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When a man leaves for his mistress, does it usually last?
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When a man leaves for his mistress, does it usually last?

My husband met another woman while we were married. He was seeing her for about 2 weeks when I found out about it. He promised this girl they would be together just as soon as he could get away from me. Now he's pushing hard for a very fast divorce, trying every avenue to go at lightening speed to try to get our family (we have a 17 month old daughter) to move out of our house and divorce me so he can go be with this woman. He's being so mean and hateful (he has been for a long time, though...but now he's being extra hateful) telling me he never loved me and everything is wrong with me. I can't believe he's willing to throw his family away for some whirlwind romance with a girl he's seen for a couple weeks (he had me move in with him after a couple weeks, too, so it doesn't shock me that he thinks he's in love so fast). Obviously, we're going to end up divorced, and there isn't a whole lot I can do to stop it...but I'm just wondering: Do relationships like these usually work out well when the husband leaves to be with his mistress? I am so upset and so angry with the way I've been treated, how much I've put up with, and now the trashing of my family for some girl 10 years younger than himself, that I honestly do hope that after all's said and done, he ends up alone. He's a mentally abusive, selfish person, and really no one- not even a homewrecker- deserves how he will eventually treat them. Anyone with experience with this...please let me know if these things ever really work out for the best. Thanks.
Additional Details
For those saying I want to get back with him or want him to come back to me, no I do not. I have come to terms with the fact that my marriage is over, and I'm somewhat happy about that, now. I just really don't want him to destroy everyone's lives by being selfish and end up with a lovely fairy tale relationship in the end. Yeah, I guess that makes me nasty or something, but that's how I feel.


Cyclist 2300
no... it hardly ever works out.....

the man cheated on his first wife.... leaves her.... for the mistress....

and before long.... he'll cheat on the mistress with another mistress....

some people just can't be trusted.... no matter how much you love them and want to trust them.

Get a good lawyer...take everything he has.
Once you have all his money, the house, the cars and he has to send you an enormous child support check every month...she probably won't want anything to do with him, especially if she is younger because she was probably just looking for the thrill.

Normally I hate divorce because it favors the women, but in cases like this I say the man deserves to pay big.

By the way, he's trying to speed it up so you don't do this...don't give in to him and think about yourself and your child. He's only thinking about himself so why shouldn't you?

Valerie X Account #17 MEAN GIRL
It will work out for the best- for you, but probably not for him.

You NEVER marry the affair.... NEVER....

Think about it... if he'll cheat with you... he'll cheat on you.... and for her, if she'll try and steal a married man, then marriage means nothing to her, so she wont respect her own.....

You'll be able to laugh about it later when they're both miserable and you've met a TRUE prince charming. :-) I promise, he is out there....

if he left you for the one he was cheating with, he will leave her for the next one he cheats with and on and on and on. He thinks the grass is always greener. When life gets too complicated he looks for something else.

Sheila D
They usually don't last because the guy will either come across another girl he might "love", or the mistress will get tired of him or become filled with some sort of guilt. Hopefully, you find a better guy!

not usually.

because theyre used to sneaking around about everything so it will be a big change for them and there will probably be ALOT of arguements about it.

but there are plenty of fish in the sea so hook a great one next time.

Stephen L
How terribly unfortunate, especially for your daughter who will grow up with divorced parents. Anyway, the answer to your question is no -- these types of relationships have a poor chance of lasting.

I'm so sorry for you...

He is a man who is being led by temptation. I believe, honestly, when he says those things to you, he doesn't mean them, he's just looking to make it easier for him to go. How could he mean all of that and not have known from the beginning that you are the problem? And he just now starts feeling this way about you when he meets this other woman? He's full of beans and will ultimately regret it. Let him make this mistake. It will be the biggest one of his life. However, it may be the best thing that ever happened to you. If he is as bad as you say he is, you don't need him. Someone will come along if you're meant to be with someone else. Stay strong.

Jay J
My wife's ex-husband left her for another woman. He and the mistress have been together 11 years. It happens.

Ready for flowers to blossom:].
I'm really, really sorry about what is happening in your life now.
I would hope for your sake that when he leaves he actually realizes that he let the best thing that has ever happened to him go.
If he treats you as bad as it seems, you should just try to move on honey. Like you said, not one person deserves to be treated like they are nothing.

I hope that everything works out for you and your daughter:].

Jason O
Just move on with your life and make yourself happy. My ex and her affair got married shortly after our divorce was finalized and from what I understand they had a child together. You can't live your life hoping something bad will happen to them. You can only live your life making sure your happy.

I would be considering myself lucky that he is out of your life. You deserve so much more than being tied to a mentally abusive selfish person. Next time, take your time and actually get to know the person you want to comment your life to. Do not move in with them after a few weeks, okay. We all make mistakes in life, the secret is not to make the same mistake over and over. Good luck sweetie.

It doesn't normally last, because a mayjor thing in their fling was the thrill of doing something they shouldn't be.
They normally only try and keep a long relationship to proove to others that they genuinely did it because they love each other.
She will soon find another married man to prey on,
and it's the same story all over again,
Sorry to hear what's happened.
Good Luck

From what you are describing here he is not a nice person. Nice people do have affairs and get divorced, but he doesn't sound very nice to me. The novelty will wear off with the new fling and she'll get herself something else. She's trash too, knowing he's married with a small baby and could care less what he is doing to his family.They both really deserve each other but he seems too narcissistic to me.

He is the same person, and always will be. If he jump to relationship to relationships, it all depends on the woman that how long can she handle him. If so, from my point of view it will last about the same time as before. Meaning she is going to move in with him, BAM few months maybe get married or they just end up breaking up and she leaves him or he leaves her. Either way from his personality seems he is not a commitment respectful type of man.

Tony S
No it will not work out, because he strikes me as the kind of guy that loves the challenge and the chase with a woman he barely knows (i.e. seeing her for 2 weeks and kicking you out). My suggestion is for you to get a good lawyer and get as much as you can out of him (money) and move on. Find a better life and a better man that will love you and your daughter. Good Luck

I think it really all depends on the people involved. Although, in his case, he seems to move really fast with everything in life, so who can really say if they will last? I doubt a lot of these kinds of relationships work out, but I know there are some that do.

If anything, consider it a blessing that you can get out of it now. With everything you say about him here, it's a good thing that you won't have to put up with his crap for the rest of your life.

Good luck with everything :)

No, they do not last. She is 'new' so its 'exciting'. That will wear off. I was the other woman once...not in a marriage, but dating-wise and had no clue ( that i was in that position). After 5 months, i realized I couldn't hold a candle to the other girl. There will always be issues with your kid, you calling him regarding the kid ( jealousy). My dad married the other woman and he says that is his only regret.

She is younger, so she will get tired of things quickly...we all do at a young age. I am 24 getting married and I still feel young. I think honestly, she will leave him.

Ultimately, protect your child from all the chaos and do the best you can. Everything does happen for a reason. Maybe this means that your mister right is yet to be found. What goes around comes around. Karma. Keep positive and I would love to keep in touch... I love being a listening ear!

Chances are he will cheat on his girlfriend once they are married. But, he also won't come back to you. They rarely do. He'd have to apologize, and that kind of man will never do that.

First of all you need to move on because you have a child to think about. Obviously he doesn't care about you or the baby because if he did, then he would try everything possible to make the relationship work. I don't think that the relationship with his mistress will last because of how their relationship began. Just remember that what goes around comes around and sometimes they just pay double for what they did. She might even end up leaving him for someone younger, someone like her age.

Oh no! Poor you!

It depends why he left.

If it was just because he realised he liked the other woman more that his wife, or it was a mid-life crisis it might not last.

If they are in love it probably will last.

Hope I Helped :)

Its the same thing as for a woman who has a fling at the office. People, male or female, that are not loyal in their relationships will always continue to involve themselves in this kind of conduct. They will repeat this cycle again and again with multiple relationships over time. Those of us that always remain ardently loyal in our relationships basically were born that way. So basically it's not the fault of the jilted partner... its a choice that your spouse make on their own because of what they are inside. Just the way it is. Condolences. Best wishes and good luck.

He sounds like he has issues, so it probably wont last. If you are hoping it won't last and that will cause him pain, which you might think would make you feel better, it isn't worth it to waste time thinking about. Move on with your life and the best revenge is to get over him and do much better then him without looking back. It's understandable that you would be mad at him, but why give him another second of thought. You deserve better and wondering too much about when he will "pay for this" could be time better spent making your life better. Concentrate on making a better life for you and your child. He will have his day but you will be better off if you don't waste time wondering when it'll happen.

Lulu Firaga
I think it absolutely depends on whether the relationship is right. My personal experience has been with a relationship like this that has worked out. I've known ones that haven't. The excitement of an affair is short-lived, especially when it's this quick. It's quite possible there's nothing solid there to build a relationship on.

That said, you're asking two different questions. Firstly, whether it will last, and secondly whether it can work out for the best. I really think it can work out for the best for you no matter whether his new relationship lasts or not. You'll be free of a man who put you down, made you unhappy and doesn't deserve you. With your next relationship you'll be a little more cautious and get somebody better. As long as you don't let this experience stop you from being open to new relationships - when you're ready, of course - you win.

If his relationship breaks up - well, you'll probably feel a little bit pleased. Fair enough! But even if it doesn't, you'll eventually be happy the one putting up with him isn't you.

Well every ones situations are different but mine:
he cheated on me with this woman we separated then they were in love and it lasted about 2 months because he left her for her good friend (which he was also sleeping with behind my back) he had been cheating on her with.. ha-ha and get this... while he was with that last girl he got with her friend too... HA-HA... made me feel pretty good i wont lie... so within the year of our separation he has went through numerous women... and still cant find one out there like me:)
aahhhh love is great... but you will get though this just NEVER let him or HER get the best of you.. keep your head up!!

I think he's been with her for longer than 2 weeks. Don't believe what he tells you, in fact, that should be the theme here (I've lived this too). My husband still denies an affair even though they spoke daily at all hours of the day and night. I can tell you that after almost two years, going through this divorce, I found him sleeping in our house, last week. I kicked him out. I used to feel, like you, that I wanted their relationship to end. Now I feel like I don't have to deal with his crap anymore, and she, who thought he was something special, now does. My divorce is about final. Its been costly, but in the end, I will be so much better off, and independent. Then I can focus on being alone, then finding a nice guy. Don't you want the same for yourself? You will get there. Good luck! And, don't put up with his crap, either.

Jhon S
are you the girl in your profile's picture? if so, wow, your husband is crazy.
anyways, don't you have some dignity, self respect, self esteem? are u praying for that romance to not work out so that your husband comes back to you?

im sorry that you have to go through this. a couple things to consider. a man (or woman) who is willing to leave their wife (husband) and kids for a weeks old fling, clearly has some deep issues. i cant say what because i dont know him, but he may just be a miserable person who feels that he can find happiness in some else rather than in himself. the fact that he done this with a younger woman tells me that when hes out grown his usefulness, or when he discovers that his new fling isnt the answer to is issues, itll be over. my best advise to you is...give him his divorce..and as hard as it may seem move on...youll be better off and so will your little daughter. get a lawyer, get child support...he cant take your daughter..
hell be an angry miserable person all his life...

Please don't live your life as a bitter woman who was tossed aside! Have you asked yourself what was your role in not keeping your man? Women have this misconception that once you say I do it's a license to get fat & lazy you have to work on your marriage & not take them for granted just b/c your married!

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