When women look at other men is it different from when men look at women?
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When women look at other men is it different from when men look at women?
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My wife have argued over whether or not it is different when she looks at another man compared to when I look at another woman. She does not like it when I look at other women when we are out in public. Over the years I have gotten good at maybe glancing without turning my head but she still gets mad sometimes. She does understand that I look at pictures of women and does not care, she only cares when it is someone I see in public. My problem is that I feel like she does the same thing with men. She will discuss men from work with her friend over the phone in the evening (not graphic but how she likes the fit of a new guy's slacks and so on). Her book club discussions often turn to men as well and I can overhear on nights when I am in the house. Sometimes these discussions are disrespectful to men I think (for example how to tell if a guy is big by how he walks). She does not usually turn the talk in this direction but she does contribute in a way that I think shows that she does look at men. When we have discussed this she says it is different because women do not look to sleep with these men but simply appreciate them visually, whereas when men look at women it is about identifying potential new partners even if most men never act on it. Is the act of looking at others really that different between men and women? I respect her feelings on it but get tired of arguing with her when she gets upset.
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David
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Women usually win these arguments, as you have discovered. There is probably some truth to the contrast she is drawing between how you look and how she looks. Plus when you are out with her and look at a woman, even briefly and even if it is something you cannot help, then there is a conflict created that pushes you apart. When she and her work friend take the time to discuss the new guy's physical attributes you can be sure they would like to see him without those slacks on. But even more so, this is a chance for her to bond with her friend over a shared appreciation. By the same token, her book club engages in discussion of things they all enjoy, including men's bodies, because that is a way for them to connect. So cut her some slack and try not to ogle women when you are out with your wife. |
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unhitched
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When we look - Hmm, what would it be like to boink her?
When she looks - Hmm, what would it be like to meet him? |
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tell_tale
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I am sorry, but me and your wife are on the same level. I've had that exact conversation with my husband. You sound like a nice guy. My husband and you sound like you both think the same. I cant wait to show this question to him. |
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Dads boy
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Lol I found in life that the person that gets mad at the other for looking is usually the one that is or would cheat . That's the way there minds are set . They get mad at you because they think your thinking the same thing they are . Ask your self how in the hell would she know what a man thinks when looking at a woman unless she has men telling her that . She must dominate you . She can you cant . |
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Robert
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I'm certain this is a hot-button topic that is going to be in your relationship. You won't change either of your minds, so you should attempt to diffuse it as quickly as possible. Women usually don't like being compared to other women, especially if they are "more attractive" than your wife. That being said, her argument is an over generalization of men. She doesn't trust you about looking and not touching for some reason, and you can't change that. Accept it.
My wife checks out other guys, and I check out girls all the time. Very rarely does it come up, but she knows that she is the one I come home to at night. |
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Norie
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There is an old saying that you are married your not blind or dead. It is how you are looking that makes the difference.If you see hot lady and you are like ( WOW ! Look at the wiggle on her ! And Oh jump for joy look at those jugs ! ) That is where you should be hit over the head.Same as if she sees a drop dead hunk of a guy and says ( Oh look at the bun on him ! I'd love to butter it ! ) The idea is look but do not react,keep it low and to yourself.Never let the left hand know what the right hand is thinking. |
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preview
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you both are crazy...
if you know she gets annoyed and it leads to fights and arguments then why do you want to look at other women in front of her? |
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