When you tell your husband he is abusive and he denies it - How do you leave the crazy making behind.?

morbidlybeautiful

if you are so tired of being emotionally abused by your husband then leave. Get a place of your own or go stay with friends. You can't expect things to change if you do nothing to make it. If you are tough, then you can do this ...

Christie L

Hello ...I am sorry for your pain.....One thing you should do is head to a sight called Love Fraud. The abuse he has rained upon you for so many years speaks to his illness. Just go there and you will see what I mean

happywjc

Just pack your stuff and take your son and leave!
With your head held high!
he's keeping you down!

Buzzoff

I'm not going to tell you you're stupid. I have walked in your shoes. You are not stupid. But you are battered. And that's why you feel so tired, so worn out, and incapable of leaving.

But you can leave, and you should leave. You need to leave. He is poison to your well-being. Your son is old enough to know what's what. He's not a little kid. And by getting up the strength to leave, you will show him just how strong you are. If he questions you, answer him honestly. Even if you have to do it more than once.

You need to get away from that man, and quickly. Enlist the help of friends and family to get you through this. If you have to crash on somebody's couch until you get on your feet, so be it. It's better than being told what a disappointment you are. YOU CAN DO THIS. You are strong. You can do this. And you have to. You are the only you you have. Take care of you.

Best of luck. I wish you all good things that life has to offer.

bornagainbrat

It is difficult but you will quickly realize it worth all the trouble. I have been there and done that. It was so liberating. I have come so far in my life since and he is still exactly where he was when I left 15 years ago.

CindyLu

Get more sleep. You need the physical rest. Stand up and be proud of what you are doing for your life and that of your child. Keep going and do not listen to his abusive words. Know that the problem is within him and go on with your life. Move it you need to, it will be so worth it for you to get your own space or at least out of the orbit of his malic and violent attitude. Good Luck and God Bless

Lil Bit

I went through something close to the same. My EX husband was more than just verbally abusive. I finally got enough and told him I was done. I told him he has an eviction notice, he is to be out in 3 months. So I stayed with a friend for that time and let him have the time to move. My MISTAKE don't leave, he sold so much of my stuff. Tell him he has so long to get out and stick to it. He will tell you anything to make sure he isn't the reason you are. I wish you the best, it will be a fight to get the house, which after all he put you through you should have. If he supported you through the whole marriage and you are accustomed to a way of living try to get spousal support. Try to get the house YOU made a home, its not being vindictive to do that you made it what it was. I am sure you put more time and effort into making it a home than he did (as some men don't, not most just some). He had a choice to be the way he is. I wish you the best. Stay strong, you are taking the first step. BTW I wasn't vindictive I was fair in the divorce, way too fair.

Arthur W

His reaction to youre telling him are normal as most men will never ever admit that they have a problem nor take the blame for anything they did. Time has come for you to decide whether youre better off with or without him and go from there. You have tried to make your marriage work but a marriage is not a one sided street and it really does take two to make a marriage work and you definitely tried your best out of love and no one can ever say otherwise. Yes you are tough and you may need to call on that toughness once again to restart all over but then youll be putting the worst behind you and moving toward a whole new future. You can do it and good luck

Crafty

Ann, good for you. Stick to your guns. You do not have to tolerate being verbally abused. He is the one with the problem.He needs to change, not you.Do what you have to do.

Vicky

leave him u and your son would be happier without him. its so hard to leave when u love someone u always think they may change one day your not the let down he is for ruining everything he has done this not u if he cant treat people with respect he will end up a Very lonely person...........

Cat

Well, you taught your son not to give up easily, that you stuck it out because you wanted things to change. It shows that you love your family. My mother and my mother in law are both divorced, they are both happy and confident and they have taught me a lot. You can be yourself now, if you feel down when you are alone it will not be because someone else is making your life miserable. Women in unhappy relationships don't live as long, they suffer from depression and ill-health. A weight must be lifted from you now, you have a lot to look forward to. You can do anything you want, go anywhere you want and be anyway you want. You have no one to answer to. I wish you luck and a happy stress free future.

I'm a Riot.

You have the skills it takes to leave this man and make a life for yourself witout his abuse.

I left an abuser two years ago while he was at work. I am whole and healthy again.

800.799.SAFE

Monica

I think they usually deny it. When my husband was physically abusive, he just denied it ever happened. That way he's taken your focus off the abuse and now all you can think about is how he's denying something that clearly happened. And he's cutting off all discussion about it, which also takes your focus off what happened. And it keeps you from coming to a conclusion about what to do about it. It's weird how that works, but it does. So you're not stupid at all, you're actually quite smart. Get out of there while you're still feeling strong.

Corrine R

I was in a horrible relationship with my husband for about 4 years he was verbally/mentally abusive towards me. My last piece of tolerance left my body one night when he finally said "you don't understand anything, you are just a stupid *****". I cried and finally decided that was the last time he would call me names and make me cry. I kicked him out the next night, he was in disbelief. I made him leave and told him that if he didn't cops were going to get involved. He had issues with how he was raised so he needed to fix it on his own. It took 3 months for him to show me he was changing and he really did sort out childhood issues, he confronted parents and went to anger management. We have been back together for a year and a half. I am glad he sorted this all out and knows how to control his anger now, he has not called me names or hurt me since then. Sometimes you have to snap out of the "being tolerant and tough " thinking and realize what is good for you and your children. They should not have to witness any type of abuse. Teach him a lesson and if there isn't a chnge than so beit, He isn't right for you if he cannot seek help and try to control himself for you and your child.

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