anything if you are thinking of confronting her, but should she pass you, call her a ho dog biatch....After all your husband did have a choice in the matter and he WAS planning on marrying her after he divorced you...i think you are misdirecting your anger

Martha B

The one who owes you love, fidelity and respect is still sleeping on your bed, if you want to forgive him is fine. However, It is YOUR husband who did you wrong, not her. To her, you have absolutely nothing to forgive, you are absolutely nothing to her and she should be nothing to you too. How can you sleep with the one who betrayed you and want to "smash" the one who did nothing to you? What is wrong with you?

ghostwalker077

well,, realy, i see it this way, they both was in the wrong, an even tho, you love your man, he was just as guitly as her,,so if you going to beat, the blank out of her, you need to find a way, to pay him back too, ,realy i say let it go, for some where down the road, they both going to get, their due,,, true he hurt you, an no mount of words going to change that,,

Paul&Fran

Well honestly be the bigger person here and don't stoop to her level.. Things are good with your husband why rock the boat.. I can understand the resentment you have here but what good is it going to do?

Cassandra

wow this is kinda funny! it happened to me! they were best friends! almost siblings in high school! my husbands always secretly loved her! she thought of him as a brother

well we moved, had a baby, got married, and were as happy as could be! until she called and wanted her old friend back! it was so bad! he'd call her for lunch, in the car, in the middle of the night, basically anytime i wasn't there! one day he said he was going back home to see his mother and sister and made it so there was no way i could go, i asked if she knew he was coming, he told me no! the day after he got there he called and said he wanted a devorce it broke my heart! later i found out she told him to do it and she invited him back to her house everynight he was there, lol i wasn't sad anymore...i was angry, and surprisingly releaved, because finally FINALLY i knew the truth! lol when he came home i left and...i answered one phone call of his!!! sad to say it was the wrong one! i came back...because he told me exactly what i wanted to hear promised to call and tell her he chose me! she called a few times right after i went back to him and he ignored them! then about 6 months ago she called again and he answered it and told her to never call him again and of course she called right back and i answered! i said "the only reason you think it would of worked was because you weren't in it yet and you just want what you cant have....leave us alone." she sighed and hung up!
but anyways that was almost a year ago, were still together and finally working everything out! i was really angry for the longest time! not at him anymore but her! i just tried to keep myself busy or else i'd dwell on it! when that didn't work i'd start crying, bawling! i just didn't understand what she had that i didn't ! :) you have to find your own way to cope with it, but trust me there will be those days that you WILL cry out of anger and frustration! you are not alone ! lol i apologize for the book i got a little carried away ! good luck! thanks for letting me vent alittle myself!

alicia7382

I think you should smash your husband's face in first as he is the one that suppose to be committed to you. The husband is as much to blame as that other woman and if that was me, I would've divorced his *** and let him be with the trash.

I'm thinking you're keeping the negative energy right in your home-- the one you said you're 'working on trust' with, because there is no guarantee he will not have an affair again with someone else. And I bet he will still be with her if she didn't dump him. He were just trying to save face in front of you when he said he wanted to break up with her first.

As for his 'friend', she will get what is coming to her and that is all the closure you need.

Good luck on your marriage and I really *hope* your husband learned his lesson. But I don't think he did.

Rita

i would cal her a ****

amy g

Check out Jacob Glass - he is wonderful! You can find him on line by searching his name. He is sort of a motivational speaker - but the way he looks at things is so enlightening that it helps you see things in different ways as well.

Perhaps you are also angry at yourself for believing what they said? And I agree wit ht he other posts that your anger is probably more rooted in your husband - but perhaps you are so glad to reconcile you don't want to feel that so you are venting it through her? What she did is deplorable but don't walk around with that hate or you will only hurt yourself.

ducktape

know what?
its not her fault
and its not his fault
its BOTH of their faults
so be mad at her and your husband
and smash both their faces in.
you deserve someone better than him.
he was unfaithful to you & thats not right; when he married you,he vowed to not do that.
once a cheater,always a cheater may or may not be true.
but history does have a tendency to repeat itself.
i just suggest being very careful about getting back with him,if you do at all.
as for what to say to that h**, don't say a thing.
she might catch you offguard and say something just as smarty back; try a diff way of gettin even.
a way that she wont know its you;wont have evidence to prove it. but deep down,she'll know its you.
just nothing too bad; you dont wanna end up behind bars for these worthless 2; its just not worth it.

Elegancescorned

I would leave her alone unless she is stupid enough to contact you and then I would get a court order to keep her away from you both.

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