Whats the difference between marriage & living together?

The Bill

Well, arguing has nothing to do with marriage itself. The arguments can happen regardless of if you are or if you are not married. Although, I think there have certainly been couples that have never had an official marriage ceremony that have been quite successful together, it seems to be a rarity.

I think that in our society, especially since the advent of no-fault divorce laws, that marriage and living together are fairly synonymous. I think the commitment in marriage is usually stronger, because of the ceremonial aspects of it - i.e. you actually celebrate the commitment you are making - therefore, you have it always in your mind that you made a commitment to each other. I think with living together, there is no overt action of commitment and the ability to just pick-up and go is much easier.

Ultimately, however, the commitments strength is the responsibility of both people involved, don't you think?

CuriousJ

Marriage is a commitment, living together isn't. The arguments will be there in either case, it's just a question of whether you are willing to have to work at the relationship or not.

Unknown

The commitment. If your married it is always hard to get up and leave when you have made vows, but if your just leaving together there is no real commitment there for much easier to leave.

munkeroos

Well, if you do things right it shouldn't be any different. If you go into a marriage with expectations of things changing, or getting better or problems being solved - there will be plenty of arguements to struggle through.

I have lived with my guy for 3 years and we are getting married soon. And I sincerely hope not a damn thing changes. And I hope our relationship stays exactly the same.

Obviously its easier to live with someone, if you ever want to walk away. Legally, its easier to be married for the benefits.

But the piece of paper won't make it any easier to live with someone, than not having at. And it certainly wont cause more arguements, unless you expect marriage to change the relationship, and you're let down when it doesn't.

Rockit

My husband and I didn't live together prior to marriage. We made sure we knew each other well and could make it through tough times together. A lot of people move in early (within a few months) in order to see if things will work but the problem with that is that they really don't know each other well yet. They are living together to see if it'll work but you can also learn a lot about each other by spending time together and not living together. I would visit my husband during the day and stay with his parents while we were dating and engaged. I spent the day at his house (now our house) and spent time with him but didn't live there. We took time to get to know each other instead of moving in shortly after becoming a couple. Other people date for a few years but want to hold off on getting married but then they move in together until they can get married. It makes the marriage seem pretty pointless except that they feel they want that stronger commitment with saying vows. Just because you don't live together before marriage doesn't mean you have more arguments than those who do. Just because a couple lives together before marriage doesn't mean they will not argue and know each other better. I think that's an assumption that a lot of people follow. I know my husband very well and didn't have to live with him to learn about him.

Stephen Fry

In England a man has very few legal rights unless married. Especially where children are concerned. Women have less rights where property is concerned. The tax and benefits systems in England are biased towards married people.

MyMarriageRocks

well don't marry a man that you would argue with. Besides when the 2 of you play house together and you split up, guess what?? You are introuble because he may get to keep all the posessions...I see this stuff of Judge Judy all the time. Never live with a guy or girl. Don't play house. You don't want to end up going to a civil court and pleading your side saying well "I spent my money on the rent" etc...and then you probably won't have proof. Besides now only that but God is against it.

RACHEL T

the only difference is a piece of paper

smile for me

if living together and have a fight you would not try hard to work things out as it would be easy to get out.

justasking88

Does a couple that lives together NOT argue? Anyway, the difference is the commitment. A couple shacking up and leave whenever, but a married couple is obligated to work through things and, God forbid, actually make an effort to preserve the relationship.

Angel

Someone shouting 3 years later i want a divorce and am taking HALF!!!

G-P

an expensive divorce?!

True

No it isn't easier, no matter what anyone says.

Furniture isn't inflatable when you live together versus getting married. You don't live off of monopoly money. You still have assets that have to be split and it is just as messy.

You do what is right for you and your partner. If living together for a few years before marriage works better, then kuddos. If getting married works best at first, then kuddos as well. Don't let anyone else's morals/values dictate your and your partner's life.

blue eyes

Commitment is the difference. You have a different state of mind.

When you live together, in the back of your mind, you tell yourself that you can up and leave at any time. This goes against true commitment. You are less accepting of your partner's flaws. And your partner is less accepting of yours.

When you are married you accept that person for who they are and are committed to working through any problems instead of just walking away.

Marie

If you only live together, and he passes away you will not be entitled to his ss or pension. If he has a will however, the other things are covered. I don't undestand why you think if you get married you will struggle through arguments. Are you arguing now? If so then move on and find someone more compatible. If however you aren't, then you shouldn't just because of marriage. Everyone argues to a degree, but I find the longer I am married (21 years so far) the less the arguments. I think its because we have learned to respect each other and what each of us expects of the other. Good luck on your decision.

Chadp10

women know when you live together if they act up its over so they behave. They also work hard to get that ring once they have it all the incentive to be nice is gone. and the guy is not leaving over every argument it will cost him to much money.

tweety

a piece of paper and 50/50 what his is yours and yours is his.

cherry_4235

well u can up and go if your not married

mdk68gto, too long in the garage

a license and a tax write off. just the duration and commitment to make it work.

arismom0708

The difference is a nice party and a piece of paper.

You still go through the same arguements when you are just living together. The fact that you are married don't make the arguements more.

David D

Happiness

Ladybird14

Marriage is just a piece of paper- when you want to finished a marriage, it's too complicated, atleast when you're just living with your partner- it's a lot easier, no lawyer's fee involved..besides..it doesnt necessarily means, having wedding vows/ marriage cert. will last a relationship..

Oana

the difference is that marriage is supposed to be harder to get out of. If you don't want the commitment, then stick to living together. The thing is, you'll probably have a hard time finding the "perfect partner" that will live through the arguments especially the tough ones living together. You may however find one that will in marriage. It's a stronger bond. It's actually freeing knowing that your partner will work just as hard at keeping it together as you will. and when kids get in the picture...it simplifies things.

Reaper

marriage is a contract and just living together you can still wonder

Sandra D

Can't understand why people think you are not committed to each other if you live together as opposed to being married. I have lived with my partner for 17yrs, we have two children and no matter how hard it gets or how many arguments we have we work it out. If we did decide to get married I don't think it would make one iota of difference to our relationship.

Valerie X Deleted AGAIN!

If you are just living together, you can just pick up and leave when he cheats on you or turns into an azzhole.

as far as the "marriage is harder to get out of" comments, I wouldn't want to be with someone who is just with me because the relationship is "Hard to get out of"....but hey, thats just me.

I want a partner who is with me because HE WANTS TO BE! NOT BECAUSE HE "HAS" TO BE!

Jellied E

the difference is , them who get married are stupid enough to get ripped off by a few grand ,

if you love each other you will stay together , without a wedding ,

p.s , most marriages fail misserably anyway

whowantstoknow

Living together is essential before getting married. I know it goes against religion, but I've saved myself several times from making a huge mistake by trying before buying.

Beachbum

I think living together is the better of the two, until you are completely 100% sure that they are the person you want to be with for the rest of your life, if you dont feel that way, or are unsure, stay as "living together" because once the legal documents get involved (marriage) then if you decided it's not working, it is more complicated to walk away & because you are married there is more of a sense of responsibility to try and make the relationship work, even if you are ready to walk away.

Racer

What difference would a piece of paper make if the couple is "struggling through the arguments?" Married or not, the choice is yours to stay or leave... being married or not has nothing to do with it...........

You can be in a committed relationship and still live with the person just as much as being married. What... a piece of paper makes the difference?? That's a ridiculous notion....... check the divorce stats.

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